He said he was not interested after 6 months and a terminated pregnancy


Home Forums Break Up Advice He said he was not interested after 6 months and a terminated pregnancy

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  • #833002 Reply
    Luna

    We met on Bumble, he was the sweetest guy who drove an hour to pick me, drove another to a place I told him I liked and dropped me back home. We spoke the same language and had similar cultural backgrounds. Four weeks into dating he seemed to pull back a little but at the time I found out I was pregnant. Since the relationship was so new and we were not ready we decided to terminate the pregnancy which was one of the hardest things I had to do in life. He spent one night with me during the process to take care of me and then didn’t visit me for 2 weeks. He blamed it on the new business he started and I believed him. Because how can a guy who was so caring lie at such a difficult time.
    Later visits started becoming once in three weeks and phone calls were very late at night for about 20 mins with him talking about his work. He has literally taken me out on two dates the first date and he took me out on my birthday but we ended up driving and ordered take away food and spent time at my place. I even found his bumble profile updated and asked him about it and he said his friend did it without his knowledge (which I believed).I really thought he loved me and I trusted everything he said.
    Untill this Sunday when I started asking him a lot of questions about why he doesn’t text me or return my calls. He then finally broke and said it was because he lost interest in me, couldn’t feel me anymore and was trying to love me. He also said the only way he could be with me was when he was drunk and now thinking about how we spent time he would come over to my place late at Friday or Saturday night. We would drink have fun and he would leave in the morning by 8 o clock because he was busy.
    My heart broke into pieces, I thought he loved me ( because we said it to each other) and trusted him when he said he was busy with his new business. Now I have come to realise I misssed all the red flags and blindly believed someone and spent 6 months of my life waiting on someone to change so we could be happy together.
    After what he said, I didn’t have much to tell him. I just asked him if he was with me for the 4 months after my pregnancy out of pity, thanked him for atleast telling me now wished him well for his business and hung up the phone. I deleted his contact, messages and threw out all his things.
    I feel awful for blindly believing someone and being naïve, especially considering I am back at dating after 7 years of being single. There is this awful feeling that he realises what he has done and come running back to me. But in reality I know he wont and I don’t want him to aswell. It is just a hard situation I am dealing with where someone meant the world to me and I was nothing but a late night 20 mins phone call.
    Any advice on how to get over this awful situation without doubting myself and feeling unworthy is welcome.

    #833008 Reply
    Ss

    I don’t really have advice for you but just wanted to say I am so sorry that this happened to you! Its awful treatment.

    It sounds like he lost interest but didn’t feel able to say because he feels bad about the termination. I suspect that had that not happened he would have fully checked out months back.

    Its horrible and sad, but let this one go, you deserve someone all in xx

    #833011 Reply
    Newbie

    I dont think you missed all kinds of red flags about his character. I think you completely missjudged his interest from the start and you being too eager. You have to protect your heart better than what you did here. After 4 weeks he pulled back already and like ss said it was probably the abortion that kept him feeling obligated to try.
    I know the hormones of an abortion plus the loss of love is awefull. But its not about you being aweful. Its just not a match. You will get over it. And next time have higher expectations about what makes a good bf. It takes more than being galant on dates and takes a longer period than a month to see if he is worthy of your heart

    #833113 Reply
    Luna

    Yes you both are right, Once he actually told me those words I went over everything that happened I grossly misjudged his interest in me and the relationship. As I said I was nothing but a 20 mins late night phone conversation for him and for me mainly because of the pregnancy I somehow thought this was the most precious relationship of my life.
    It is just hard getting over the fact that someone had so much of an impact on me when I meant absolutely nothing to them. It’s been two days since we spoke and I am trying so hard not to obsesses over evey little detail and go back to him and ask what happen. I know running back to him would be the worst thing i can do for myself.
    Considering this time of the year and I live by myself in a country away from home with no support is making facing this situation even more harder.
    But Thanks for your reply guys.

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