Horrible Situation


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    Shazel

    Hi ladies please no harsh responses I know this is isn’t a great situation and I’m really hurt right now. My BF and I were together for 3.5 years for the past year things have been difficult. In JAN. I asked him to leave my home I have done that quite a lot in our relationship and I know I was wrong. However our breakups wouldn’t last more than a day. We really loved each other or so I thought. In APRIL I found out he was lying to me ….the incident came about when he asked me to pick him up from his parents house. When I got there I was waiting outside bec I told him I wasn’t going in due to Covid. A girl came out she asked me if I was his girlfriend and I said yes. I asked her who she was and she laughed nervously and said she was his girlfriend so I asked for how long and she said she didn’t know and I asked how long they were sleeping together and she said they weren’t sleeping together ..he came out at that point and pretty much told her to get out of my face and back away. He was in my car trying to explain but I didn’t let him told him to leave me alone. He later apologized and said that yes he was using her car (I didn’t let him use mine) and that it was wrong that he was embarrassed but he was desperate due to certain situations. He told me the girl was drunk and that she even offered to apologize, so I asked him for her phone number but he said he doesn’t have it anymore and he hasn’t spoken to her. He said that he did not sleep with her and had no feelings for her. I told him regardless it’s still cheating and deceitful. I told him she said she was his girlfriend and he said she was not and that he didn’t know she felt that way. I said she definitely must’ve given him some indication that she liked him. I told him I needed time but he continued to text me and asked to see me several times since the incident. I allowed him to come a few times even brought me flowers. I’ve tried to figure out if this is a relationship I would like to continue. However I feel he may still be lying to me ….he was texting all the time but wasn’t really calling me (I wasn’t picking up his calls in the beginning but once we spoke I felt he should’ve been calling). He has been calling me for the past week since he found work. He told me he hasn’t returned to his parents house but he hasn’t asked to come back to my house despite all his belongings being here including his car (doesn’t work).
    I am torn between is he still seeing this girl or is he really telling the truth about wanting to be with me. He tells me that with me kicking him out all those times did affect him and that he felt I didn’t feel the same about him after all his failures. He is correct in that I have felt a bit different towards him because of the financial problems. I know I made mistakes but I don’t trust him anymore and I don’t feel like he’s making it easier. He doesn’t really tell me where he’s staying all the time and I can’t help but feel like he’s hiding something. I asked him if he was living with someone and he said NO. I know I should’ve taken more time and not seen him after this happened. Through out our relationship he’s been a caring and loving man. He has asked me to marry him multiple times and we always talk about the future. I did pull away at times, by not wanting to be around his family because they drink heavily despite him loving to be around his and my family. I know where this girl works and have contemplated asking her but not sure if that is a good idea? I’ve also thought about telling him that I am able to contact her so if there is something he’s hiding to tell me. Any advice please I just want to know the truth and if I don’t get it I guess go with my gut feeling. I just don’t think he will stop trying and it hurts me because I do love him.

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