How do I know if he just wants sex?

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Algo 6 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #683411 Reply


    Hi all

    So I posted a few days ago, re a man I have met online. We first started talking about a month ago, moved on to telephone convo and then video chats. He cancelled the first two dates due to sickness. The third (actual first) date he took me out to dinner and paid for everything, real gent. Second date he cooked dinner at his. I ended up staying over, didn’t have sex as I stated I want to get to know him better before any of that. Since I left, he’s been texting, but not as often as he did. And if I’m honest about all of this, right from the start, his messages have been quite sexual. He was very eager to sleep with me on the second date.
    I do like him, but I don’t want that to cloud my judgement. So I thought if he invites me over again to suggest maybe meeting somewhere for dinner and after that me driving home. I have a feeling if I do that, he won’t take me up on it, or will cancel. Then I know for sure, right? Advice please…

    #683420 Reply


    Don’t have sex with him if you’re not ready.

    #683422 Reply


    i don’t know… to me i didn’t have sex with my boyfriend for 3 months some might say “oh he was getting it else” and that’s because usually people on this forum are negative… that’s besides the point.

    usually the longer you wait (not too long) the more respect they will have for you. my bf never pressured me to have sex with him until i was ready. sure he would ask but i would tell him i’m just not ready yet. and he would do other things such as oral.

    #683426 Reply


    Just assume a guy will always go for easy sex. Most guys have no urge to get into a relationship unless they really fall in love. That takes some time to develop and has not much to do with sex but more with developing an emotional bond.
    This guy started of flaky and got you into a home date the second date. So its two dates and you can savely assume he has zero feelings for you. So sit back and see if he takes you out again.

    #683428 Reply


    Yea I’d date someone else given the situation. He rescheduled twice on lame excuses…you can’t prove or disprove he was sick but still, yo have it happen twice is off putting. They do have medicine you can take to get you through things like work and a meet up, even just a coffee one for an hour.

    The 2nd date @ home should have been the red flag for sexy time. You held your own, good for you!! But that will be worn down on time.

    Guys that ask for home dates like that so quickly are motivated and creating the environment for their motivation in my opinion. Up to you what you seek out of the relationship.

    #683440 Reply


    I think suggesting going out is a great idea. Its still really early on and the home dates seem a bit lazy to me.

    If he doesn’t go for it, well there you have it.

    #683442 Reply


    I agree. Suggest you go out. If he suddenly can’t make it, you know what he wants.

    From what you said, he doesn’t sound like a good bet at the moment.

    #683465 Reply


    If you noticed a change after you refused him the second date it is a red flag.
    See what will he propose the next date: if he offers to go out and try to know more about you, then you can offer him a second chance. However, if he offers you to watch a movie or coming at his place again and have sex with you then move on, he doesnt care and only wants your butt.
    If he leaves you or makes you guilty because you dont give your body, then dump him, because he would have left you ANYWAY.
    To me, if he started sexting you since the beginning, it means he only looks for that, I’m sorry but its better to know, please dont waste your time, I’ve been there

    #683469 Reply


    BTW if he cancel another date again, it means he has no respect for you and your time. Never contact him again if he does this

    #683481 Reply


    In the future I wouldn’t go on home dates if you’re not or sure he’s not looking into that or sure you want to have sex with him.

    A woman who agressió to a home date early on, sort of sends the signal she might be open to sex, so it’s not weird he’d try.

    Just stay in public until you get a better scope of each other. Also safer, you don’t know this man, don’t let him trap you in his house.

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