This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Omg 6 months, 1 week ago.
July 18, 2019 at 6:11 pm #757439
Guy here. My ex GF used to go on this site so thats how I found out about this. Dont have alot of female friends so not many people I can ask. I’m almost 40 and my ex GF amanda is 32. This all happened mid-Dec 2018.
I dated a girl last year for about 8 months. Let’s call her Amanda. She was amazing – we never fought, laughed a lot, best relationship I was ever in. However I still hadnt said I loved her. One day she brought up the future and all that stuff and I didnt know what to say. I couldn’t commit. So I pulled away from her for about a week. During our relationship I had still kind of kept the door open with an ex GF from 3 years ago – we can call her Hannah. We didnt talk much but I did like her instagrams here and there and she ended up following me halfway into the relationship. I realized I might still have feelings for her so I ended up Amanda I had been thinking about Hannah lately. She was pretty blindsided bc I never mentioned Hannah before.
Hannah and I dated 3 years ago and we broke up and got back together about 4 times. I told Amanda I needed some space to get my thoughts together. Over Christmas and New Years, I was talking to Hannah quite a bit and even saw her at one point just to see why feelings were still there. I selfishly wasnt thinking about Amanda during this time and after about a week and a half of not reaching out she texted me saying she guesses we are done. I call her and say I need more time, please lets figure it out. Eventually I decide I’m still not sure and break it off.
During this time I tried to figure things out with Hannah but it just wasnt working. so around March we ended it once and for all. Im embarassed to say I sent Amanda a drunk text in March, she didnt respond. Finally in April I get the courage to ask her if I can talk to her through text over a regret I have. She says she wants to just keep moving on. The next day I email and ask if she can please see me in person so I can apologize and I regret my decision – she still said no and asked me not to contact her anymore. I ended up walking over to her office hoping she would just come downstairs and ended up running into her on her way out of work (crazy I know). She asked what i was doing there and i told her i regret everything, people break up and get back together all the time over way worse things, i want to spend the rest of my life making it up to her, and i love her. She said she thinks she cant trust me anymore and starts crying. And said she needs time. 2 days later I texted her and asked if we can continue our conversation bc it means everything to me, she got super mad saying I’m being pushy and this is just done and blocked me. I’ve tried to reach out over the past few months but I’m blocked. I ended up emailing her saying she should stop being so stubborn and I would love to make it up to her.
I dont get why she thinks just blocking this out of her life is going to make things easier. I know if she just gave me a chance I could make it right. What can I do here to make it better? I’m at a loss.July 18, 2019 at 6:19 pm #757444
You got what you asked for…July 18, 2019 at 6:31 pm #757445
Don’t really think that’s the case. I realize my mistake and am so sorry for it.July 18, 2019 at 6:38 pm #757446
Leave her alone!!! whats wrong with you.July 18, 2019 at 6:53 pm #757447
You “blindsided” (your word) Amanda & shattered her trust. From what you wrote, there was no reason whatsoever for doing what you did. You said it was the best relationship you had been in but you ruined it anyway.
To be honest you sound like a self-centered jerk. You selfishly only thought of yourself, which destroyed your relationship; and now you’re still selfishly only thinking of yourself, when Amanda has made it clear she wants nothing to do with you.
Leave Amanda alone. What you’re doing is stalking and harassment.July 18, 2019 at 7:07 pm #757450
Some real broken ‘men’ in here lately. How’s that possible?July 18, 2019 at 8:39 pm #757453
Some really bitchy useless “women” here lately, how is that possible?July 18, 2019 at 9:05 pm #757454
It didnt work out with your first choice then suddenly you are in love with second option?
What a looser. Leave the girl aloneJuly 18, 2019 at 9:14 pm #757455
Agree with people here. You can’t dump someone for another and then try to win them back after being dumped by your first choice. It’s not niceJuly 18, 2019 at 10:59 pm #757461
Guys do this all the time.. You need to understand once you do this to a woman she loses any trust she ever had in you and doesn’t want to chance EVER being hurt by you again..
What a dumb move you made. You blindsided a woman who was crazy about you, hurt her deeply, and NOW want her back??
Men need to quit making such stupid moves. You had a jewel, but NO.. The grass might be greener elsewhere.. How stupid!July 18, 2019 at 11:40 pm #757464
Joe, right now you’re behaving very immaturely. Which is natural as I”m sure you’re young. There’s nothing wrong with being immature, you have to be before you can become mature. So this right here is a maturing experience for you, if you will allow it to be.
You’re acting like a little kid who wants a toy. He wants that toy and nothing else matters. He got the toy, then another toy looked interesting so he put the first one down to play with the second toy, but he got bored and now the first toy looks good again… but it’s not right there for him, so he has to go chase it. And he’s sure he really wants it. Because little kid only wants things he can’t have. Once he has it, well, the fun is kinda gone.
You’re only thinking of yourself and not of Amanda as a person. You only want what you want because it’s not available now. Thing is, she’s a human being not a toy.
To be with another human in a successful and happy relationship, you have to love and respect her. Love means you want what’s best for the other person, even if it isn’t you.
Do you truly love Amanda? Then let her go free and stop trying to possess her like she’s a toy. Send her one more message, tell her you made a giant mistake out of immaturity, you see what you did wrong and you’re very sorry. You love her and want to make it up to her and be with you… but if that is not what she wants you will understand and respect that and only wish her the very best. Say that you’ve learned and you will not ever again treat a woman the way you treated her and you thank her for helping you learn a valuable lesson. You hope she will find someone worthy of her who she will be happy with.
Really mean it. Then shut up and go away. Do it because it’s the right thing to do. There is a small chance she will come back on her own if you aren’t tugging on her to get her for your own purposes and give you a chance. But honestly, it’s not likely. You have to accept that. When you do, you will have grown into a man and the right woman, maybe Amanda or not, will come into your life.July 19, 2019 at 12:42 am #757478
I agree with all of the ladies-plus you were happy with Amanda-so what the h&ll were you thinking,going back to a girl you had broken up with and got back together with 4 TIMES!? An off and off relationship like that is never going to work out.
I think you have issues with commitment and are emotionally unavailable and Amanda is smart to avoid you. Go get some therapy for your issues and leave Amanda alone and learn a lesson!July 19, 2019 at 8:53 am #757501
Better off single
I dont get why she thinks just blocking this out of her life is going to make things easier.
I’ll break that down for you.
It will be easier once you leave her alone. If it didnt work out the first 4 times (probably because of the other woman, yes?) It wont work out a 5th time. A new woman (or the same one) will come along because you aren’t satisfied or bored. She wants to move on. Every time you show up, it opens a wound.July 19, 2019 at 10:05 am #757510
Wow. This site has really turned into a garbage dump. People who are hurting and who have made mistakes in relationships are posting here for advice, comfort, etc. And all anyone does anymore is insult and dismiss them. WestEndGirl is the only one who have any kind of help – and without calling the OP names or judging him. I’d never post a question here and it’s not worth coming here to read to learn anything these days.July 19, 2019 at 10:11 am #757513
Probably because many of these new threads are just made up stories. Very few men post on here, so when you get an influx of men supposedly posting, as we have lately it doesn’t make sense. And lovelee, never seen your handle before. Instead of complaining what sound advice do you have for this supposed man?