This topic contains 33 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lo 7 months, 2 weeks ago.
October 23, 2017 at 2:41 pm #662029
Thank you, I mean… i have to agree with you…
we’ve been together for almost 3years…
he cant say he wonders why i flip out…. althought i do need to controll my reactions…
I know i can be a big PIA sometimes….or often maybe…. and i apologize for my krappy attitude, and may push him in that direction.
But what i’ve always wanted, was a guy, that only wanted me in his life (as a life partner) and not texting behind my back….like you said, in the relationship fully
I know this happened in the past, i’m trying to move forward….but it seems as though it keeps occurring, and may not end…. we spend every moment together…. but how many of those moments is he thinking or texting others ? like you said… hes not into it fully…
October 23, 2017 at 2:49 pm #662034
I agree with most that bad mouthing your ex especially a man doing it such a turn off. I mean where’s the respect for women? But again but…. if he hasn’t given you any reason to not trust him. He is a good BF overall and you guys are living together. I suggest you letting him know that you saw his phone and his message. You saw that he wrote her back I miss you too and see what he says. I once checked my Bfs phone… and I told him because A) I didn’t like it that i checked his phone B) I didn’t like what I saw in there so I confronted him. He got mad at me, very mad but it wasn’t a deal breaker for him because he genuinely loves me. He gave explanation to each and every text and cleared my mind. Now this is a man who hasn’t given me any reason to suspect. He has devoted his life to me and my kid.October 23, 2017 at 2:55 pm #662037
What the hell he just stopped talking to you for a month? You just say that as if it was nothing?! That alone is reason to drop him yesterday. Honey what are you thinking?October 23, 2017 at 3:42 pm #662054
I have no idea…
I used to be the lady that would drop a guy at the very moment i sensed disrespect.
For some reason, I let him cross lines that weren’t ok….October 26, 2017 at 5:00 am #662694
Sounds like you have compromised and explained away too much in an attempt to normalise his contacts with his ex, his cutting contact and dumping you for a month and picking you up again (and you being available for that) and him hanging onto a picture of someone he clearly actually dated during your time apart.
What a lame excuse! Keeping it to remind him of what’s he doesn’t want? Oh my..
I’m afraid there is no objective justification here- just attempts to give yourself reasons to stay.
‘I miss you yo’? ‘I miss me and you’? Etc… really?? And the boat comment- honestly, it’s a sexual metaphor or a feelings one… is she as good as me? In bed? Or in how you feel?… she’s getting there…? Wtf?
This man is loving it! Ex contacting… he definitely is wiping other messages- don’t think for a second you didn’t see what you thought you did regarding the message that disappeared.
He’s having his cake and eating it, when he should be saying I’m with someone and acting in a respectful manner to you.October 26, 2017 at 7:20 pm #662918
I would talk to him about this, communication is the best thing here. Demand to know the truth and how long they have really been talking. They could only have begun talking recently if you’ve been looking at his phone and seeing he’s missed calls and not texted. If he is serious about you and no longer wants to contact this ex he should tell her to stop contacting him unless it is purely to be friends (but after a relationship like that I don’t think that would happen) and if she refuses to leave him alone block her number. If he doesn’t do either of these I would really think about your relationship and if you trust him enough to stay in it.October 27, 2017 at 4:14 pm #663052
@honeypie: youre a genius first off… i did not think about how she was insinuated her being better in bed etc etc…I literally took as her commenting about the boat, it just pissed me off he didnt respond with yea shes better at driving the boat or nothing at all, and blocking her. I told him their communication was way to suggestive and i didnt appreciated it.
@ana ha! he would never block her number, she was his ‘best friend’ how could he block her from his life…. i hate that justification too.October 29, 2017 at 4:30 am #663260
This is going to drive you nuts and eat away at your confidence. You are not wrong in how you are feeling or reacting, and it feels like you are scared he’ll lose you before he’ll cut contact with a person who he isn’t willing to let go of… used to be his best friend? In what capacity? We’re they friends before their relationship? And for how long? Are we talking five minutes or years of friendship here? They clearly aren’t friends now… the odd message and tone of it… these aren’t actions of friends.
I think he carries a torch for her but because he knows she can’t stay faithful, this is as much as he will be able to manage without being hurt again knowing a relationship won’t work. He isn’t prepared to let her go and you are suffering because of it.
As much as it would hurt I would have to walk away from this, because he respects her more and values her contact more than respecting you and how it is affecting you. These are no no’s in a relationship and he isn’t even handling the contact in a manner that shows he respects you in his responses to her.
I would explain to him that you need to talk to him and that it’s a deal breaker to you, and if he wants to continue in his disrespectful manner then you respect that, and break up with himJanuary 8, 2018 at 2:39 pm #677609
@honeypie thank you for your advice!!!