I kind of made the first step.. now what?


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This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Liz Lemon 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #765791 Reply

    Asayi

    Ok so I did something that I’ve never done before: I subtly asked a guy out. I’ve never done that for a first date. Long story short, he’s a guy who followed me on Instagram a few months ago. He actually found my account through common friends/followers and he also discovered my blog and my writings. He sent me a message saying he loves what I write, that he can relate to some ideas and other things that I expressed on my blog. We then started to message each others once in a while and really, I didn’t have anything behind my mind until I started to realize that he had potential for more than just a pen pal lol So it started to become a little bit frustrating for me to have him send messages, suggesting me new foodies to try (without asking me to try them WITH him) and I started to be kind of interested soooo yesterday, after answering to another message of him, I told him that I never tried a foodie that he suggested me. He then answered ‘Omg what are you waiting for??’ I almost replied ‘you’, but then I just said that I was waiting for a craving + maybe, by any coincidence, when I eat this foodie, he’ll be eating this foodie too. He’s smart, so he probably got the hint, but then he just answered ‘that would he amazing, nothing less’. I didn’t open his message thinking that he just rejected me since he didn’t make any substantive move. But an hour later, he asked what are the odds that I’ll be trying this foodie on a Sunday or Thursday evening. I was a bit confused and answered ‘Odds are very good on a Sunday evening’ and he said he loves that. So again, I was a bit frustrated and told myself to never do this again everrrr. He then told me that he tried a new sport recently and that it was really cool and I answered that indeed, it sounds cool. Later, he said ‘I’m impatiently waiting for your craving :D ‘

    So I just answered ‘I always crave foodie on Sundays :)’

    Ok now what? Should I abort the plan? After all, if really he wanted to make a move and see me, he would have asked me out by now, right? And if he ends up asking me if I’m available on X day at X hour, how would I take it from there? Technically, I’m the one who made the move, but I don’t want to keep myself in a chasing position now :( A lot of you give really great advice, so I’m here listening helppp

    #765792 Reply

    Raven

    You say, I’ll be trying foodie @ 6:30- if he shows up great. If he don’t, you’ll still get to eat…

    After that, sit back & see if he makes a date.

    You two may meet & decide there’s nothing there…

    #765793 Reply

    Jay

    Ahhhhh… most times if you give a clue to a guy about wanting to meet him he either jumps on it or not. In this case you flirted and made it clear and he hasn’t on his end. He might already be dating or seeing someone. Just because he likes your blog doesn’t mean there is romantic interest in you.

    At this point the ball is in his court. If he offered up an actual date, then go for it. But don’t keep pursuing him. He knows you like him. The rest is on him. The guy has to like you more than you like him for things to work.

    #765795 Reply

    A

    I like Jay’s post. Don’t automatically assume he’s single just because he messages you. He could just be bored or looking for an ego boost. It doesn’t automatically mean he’s into you romantically. Also, Jay’s comment, “the guy has to like you more than you like him for things to work.” SOO TRUE.

    #765798 Reply

    Dangerouse

    He has not asked to meet you. Period. Quit being so flattered by messaging.

    I say, ignore the clown. He’s all talk and no action.

    #765802 Reply

    Asayi

    When he messaged me months ago, I discovered through messages and his answers to some of my writings that he was going through a breakup (which made me not interested in him more than that since I didn’t want to put myself in a rebound territory), but he eventually moved on and now he’s enjoying his life, he deleted pictures with the girl and the girl. Of course, I don’t know if he’s seeing someone or if he’s in a relationship now (which I honestly doubt, but I can’t assume anything as you say), but I guess I wanted to ‘test’ his interest (I forgot to add that I was ‘coffre drunk’ and that my brother helped me send the flirty text lmao)’. Anyways, I’m not expecting anything from him and I’m still talking to other guys, I was just very curious to check how he’d respond and now that I did it, I’m just more confused hahah

    I do agree that if he shows some interest back and asks me out, I’ll make sure to not like him more and not chase him. I 100% agree with the fact it works better when the other likes you more than you do.

    Anyways, the ball is in his court and if he only likes to read my writings and casually answer to my posts/stories on Instagram, I’ll let him do whatever he wants and just stop considering him as a ‘potential’ because really, he’s just that: a potential. Aka nothing worths stressing over (even though I’m still shocked that I made a move for the first time in my life, I wasn’t expecting that from me).

    Thank you all! I’ll keep you updated if he ever answers if you want lol

    #765804 Reply

    Asayi

    Hmm okay the update comes earlier than what I expected. He just answered ‘Then let’s go tomorrow :)’

    #765805 Reply

    Dangerouse

    What is a foodie? A restaurant?

    #765807 Reply

    Asayi

    The foodie = just something really tasty but super not healthy that he suggested me to try

    #765811 Reply

    Shoshannah

    Sounds like you have a date. Enjoy!

    #765813 Reply

    Gsd

    I dont get why you say “foodie” why not just food? It sounds ridiculous

    #765814 Reply

    Asayi

    English is not my mother tongue, so some of my expressions might not be appropriate sorry

    Anyways, we’re planning our ‘date’(?) for tomorrow, thank you all!

    #765815 Reply

    Raven

    Foodie is ok to use…

    Gsd is a troll.

    #765950 Reply

    Asayi

    Quick update: We went on a date yesterday and it was amazing! He treated me like a lady and he was very gentlemanly towards me (I haven’t been treated like that in a really long time and God knows on how many dates I’ve went in the last year lolll). Or maybe even the first time that I’ve been treated like that.

    Anyways, he went to my bus station with me to wait with me for my bus and he said that he had a good time with me. I then left and few minutes later, he sent me ‘Omg I forgot to give you your dessert!!!’ (He went to buy dessert before meeting me) and I said that it was okay and that I still had a very good evening without the dessert haha And then he said that he’d love to have other shared moments like that with me and I said That I’d love that too.

    Maybe an hour later, he texted ‘Have a goodnight’, but I fell asleep already, so should I just like his comment today or should I say something like ‘Have a good day! :)’ or something else for the fact that I know he’s going back to college today?

    Anyways, I don’t regret making the first move, it was worth it 100%, but I’ll let him take initiatives now if he wants to see me again

    #765956 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    It sounds like the date went great! I think you should text him back and wish him luck going back to college. Don’t just “like” the text. Be encouraging and text him something that will be easy to reply to. That way he can respond to your text, and it will hopefully lead to him asking you out for another date. It definitely sounds like he likes you but is maybe a bit shy, so be encouraging! Good luck!

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