Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › How slow is to slow
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 9 months ago by
Katie.
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Katie
So I’ve been seeing this guy for about 5 weeks, and we’ve gone on 7 dates. We get along really well, communication is good. He text me every morning when he gets up, we FaceTime most nights, but nothing has gone past kissing. I’m not one to be the one to make moves, but I feel like this guy is waiting for me to make the move to progress things. Nothing hot and heavy and as soon as I think it starts to go that way he stops and kisses my forehead or pulls me in close to him. I’ve never had a potential relationship Start out like this so it’s throwing me for a loop.
Angel
A possible reason might be a problem ‘in that department’. I once had a relationship where the guy had an injury ‘there’ believe it or not and sex for him was painful and it took him some effort to open up to me about this before we could move things forward. I think letting some more time pass to allow him to open up and things will get clarified naturally over time? x
T from NY
Things seem to be progressing nicely – date consistency and communication – wise. If you really like him continue to spend time with him. Also – if you’re looking for long term and not just casual – it’s best to be exclusive before sex (though of course that doesn’t guarantee anything it sure does help weed out the men not wanting anything serious) Then, it he locks you down as his girlfriend and still does not progress things physically – at a moment that seems natural – maybe as he puts a halt to your make out session – you could tell him how attracted you are to him and in a light, easy going, soft tone, make an observation that you’ve noticed he stops things from progressing further. Then just say – “Can you speak to me about that?” Then be very quiet. Men just have to have space and not feel pressure and a lot of times they will open up.
Also consider. Dating is getting to know a man. To determine their character but also if you feel they could make you happy. If theres a chance he has difficulties sexually – contemplate your patience for that. It’s awful to say – but I’ve reached an age and stage where it would possibly be a deal breaker for me. Always figure out what’s best for you. Good luck!
Vera
Hi,
I’ve been in situations like this before, maybe once or twice in my life .
Basically , dating a guy who doesn’t seem interested in advancing physically despite multiple dates.
Turns out something was wrong in that department as someone else mentioned . After I gently questioned them, one said he’s not super sexual . Another said he’s just nervous . I kept dating them awhile longer but it became more and more clear that nothing was changing . Dealbreaker for me !Phoebe
Could also be a virgin… It does happen…
Katie
Thanks for the input it’s honestly really appreciated. I have no problem at all taking things slow, I’m enjoying getting to know him, and I myself am not one to sleep with a guy before we’re something or in a committed relationship. I guess in this world I’m just so used to men wanting more right away, and that might be more my fault in the guys I’ve gone after or been with in the past. I just don’t want to get in my head thinking that he’s not physically interested in me. I will keep in mind and just see where things go and hopefully he’ll feel comfortable opening up to me soon.
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