I just wanted a better ending but I go this .. why !


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  • #735720 Reply

    santa

    We were classmates. I did propose him last year, he said no and we stayed friends, still talked but only as a friend. But after 5 months, one day I was angry at him for flirting with me, as I can’t just take this kinda behavior from him.
    Then, he said we should talk, let’s meet up. He said this will be our first date, I was too much confused but said yes, as deep
    down inside I had feelings for him. Before going out, he said he once was in a relationship with one of our classmate on the last
    year, but that didn’t work out. So, we met and talked, and it was a good time. And lastly, he kissed on my cheek that day. After coming home, I sent him message
    asking does he really like me ?, he said maybe, but it’ll take time. Because of his tough job schedule, we couldn’t see other much that time, and also I always
    communicate with him after evening, as that was best time for messaging because of our jobs. But the problem was that, even after we started seeing each other, most of the
    I initiated the talking. Sometimes, I thought, am I disturbing him ! I always feel like, does he really
    have any feelings for me. It was too confusing that after two weeks of our date, one day I message him why he is doing this ? And he responded in a very weird way,
    saying that we are actually different, as he is outgoing and I’m kinda introvert type. Even, he said I’m uptight. That night, I was so angry at him, on that
    moment, I said that okay we should breakup. He said okay. But as I was too fool, that
    after just one night, in the morning I was feeling like I’ve lost my everything. So next day, I again texted, asking
    him does he really want to breakup? as last night I didn’t ask what he wants. Then he said, he actually wanted to see if we’re actually compatible with each other
    or not. I thought maybe I reacted too much. Maybe he needs some time to figure out. That night, he asked me out for a second date. Maybe that was for the first
    time I feel like we are actually bonding like a couple while talking to him. On our second date, the weird thing was, mostly we were
    talking about things like our further study plan, jobs etc but we never talked anything about out relationship, as I said earlier that I’m not extrovert, so I didn’t ask
    and he also didn’t. While coming back together, I asked him, how our distances will be reduced. He replied that he didn’t know. After a while,
    he kissed on my lip twice. I still feel, I was so happy that day to be with him. But just after two days, again his, not giving a damn type attitude started
    again, and the worst part was, for the first time he didn’t respond to my messages. I gave him 3 causal messages on fb that day and also did give a message on
    his phone. But he never responded. I was too shocked and sad, also that day was my birthday, I decided that I will never send him any message, as I feel that
    whatever I should do, I did everything, So only for a once I wanted him to reach out to me. After that day, I never send him any message neither did he. And
    after 3 months, I unfriended him from facebook.
    But most of the time, the question that hurts me most was why didn’t he say to me that, it’ll not work between
    us and he’s not interested anymore. He knew me very well that i will never create any kind of dramatic situation. If he just gave a me direct answer like No,
    I would’ve just walked away. But he ghosted me, like I never exist.

    If he was just a random guy like we met in a facebook or only for sometimes maybe it will not hurt that much but we were classmates for 4 years. Yah its true, we
    were never close friend. But, just 6 months before out graduation, we became good friends, and somehow, I started to fall for him. And I always knew
    that he respected me a lot. But now I really dont know how can someone just change like that. Btw it’s true, he is kinda person, who really doesn’t
    want to take things too seriously kinda like a free bird. But he should’ve said that to me. I never forced him to come back to me after he rejected me for first time.
    He came to me as his own will. And then he just vanished. And the worst part was that, I gave a message wishing on his birthday. After 4 months i gave that message,
    he responded back with a thank u with a smiley emoji. I then asked why he stopped talking to me. He replied me that he didn’t know why he stopped talking.
    I was speechless seeing his response, and then I feel like I should finally stop now as he didn’t ask me a single thing like how was I or anything.

    In this 4 months, I’ve healed much but sometimes I still wonder why he did that, whatever we had it was my right to know even if he wanted a breakup.

    #735725 Reply

    Lane

    Its clear as day that he didn’t develop the kind of feelings you had for him. A man who really really likes a woman romantically would act like you do, so in the future if a man isn’t putting in any effort its a man’s way of SAYING and SHOWING you he’s not interested in pursuing anything.

    Some will try to see if their feelings change but in many cases it does not and he just couldn’t feel them for you which is why he didn’t have any desire to pursue it and hoped you would get ‘the hint’ because you gave you many. You are pretty intense, pushy, and overbearing based on what you wrote which is why he said you were “too uptight” and its a huge turn off for most men, especially alpha males. You would be better off with an beta man–one you would have a better chance bending to your will. Just an observation.

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