how to get a ghoster back


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  • This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by Newbie.
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  • #786723 Reply
    Bella

    Hey gals, can anyone pls help me out? I’ve been ghosted after a big fight with my guy. we met on tinder and hit something off after and had been dating and doing regular sleepover for 6 months. Last time after we had a big fight, we ended up sleeping and cuddling that night. And the next morning he gave me a hug and said catch up some time next week. It’s been almost two weeks now and i had tried to reach him. “Hey how are you?” he said “i’m good and you?” “I’m doing okay, wanna catch up tonight?” and then, i’ve been ghosted for almost a week and it rarely happened before. His fb status is always “active” and i’m pretty sure he had seen the message. My feelings got hurt so much and i cried a lot and got scared a lot. I really like him, what should i do to get him back? plssss help me……. or is this a break up thing?

    #786726 Reply
    lane

    First, he has not “ghosted you!” Men are not “ghosts” they are ALIVE, have a heart beat, a body, and are living human beings! He is still responding to your texts so he has fingers too.

    Second, he is not your BF or husband! He’s someone you had some sexy time with that became unsexy. He has no desire to engage in another unsexy argument with you again.

    Lastly, break this off as its not doing YOU any good! When you reach the point you have a big argument with your NSA/FWB it means you’ve reached the end. This was always “temporary” so you shouldn’t be angry when it comes to its end and continued to live in la la land by refusing to accept it—reality is now hitting you pretty hard. This is the hard cold consequence (life lesson) of keeping up a sham (non relationship) far longer than it was meant or intended to go.

    #786728 Reply
    K

    Did you ever have an exclusivity discussion? Just wondering. Not that it makes it OK to just disappear after 6 months of dating.

    And would you please share your age? I ask because you sound like a little girl with serious abandonment issues. “My feelings got hurt so much and i cried a lot and got scared a lot.” That’s how children talk. I’m not trying to shame you. I’m concerned for you because those are words a healthy, mature adult wouldn’t use when someone stopped speaking to them or left their life abruptly.

    #786737 Reply
    redcurleysue

    Mentally say “boo” to the ghost. He is not the “one” for you – you deserve better and waste time and energy on this guy.

    #786738 Reply
    Raven

    Why would you want someone back who has such disrespect for you?

    #786746 Reply
    T from NY

    Screw dudes who don’t return your texts. Dig deep down into your being and pull out your courage to be alone. He doesn’t deserve you if he can’t even properly tell you y’all aren’t dating anymore. I hope he was your bf – after 6 months – but if he wasn’t that’s just another good reason to get the hell out.

    #786730 Reply
    Bella

    Hey K, we had a discussion about what are we. And he was like he didnt want to go into a relationship but he felt like he was commiting. I’m pretty chill about either boyfriend girlfriend or FWB. I definitely like him more because he is my first sexual partner and we have lots of emotional connections. i feel like we are something in between bf gf and FTW and that confused us a lot.

    I’m sorry i sounded very naive and silly. And yes,I’m 21 and he is my first (hes 27) and i put lots of feelings in even tho i try not to. He treated me like s**t, e.g. 3 days ago he said we shouldnt see each other anymore and then the next morning he said lets catch up next week. I got scared and cried because i was afraid that he would leave me when he was ghosting me

    #786731 Reply
    Bella

    Hey Lane, yes we did meet on tinder but it doesnt mean it couldnt develop a serious relationship or connection with someone. Love is love and it is real. I think we are something in between bf gf and FTW and thats why it always confused us. I”ve seen his mum, his friends. We talk, we cook together, eat together and go out together. He said he doesnt mind being labeled bf but he doesnt like commiting. I’m 21 and he’s 27. I dont know what kind of relationship we are, and we do have feelings on each other, obviously i put more in and thats why i emotionally get hurt a lot.

    if love could be defined by commitment, then every mf**ers could leave a person without a proper explanation? what if a man has been in a relationship with his partner for 18 years, and he could leave that person one day without any explanations just because there is no legal bond/marriage? whats wrong with this world then?

    #786801 Reply
    ANM Staff
    Keymaster

    Hi Bella, welcome to the forums! I hope our community can help you out.

    A couple of your posts got caught-up in the filters due to cussing. I took care of it! Please try to avoid swearing in the posts – certain search engines get all nervous when they see that. ;)

    Best wishes!

    #786828 Reply
    Newbie

    Hi Bella, this guy is not treating you well or being consistent. I dont think that will change. I hope you can say goodbye to this guy emotionally and move on. If you stay stuck with these type of guys years can fly by and you end up with nothing

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