Help me find out what happened here please!


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Help me find out what happened here please!

This topic contains 87 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Crisula 2 days, 19 hours ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 88 total)
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  • #746079 Reply

    Dee

    So I’ve posted about this guy last week, I was doubtful how distant he has been this last week.

    Well things are getting extremely bad.
    He hasn’t reach out to me since Friday.

    And I am clinging on because I feel I am partly to blame.

    This our chat has been since Thursday when I notice things are going down hills.

    Thursday night 8:30
    Him: Hi (my nick name) how are you?
    Me: hiya babe, I’m good thanks, hope you’re well.
    Him:I’m good just here at home from work relaxing.
    Me:okay

    Friday: morning
    Him: good morning to you (nickname)
    Me: to you too babe x

    And that was it I haven’t heard from since then. He works throughout the weekend and he is off today.

    So yesterday.
    I’ve messaged him.
    Me: hiya babe, hope you had good week of work x.
    Him: (he read my message and nothing and he has been active online since.

    I can help but blame myself. I know my messages were not interesting in him or maybe I seemed wasn’t interested in having chat with him.
    But come on almost 3 days of saying nothing to me, I don’t know what to do, it’s my fault, where can I go from him,
    Shall I message or call him again? Or leave him be?

    #746082 Reply

    Stephen

    Dee men always look for the reason someone is texting etc them. If there is no obvious reason for calling/texting Men will very quickly lose interest. From his point of view the first two texts were just chatter that is why he didn’t reply to your third text as he had worked out that you had nothing of importance to impart.
    Men don’t enjoy talking for the sake of if,there must be a clearly discernible reason for communicating. Women bond through talking,even when the conversation is about nothing. Men bond through shared activities even if a couple have said very little to each other during the activity.

    #746083 Reply

    Stephen

    He read your message and didn’t reply because it was just more of the same,that is you had no information to impart or want to find out. Also he didn’t reply because he had no information to pass on to you or find out about from you.

    #746084 Reply

    Dee

    Okay my messages did require reply but I was checking up on him, something he normally does but he didn’t even acknowledge it. What’s the point in being in relationship with someone you don’t check up on regularly.

    Since the beginning I’ve been cool with him, even the week we didn’t see each other because he was checking up on me.

    #746087 Reply

    Dee

    I don’t know if he is done with me or if he giving me the cold shoulder for some reason.

    Honestly if I was stronger than I am and didn’t have strong feelings for him I’ve been done with him.

    I’m just not brave and hate dating and starting again and it so hard for me to meet someone I like physically etc.

    #746089 Reply

    anon

    None of those texts lead anywhere. How do you respond to OK? That’s not a conversation. None of those are conversations. You said you aren’t interested in the guy, and he probably feels it. He probably feels the cold shoulder and is only marginally interested in you (and vice versa).

    Your next step is just to politely end it, preferably via phone (assuming you dated in person). I get that dating is not fun, but neither is stringing out a relationship where neither party is all that motivated.

    #746090 Reply

    Dee

    anon I am interested in him, I really really like being with him.
    Thinking of breaking things off with him hurts me.

    I do think he thinks I might not be interested in him very much.
    But then again, when we together it is amazing.
    And I’ve shown a lot times that I am serious about him.
    I’ve not said it in words but I’ve shown by action.
    He have told me by words he is serious about me.

    #746094 Reply

    Zoe

    Dee. He sounds like he has a low interest. Stop texting him.

    #746095 Reply

    anon

    Well, maybe you need to step up and have a conversation with him. There comes a point in every relationship where the guy is going to stop chasing and taking the lead. Have you ever asked to make plans with him? Called to say hello?

    If you feel like you need to be passive forever to keep a guys attention you are wrong. If it was me, I’d send him a text and say “hey, let’s get together Tuesday, I’ll make us dinner.” Give him something to respond to.

    #746096 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    Quit with the inane texting. Let him contact you for a date. He should be missing you and want to see you.

    If hes not making plans to see you, stop trying. Be sensible.

    #746099 Reply

    Dee

    See I’m conflicted, part of me says reach out and ask if he every thing is okay or even ask to see him?

    Part me of days, says don’t, you’ve reached out already, and as the man he should be asking to see you by now.

    But I guess the only way to know if he truly interested in me is to let him reach out and ask to see me?

    #746100 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    Of course he knows you are interested. If he sends you a hey how is your day going, I wouldn’t get too excited.

    That’s kinda just e tethering. If hes asking to see you, then you can legitimately feel hes still interested.

    Quit being so helpless and weak. Get busy, make plans, do something interesting or worthwhile on your own.

    Hes got all the power here. You’re waiting to get a clue if he still loves you.

    It’s not a good feeling. Quit letting him dictate your happiness.

    #746101 Reply

    anon

    How long have you been together? Guys do at some point get lazy, especially when you move from dating to in a relationship.

    #746104 Reply

    Dee

    I’m really trying to get buys, I’ve made plans for tonight so I don’t spend thinking about him.

    We have been together since August last year.

    #746105 Reply

    Raven

    I don’t understand…

    You two are in a bonafide relationship-
    Why don’t you talk to each other …?

    #746108 Reply

    Dee

    Rave- I don’t know things just been off lately

    #746113 Reply

    anon

    You have to brave up and chat.

    “Hey, you seem a little quiet lately. Miss how we used to chat more. You brighten my day”. Don’t go all in confrontational, just let him know you miss him. You have no idea what’s up, he could be busy with work, getting lazy about communication or thinking about moving on. If he is stil into you, he’ll step up or at least give you solid information.

    #746114 Reply

    Dee

    Anon I am tired of leading the relationship.

    I know if I am all sweet and nice to him, he will return it.

    #746115 Reply

    Dee

    Okay I will try it out, I will try out one more time, see how it goes.

    #746116 Reply

    Dee

    Okay I’ve send a nice sweet message so we will see 😔

    #746118 Reply

    Stephen

    Dee should put more substance into her texts. Ask for information for example. I wouldn’t go down the texting him ‘I miss our sense of connection’ route. More than likely he’ll translate that into:’you are insensitive loser who is not meeting my needs’.
    Men like to think that they bring something positive into a woman’s life. However if they start to get the feeling that they can’t win with a woman then the:’I am really busy with work babe’ excuses get brought out. Men know that this works with women because women believe that men,like women, get turned off by stress. However every single man alive knows that intercourse is the #1 stress buster par excellence!

    #746120 Reply

    Dee

    Lol Stephen you’re funny but good If me saying, I’ve missed him will translate into that, I do want him to know his lack of communication is not meeting my needs , I was gonna save that for face to face.

    #746125 Reply

    anon

    ” However every single man alive knows that intercourse is the #1 stress buster par excellence!”

    Hopefully they are also smart enough to know that good, consistent communication is the best path to sex.

    #746131 Reply

    Dee

    Well he got back to me, send 2 min voice note 🙄

    Like Stephen said he used his work has an excuse.

    Apologised for being “distant” I didn’t even use that work so he must be doing it on suppose.

    And he did say miss you too and will see you soon.

    I don’t even know what to say back to be honest.

    #746135 Reply

    Karen

    Nothing. He knows you want to see him and he’s avoiding it.

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