He’s messed up from past relationships


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  • This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by Luna.
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  • #788372 Reply
    Sian

    Bf dumped me because I wanted a serious relationship and I guess he didn’t. He dumped me via text message after 6 months of courting. I didn’t reply to his text primarily due to wanting to let go, heal, process & start my life without him. I still haven’t made contact nor have I responded to being dumped. I haven’t removed him from any social media, I’ve literally just reclaimed all my power & vanished from him life, no dramas. Today he texts me again to proclaim he cares for me so much, wants to know I am ok, wants me to know I can turn to him for anything & he will help me. He then says he can’t date anyone because he’s messed up from past relationships & wants me to know he won’t date anyone until his head is clear.

    1. Is this him telling me he is still into his ex or exs?
    2. Why is he opting to clarify he isn’t dipping into the dating scene? Is this so that he hopes I follow suit, keep myself unavailable to new interests & he can fallback on me if he can’t find or do better?

    #788375 Reply
    Zoe

    Ignore his BS
    What a coward!

    #788376 Reply
    Tallspicy

    Who knows and honestly who cares? Yawn. You can turn to him? For what? This is not – I messed up and want you back.

    This guy is a mess. You handled it beautifully, but next time remove him (people have to earn access). You getting back together would not change that.

    However, if you must respond:

    “Thank you bob for reaching out, and I am sorry you are struggling. While I appreciate your offer, I am only interested in being in contact if we are building something together. If and when you are interested in that, give me a call (texting is not for real conversations). Until then I wish you the best and good health in these hard times”

    Then assume it is done unless he picks up the darn phone.

    #788377 Reply
    Jo

    He was hoping and expecting you would be crying, pleading etc. Your cool response has dented his ego and now he’s prodding you trying to get from you how upset you are. DO NOT ENGAGE. Just ignore him unless you want this to drag on. I would block him. I really wouldn’t say anything that suggests the door could ever open again under any circumstances or he will try to e-tether you.

    #788379 Reply
    Newbie

    Yeah he is baffled by your silence. I chuckled a bit i admit. Answer, not answer but keep in mind it was his idea to break up not yours. Take care

    #788381 Reply
    Jo

    I want to add good for you for handling it so well. You sound like a strong person with good boundaries and strong self esteem.

    #788386 Reply
    Dutchiii

    I don’t know but I’m so proud of you,wow…

    Please keep your class and never ever respond to that looser again .

    You’re such a QUEEN.

    #788389 Reply
    T from NY

    I agree!! That was a serious BOSS move.
    Silence is sometimes so loud. You should be proud. And ignore all his damn texts. He’s just sniffing around trying to make YOU make HIM feel better for dumping you. Buh-bye

    #788391 Reply
    K

    How long was it between him dumping you by text and then contacting you again with this message?

    Everyone on this site can learn from you. Ending it by text was a loser move and it didn’t deserve to be acknowledged with a response. You’ve just proved that dead silence is a more powerful tool than any words. Good for you for being so strong and wise and valuing yourself enough to just MOA.

    I laughed and thought, yeah, cry me a river, when I read what he wrote to you. He’s just seeing if you’re still interested at all. And yes he’s looking for a back-up plan. Entirely his issue if he isn’t over past relationships, he didn’t need to share that info with you.

    You’ve absolutely baffled him. Baffle him some more – it’s time to go ahead and delete and block on social media and your phone because there’s no recovering from ending it by text after 6 months of dating and then writing a lame text like this.

    #788393 Reply
    Luna

    My bf is losing interest in me. He said that he’s no more excited when we talk. And that really really hurt me a lot. I asked him why. He said it’s because of what i said to him.

    He is a very jealous boy because he has been cheated in his past relationship. He said that me, talking to other boys, hurts him. I promised him before that i would try to lessen talking to other boys because i don’t want him to get hurt. But then recently, i talked to some boys but they were just my friends and we talked nothing serious. That is also one of the reasons why he is losing interest in me right now. I don’t know what to do. I kept chasing him. I’m avoiding other boys too. And i kept messaging him. But his replies are really really cold.

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