Heeeelp

This topic has 1 reply and was last updated 3 years, 8 months ago by Lane.

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August 11, 2020 at 5:31 pm #801487 Reply

Annie

So my fiancé moved out for a week or so to have some time apart. In that time I found out he downloaded tinder. He also went clubbing. Now he was the reason we needed time apart in the first place due to being unloyal.
We have 2 kids together and a mortgage and I was so happy before this.
Will I ever be able to get over the fact that he downloaded a dating site (he swore he never used it) but he still thought to download it. He probably did use it. What do I do ? How do I move on ? He should have been at home with me trying to get me back.
He says he wants to be with me but now after 2 incidents I’m so paranoid I’m going to get hurt yet again…

August 11, 2020 at 10:22 pm #801532 Reply

Lane

Ouch! Unfortunately there’s no magic answer other than to NOT beg, grovel, act desperate, or try to convince him of anything. The one thing I do know is that if the man is not fighting for the relationship then its pretty much doomed.

At this point, the best thing you can do is pull waaaaay back and start having some fun! Seriously, give him the kids for the week and tell him your taking a weekend trip with some of your *single* gal pals; and then take some me time while he gets to be single dad for a bit. Sometimes its too easy for couples to get *stuck in a rut* and taking some time to re-discover yourself again might be the antidote?

I know it really sucks when you have this much invested but sadly there’s no magic pill or formula to make a man do something as he has to want it more than you do. I know what having a mortgage and kids feels like. The one thing I wish I could *do over* in my 20+ year marriage would have been to have more *me time* (doing fun stuff for me) than a tired wife/mom. Maybe you shaking it up too will stir you back together?
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