Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › How would you describe a guy who says these kinds of things to you?
- This topic has 20 replies and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by
Liz Lemon.
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Vicky
– My kids are pigs…
– Kids are a pain…
– You could have just lied! (in regards to a difficult situation I was facing)
– I have lost my sense of empathy
– You should do that exercise… (implying my legs are not fit)
– Nice!!! (This was his response when I told him someone insulted me)
– My mission in life is to travel (I thought he would say something about being a good father…)
– people who drive semi trucks are riff raff, or red necks
– Hotels that charge high fees do so to eliminate the riff raff people
– my ex used to be size zero and now she’s fat
– You’ll get the short end of the stick there
– You have no idea how cheap I am
– Just play the system!
– My phone is dying (when I called him out on a lie he told)
– I left my shoes at home and can’t go in the store to buy wine as promised, so can you go buy it?So on and so forth… These are all phrases that came out of his mouth. How would you describe this guy?
Newbie
You are the one dealing with this guy and kept dealing with this guy so this is more a question about how you would describe this guy?
Is he someone you collect quotes from?Vicky
Thanks! I would describe these kinds of phrases as first (early) stages of emotional abuse and him as a narcissist. However, I’m very curious to know what other people think as well. Never a bad idea to get advice before taking action, or draw conclusions. Thank you for your input!
Raven
You already know the answers…
Why are you still engaging with him?!Persephone
Um, I wouldn’t waste another breath on him- forget actual words. Next!
Erin
Sounds like you’re dating Donald Trump
Erin
“Thanks! I would describe these kinds of phrases as first (early) stages of emotional abuse and him as a narcissist”
Sweetie, he’s just a jerk and a vile human being. Most narcissists are actually smart because they are calculating, this one has zero IQ.
Never a bad idea to get advice before taking “action, or draw conclusions”
You should be running for cover and putting a Chinese wall between you and this fella at this point. Don’t negotiate with terror*sts 🤣🤣
JnL
This isn’t about him, this is about you.
“What do you call a person who stays with a man who says these things?”
Newbie
Look i understand you dont like the answer. But this is not about slapping a label on a guy we dont know but why you need confirmation about this obvious gigantic pig of a guy. If i meet a guy like that, im taking a shower and move on
Newbie
Donald Trump lol, very true
Vicky
Thank you so much!!!
Vicky
You all made me laugh with tears!!!
I’ve moved on a while ago when these kinds of words started to pop up, slowly but surely intensifying in frequency. So… we’re NOT together anymore!
But still, I thought I’d post this here to get other people’s takes as well as learn from the experience of knowing this clown.AngieBaby
Vicky -not meaning to be unkind, if someone is saying these kinds of things you don’t need “advice” or other input to figure out pretty quick he’s an a-hole and you need to walk away immediately unless you enjoy being abused. Nor do you need to waste your time or anyone else’s sharing this BS. Trust yourself enough to act on what you plainly observe.
AngieBaby
If you broke up a long time ago, then why are you dredging this up?? Sounds like you’re not over it. There’s nothing to “learn” from studying a-holes!!
Maddie
Sounds like an angry and entitled person with low empathy. Doesn’t mean he’s a narcissist, but he has some narcissistic traits and doesn’t sound pleasant to spend lots of time with. He’s not someone who will make your life easier or enjoyable. Don’t continue to give him your brain space if you’ve left it behind.
Vicky
Maddie, you’re so spot on! That’s exactly how he is.
The other people who commented are correct, too.
The only reason I’m thinking/posting about is because I want to ensure I learn from this experience and never allow myself to be in this situation again. One bad trait of mine is that I always give people way too many chances, even when I sense the red flags early on, I still tell to myself: “that just can’t be possible!” At this time I was pretty quick at figuring his character out, just a few weeks, but in hindsight he was giving me some of these vibes/red flags from the very beginning except that I kept doubting whether I understood correctly, or thought that maybe I was overly cautious. Well, as we can all agree, I should have listened to my gut right away and not wait for more confirmations from him.Donna
Did he say that all in one night?
Newbie
Maybe he was taking the class ‘restroom poetry’
Vicky
@Newbie – – – LOL!
@Donna, no, these phrases came all at different times, sometimes days/weeks apart through text, by phone and sometime in person. These words stuck with me, though, because everytime he said something like this my heart would sink… don’t know why.
Liz Lemon
Since you’re trying to learn from this experience: yes, always listen to your gut. When you first meet a guy, they are (or should be) on their best behavior. That is, they should be trying to impress you. From what you just posted, you said these comments happened within a few weeks. Any guy who is talking this way that early on, just know that it’s all downhill from there. Don’t feel obligated to give a guy second, or third, or fourth chances when you see enormous red flags.
Liz Lemon
Example: My bf can have a sarcastic sense of humor at times. I can too, so we get along great. But when I first met him, he was very careful to keep the sarcasm reined in. He was not sarcastic on our first few dates. As we got to know each other better, we were able to develop a dynamic where we could tease and be sarcastic with each other. That’s an example of a man keeping something in check that could possibly offend a woman because he wants to make a good impression. Once we got closer, he would make small sarcastic comments and I would laugh and run with it, which is how he knew it was OK to be sarcastic with me. But if he had been really sarcastic with me on our 1st or 2nd date, for example, I would have thought he was an a$$hole. So people keep themselves in check if they want to impress another person. This guy wasn’t doing that, so that tells you something.
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