Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › I cant get past he was texting his ex
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Tallspicy.
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Laura
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Back when we first started dating about 2 months in he lent me his old phone as mine had broken and there was messages on there to other women and one he was still meeting. He promised me it was all over with and he was tiying up loose ends with her because he wanted to be with me and thr others he had been chatting to but wasnt seeing and he cut them all off to be with me. I gave him the benefit and stayed with him.because I felt alot for him. Now I have found out that since before june last year him.and his ex has been messaging each other. I messaged her in september asking her what was going on and she sent me the messages of him saying he misses her and we are not going to last and he wishes he never left her when he did and then he locked her off because he said she was trying to get hom to go with her and leave me but to him it was just banter because we wasnt getting on and he never wanted her. I cant get past it. He said shes locked off hes come off all social media and changed his number but my trust has gone. Hes sent me so many messages saying how much he loves me and wants us but if that’s the case he wouldnt have done that in first place. I’m thinking do I give another chance or finish for good. I look at him and he sits there saying ur the woman of my dreams but then I remember the texts he sent her and I hate him for it.
Tallspicy
Seriously? You are considering taking him back. He is either a liar or pathetic, which one is it? Do you want to be with a liar? Or do you want to be with a man so pathetic he tells other people challenges he has with you instead of trying to fix it. What he said to her is unforgivable even if he had not lied about talking with her. He is untrustworthy. Period.
Tallspicy
Just for giggles, ask him if he has gone to therapy to figure out why he sabatages relationships. If he can’t answer that, block him.
Raven
You will never be able to trust this lying, cheeting, pack of dog- You know that, right …?
Laura
Yes I know I have already told him I cant trust him. Every woman before me he cheated on since he was you and I cant see him ever changing I just feel different towards him now. When he talks to me he goes on like nothings happened. Hes talking to me about his day and what hes up to but womt talk about what happened. He can tell I’m off with him on the phone yet he wont say anything. Hes still calling me babe and he just makes me so angry the way he goes on. I’m done with him now I’m ready to start the new year fresh on my own.
Better off single
DO NOT GIVE THIS GUY ANOTHER CHANCE TO HURT YOU. HE BLEW IT! LET HIM GO!
Raven
Stop taking his calls…
Laura
When I’ve tried to talk to him about this all he says is if you want to know anything ask your new friend I dont want to hear about her shes gone keep me out of it and if you cant move on from it then walk from the relationship. So I told him that I dont trust him and that what he did even if it was just text messages to her but it’s what he was saying to her was unforgivAble and I cant get past it or trust him anymore and he hung up the phone on me.
He said what he did was wrong and he knows hes ruined the relationship but he dorsnt want to hear about it and wishes me all the best for new year. Hasn’t even tried to fight for relationship or explain why he did it just wants easy way out so on done with him now. The fact that when I contacted this girl about the messages she called him in front of me and he said to her on the phone its between you two dont get me involved you two sort it out shows me what kinda man he is.
redcurleysue
Men show feelings through actions. He texted ex…action…end of story.
If you want to be happy walk from this and do not look back.
Walk far away…in fact run! Cut him totally off and find another.
Liz Lemon
He didn’t “just text messages to her”. He told her he missed her, he wished he never left her, and that his relationship with you was not going to last. How are you supposed to “move on” from that?
I don’t understand why you want him to “fight for the relationship” or explain himself. His actions are crystal clear. He knows what he did is inexcusable and that’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it or try to explain himself.
Just walk away. You don’t trust the guy and frankly he is not deserving of your trust! There’s no need for you to try to confront him or get some kind of explanation out of him. Start the new year fresh, without drama, just cut him off and move on.
Tallspicy
A better question you should be asking is why you are not emotionally healthy enough to be dating. Any person who would read the story and not recoil and tell the guy to F off needs some deep therapy. Please stop looking at what he’s doing and whether or not he’s fighting and do your work for why you would find this OK in anyway. That means continuing to engage with him. Until you understand that you will not be able to be in a healthy relationship
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