He's become distant and withdrawn…

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  kaye 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #757194 Reply


    My best guy friend of 3.5 years ( We are more than friends and tell eachother we love each other) has been acting very distant on and off for about 6 weeks. He had surgery in June and has been off work and hasn’t been able to do his daily activities (sports, work, etc.) We usually talk every day or at least every other day even if its minimal texting. Lately I just feel he’s so far and distant. We talked on Thursday and I brought it up to him. He says hes just going thru one of his phases. I know that hes does has episodes of feeling sad and depressed and now with this injury I can only imagine his depression getting worse. I guess my question is how long can a man retrieve to his so called “cave” and be distant and withdrawn. Does anyone else has any insight on past experiences like this. Men are so complicated or am i just over reacting and being needy! He still tells me he loves me, if anything more than he used to but now we go 3 or 4 days with no contact and it stresses me out!! His kids are off for summer break and I know hes been spending all of his time with them but I cant help but stress out. (My brain sucks!)

    #757199 Reply


    Let him have some space to spend time with his kids and heal.

    He’s already told you what’s going on, so pushing him to communicate won’t help.

    During this time just focus on yourself, so you’re not tempted to pester and crowd him.

    #757214 Reply


    All this stress and worry for a man who’s not even your boyfriend???

    #757221 Reply


    He’s not even your man, RELAX.

    #757228 Reply


    I’m confused about what this is that you gave.

    You seem invested in a way that implies romantic attachment- is that right? This is way more than a friend post.

    Maybe he’s feelings for someone or starting up something with someone? You know you can’t carry this on in this state forever right?

    #757250 Reply


    Your post is confusing. Are you romantically and physically involved with him? Or are you just saying I love you as friends? I mean I have good friends I’ve known since grade school I say that to when I’m getting off the phone but it means nothing more than I love them as a friend.

    Men are not women. When they are feeling down and depressed they do retreat to their man cave and the best thing to do is to let them know you are there if they need to talk but give them the space they need. He is not your boyfriend and you know what is going on with him so why are you worried he’s distant? You are overreacting and being needy so not sure why you can’t go a few days not talking to someone who isn’t your boyfriend as the others have said. If you are this wound up over a guy who isn’t committed to you after 3.5 years then you really need to take this time to wean yourself off him too. This sounds like an unhealthy attachment you have.

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