He suddenly starts holding hands

[Tamara]

This guy and me specifically told each other it’s a platonic friendship only. This is because we are both in the middle of divorces.

After 2 weeks I am getting some mixed messages. Suddenly he says he wants to hold my hand and entwines his tightly with mine. Since then too he starts giving me long tight hugs.

I am confused. Is he trying to move this along to something more? I truly only like him as a friend – no more.

It seems to me platonic friends may hug from time to time. But holding hands is much more intimate.

[Tamara]

He starting holding hands as we were walking out of a restaurant. We met at work

[Sandybean]

I am affectionate with some of my male friends – but I have known them for years and this took time to develop. So, I don’t think that what he’s doing is meant to be platonic. He might be looking for some casual fun. Regardless of whether his intentions are sexual or romantic, I would reiterate the fact that I’m only interested in being friends and avoid any behaviors that are ambiguous. Simply let go of his hand or break the hug and make a light joke (e. g. about having a 5 second rule so your hugs get equally divided among your friends). If he doesn’t take the hint, be direct and initiate another conversation about where you stand so he knows that you’re not interested.

[Anne ohio]

Don’t date him. Keep it professional.

[Author]

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