He was so keen, now I'm confused?

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Andrea 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #742806 Reply


    Iv been on two dates with this guy, we had amazing chemistry and so many things in common. He was very clear saying he is looking for a relationship, said I was a breath of fresh air on the first date. He has always been pretty bad with texting, he only texted me twice after the first date and one was to set up the second date, then nothing from him for days until the day of our date. 2nd date was great, he ended up staying over and we slept together (he didn’t try at all but I kinda initiated it) and the next day we had breakfast and he said he can see himself in a relationship with me and started talking about going away together when his work contract finishes in a few weeks (I didn’t prompt any of that discussion!). He sent me a text straight after the second date but hasn’t initiated contact since. I sent him one text which he responded to and we talked a little but now nothing and its been 4 days since our last date. He works crazy hours 12 hr night shift at the moment and only has Saturday night off. I am so confused, is he not interested? Why did he say all that stuff to me if he isn’t interested (and even said it AFTER we had sex!?).

    #742808 Reply


    I think he ‘likes’ you..or maybe interested in seeing you again. But then again, he could be a player We’re only hearing your interpretation of the communication between you two.

    I feel you’re way more invested in him, than he is with you.

    This is key to all women with these contact issues

    It doesn’t matter if a guy works 24/7 ~ if he’s into a woman, he’ll take a few seconds to text or call her because she’s on his mind.

    “No message is a message”

    #742809 Reply


    Before you had that date you mentioned you were displeased with his amount of communication. I think because you two had sex you are thinking about things more.

    At this point its so early on that you have to let things play out. If he is interested in seeing you again he will get in touch.

    He may have said all that stuff just to because, but only time will tell if he is the real deal.

    If for some reason things don’t work out give yourself some time before you have sleep overs. Its a big step and doing it so early on leaves you with so many unanswered questions.

    #742821 Reply


    It seems like early sex comes with a lot of expectations on the female side for the ladies who post here. That doesn’t work. You don’t know who you’re dealing with yet when you jump into bed on the first few dates. It’s the rare woman who can really f*** like a man – enjoy it in the moment and walk away without attachment.

    The problem is you think that because you had sex with him, you’ve now got something going and he’s as interested in moving forward as you are. Not true a lot of the time. I’m sorry, but Crisula is right. It takes less than a minute to fire off a text, which an interested man will have no problem doing. No message IS a message, just not the one you want to hear. Doesn’t look like you can handle sex this soon. Next time, wait a while and watch to see actions matching words. Talk is beyond cheap, it’s free!!

    #742822 Reply


    Why are we all on the ‘he didn’t text for four days, he’s not interested’ boat? Is four days really that long of a time for the first two dates?

    Is this because she slept with him?

    #742823 Reply


    No one other than the OP said that.

    #742826 Reply


    “No message is a message”

    #742827 Reply


    o well sleeping together dint change his communication pattern. it is what it was prior. since you initiated the last time, if you message again you will come across as the keener party. I guess you simply have to wait for him to contact and going by his responses he seems ok not locking you down for another date soon. that’s why most ladies here suggest that you sleep with a man once you have got to know him a little more and his communication style. sleep this early with a man only if your fine with just a f^^k and can walk away the morning after without any expectations from the man. saves you lot of anxiety later. all the best and hope he contacts you.

    #742830 Reply


    To me this doesn’t look bad. He hasn’t changed his communication style after you’ve slept together so in his way he’s been consistent. I also don’t think that not texting all the time is an indication for disinterest. My boyfriend and I only texted to set up or confirm dates in the first couple of months and even now we don’t use the phone for much more than logistical stuff. I think it’s more important to pay attention to the actual time you spend together. Do you see each other regularly (we started out by going out about once to twice a week and that steadily increased over time), do you enjoy the time you have with him, is he attentive and respectful.. These things are a much better indicator of a person’s interest.
    As for sleeping together early on – it does seem to make you more anxious because you haven’t developed any “routines” yet so it might be better to take it slower in the future.
    I think you’ll hear from him! So try to relax and enjoy the time you spend with him rather than fret when you’re without him. Good luck!

    #742835 Reply


    “relax and enjoy the time you spend with him rather than fret when you’re without him”

    This is excellent advice for so many of the ladies on here!

    #742874 Reply


    You putting out on the second date probably lessened his enthusiasm for getting to know you. He may not have realized this initially.

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