He was sleeping around with women but talking of a future with me


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice He was sleeping around with women but talking of a future with me

This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lane 2 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #708783 Reply

    Ashley

    I had a very close guy friend! We had been speaking for over 6 months ans both knew we liked each other but had not made it official yet… however he had pictures of me on his wall paper and home screen on his phone!! We went out a few times and even held hands as a couple would! We have not slept together! Due to certain circumstances we haven’t been able to become an official couple and have had to put our relationship on hold for a few months! however we have both spoken about our plans for the future and wanting to get married to each other!
    He recently told me that just before we put a pause on our relationship he had “slept with a bunch of women” 😔
    I feel very decieved and hurt by this! How do i deal with this? So I forgive him as we were not official yet? When i asked if he was sleeping around while hebhad my pictures on his phone, he said yes! He says he has not had sex with anyone since then.
    But do I forgive him for decieving me and try to move past this? How do i handle it? Please anyone give me some advice! Please 😔

    #708804 Reply

    Hannah

    How did he deceive you? Did he tell you he wasn’t seeing anyone else?

    #708853 Reply

    kaye

    You have a close guy friend you’ve been talking to for 6 months but never made it official. You only went out a few times and for some reason haven’t been able to become an official couple and have the relationship on hold. I’m guess because one or both of you is still married. For someone you’re not even dating to be making future plans and talking about getting married is just that…TALK. Men who do this are called future fakers. When he said he’s slept with a bunch of women does he mean in his lifetime or while you two were talking for 6 months? Having your picture on his phone when you aren’t official means nothing. You weren’t official so I don’t see how you can be shocked he was sleeping with other women. For all we know he’s making excuses why you two can’t be in a relationship so he can still sleep with others. I wouldn’t even be entertaining a guy who I couldn’t be in an official relationship with and we had to be on hold.

    #708856 Reply

    peggy

    Yep-as Kaye says “He is all talk:. No real positive actions toward you and lots of negative ones. This guy is not your boyfriend or even your friend. I would just say no to all that.

    #708986 Reply

    Ashley

    Thanks! Neither one of us is married! Nor have we ever been. I’m 22 hes 21! Yep he slept with a bunch during the six months we had been chatting…

    #709573 Reply

    Kim

    Sweetheart I wouldn’t be friends or anything more with this guy. Turn the page and move on. You were chatting for 6 months. He obviously didn’t see it as exclusive. You only saw him a few times. Did you make it clear to him that you wanted to be exclusive? If not well that’s probably why he did that.

    With my current partner we started in a long distance relationship where we just chatting and FaceTimeing for a few weeks before he actually came to visit me to meet me in person properly. He went to visit his family in France a few weeks after that. While he was in France I actually went out on one date with another guy. I didn’t sleep with him mind you. I had only seen my current boyfriend in person once so we certainly hadn’t talked about exclusivity at that point. While he was in France he could’ve done the same thing for all I know. It wasn’t until he came back from France when we spoke a bit more and I went to visit him that I decided I probably shouldn’t be seeing anybody else. Sometimes it can evolve naturally to that, which is what happened. Other times you have to be clear about what you want.

    Secondly he’s 21. Most 21 year olds that I know are not ready to settle down and get married. You’re not long out of high school. Most are still studying and still trying to find out who they are. He’s behaving like a normal 21 year old male. If you want someone who is ready to be in a long term committed relationship date guys 25+. Even then it’s iffy. Until they get to 30 and then they panic that they won’t find anyone.

    #709580 Reply

    Lane

    I’m sorry but he’s a single man doing what young single men his age do—having lots of sex with lots of gals!

    He’s not close to settling down with one woman, because when a man is he ACTS like that man and would do nothing to hurt the woman he want’s to do that with! He’s in the ‘sowing his wild oats’ phase of life; enjoying his freedom and not ready to be tied down to one woman; why should he when he can enjoy a variety of them. There is nothing that will hold a man back from going after what he wants; and if he truly wanted that with you he would not be acting like a horny toad.

    I would NOT TOUCH this guy with a 10′ pole! He’s the OPPOSITE of a man ready to settle down. He’s tossing out ‘flowery words’ to add another notch on his belt (sexual conquest) as I’m sure he’s doing this with A LOT of women to get into their pants and then disappears! Do not talk to or date this man, if you do, he will have sex and then all of a sudden “be too busy” or just disappear and you’ll be an emotional mess.

    Do you have any good male role models, such as a father, older brother, uncle, grandfather? Men are a great judge of character and can help you navigate the dating minefield so you don’t get attached, or worse impregnated, by men like this.

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