HELP…What do I do…


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  • #826332 Reply
    Leanne

    Hi kalyn
    Your advice is what my friends are saying. That I couldn’t figured out a way to introduce my parents to him. And I could’ve posted the ring out of excitement. Truth is I wasn’t excited. I felt anxiety. Because he’s not in any state to marry anyone. And I need to see some changes (before the drinking) to really be excited. And before he gave me the ring he asked “how do you feel about marriage,” and I answered him honestly that the entire thing stresses me out. I had also told him two months ago to hold off on the ring for some time because I wasn’t near ready. So he didn’t take any of that into account. When I finally posted him on fb, 1.5 years after knowing him, I got so much attention it felt nice. But that SAMT DAY he calls me drunk and immediately regretted it. So I won’t be posting about the ring. In fact I’ve taken it down.

    Here’s an update: we spoke Thursday he wasn’t drunk but sounded very sick coughing. I explained what he is doing isn’t acceptable and I won’t see him for some time. He apologized. Had me not to cry which of course I wept. And then had to go use the bathroom so he hung up. During the convo he mentioned how I had him on the phone For an hour and I need to be nicer. He hangs up texts me more apologies, I barely answer. No matter how drunk or sick he never leaves me on read. He’s continuing to do that. He texts me yesterday at 145pm. I respond hours later because I was working. He leaves my response on leave since 6pm last night. This just isn’t him. He will text and call no matter how angry. He’s up at 6 am no matter how drunk. I’m starting to worry but I’m torn.

    We share locations and I see he hasn’t gone anywhere. He’s home. And he wouldn’t leave his phone while driving someplace because he needs the GPS. So I don’t know what to do.

    And yes Kalyn I believe he’s never touch me. I’ve been w men who I can tell were or had the propensity to be physically abusive. Not my guy. But emotional is bad enough.

    This fiasco continues. And I’m seriously starting to not care about the holidays at all…

    #826340 Reply
    Newbie

    I dont really understand your goal in recent communications with him but im guessing youre torn about what to do. I think most of us stated our opinions based on what we know of alcoholics. With me it was my mom, and she wasnt only an alcoholic but also a narcissist. A sweet narcissist but really it was always about what everybody did to her Meanwhile creating a Total mess around her. Im not bitter about it, but im telling because i see your guy doing the same already. Even if he was disappointed about your reaction about the ring, no normal man handles that by spiralling in a week of binge drinking. I think it would be nice if you said to him, he needs to work on his issues to get his life back in control and you feel you cant help doing that. He has to do it for himself. All the best

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