He needs space

I disagree, because how can he be thinking of relationship when he basically can’t function. He can’t have sex he can’t stay awake even when watching a movie he feels tired and grumpy all the time. For me no matter how much I liked someone I wouldn’t want to be seen in that state not to mention act like a good bf. He is one of those guys who would do anything for you I couldn’t even get a glass of water because he was bringing it to me.

He told me he is rubbish at the moment and he is not happy with himself

You may not agree with the assesment of T but even of you dont her suggestions would make the most sense anyway. Because he wants to do this on his own. So you take of you and dont play Florence nightingale. I posted on your other threat where i remembered the last question someone postedh which was: is he your bf? Thats quite relevant here. If up to now you have not confirmed that you most definetely should say bye mentally for now. The reason to do this, is that even if he feels bad, he can still take care of himself. So you waiting around for him to heal is a big trap yo ican spend months in. So now he clearly asked for space so i would wish him well like you did and not contact him anymore. I think this is a case of bad luck but also him not really feeling it for you come together

it’s complicated because his life basically turned up side down . He was injured for pretty much 5 months. He can’t ride his bike he can’t play golf he can’t even cook. And yes he takes codeine to deal with the pain.
We can’t do things like normal couple would because he can’t even drive we can’t go exploring etc
He doesn’t want me to see him being weak. I know men won’t commit knowing there are not happy and fulfilled in their lifes.

We had talks and he was very keen at the beginning when his life was good then we didn’t speak about it because I was hesitant .
But once when he was upset about something and started arguing I said I offered to take you to hospital as in I was trying to make an effort and his response was ; yeah because this is what people in relationship do so in his eyes we are in relationship
But I will add he has been single for 5 years and told me he didn’t like anyone like that for a long time. He was very affectionate. Wanted me to meet his parents etc but then his injury stopped everything

I dont know. He asked for space so thats easy. Just pull back. Wil he come back? I have a feeling he wont. Come to think of it, that much pain from a broken finger? I broke a few bones in my hand a few years and i didnt need painkillers. Yet he needs to be sedated half the day but he can work just fine. But ok thats totally besides the point. I would strongly recommend he do his own healing and you do things you have to do including some fun things

Im pretty sure you will sit this out and see if he comes back. But just dont forget your own life ok? He has benched you for now, so take that seriously. It will unfold itself anyway

Hi again Ewa. This sounds like a case of bad timing. Men can be very fickle (man-babies) when it comes to their masculinity or not feeling good about themselves and need to be alone so they can to fix or solve it by themselves. I know it sucks when things like this go south really quickly but its not your job to fix him, heal him or make him feel better. A wife has an investment in him getting well but a maybe gf doesn’t hold that kind of position in a man’s life so its easy for them to push people aside who don’t.

Listen, he’s trying to cope with a serious injury while trying to survive (keep a roof over his head) and doesn’t have the mental headspace to be dealing with a relationship too. Its too overwhelming for him at this time and why he’s asking for space, which in most cases is the softer/easier way of telling the other its a breakup (over).

At this point you need to give him 100% of the space he asked for and do NOT indulge him! Do not put yourself in the ‘friend zone’ but keep yourself in the GF position on the fluke chance he has a change of mind (misses you like crazy). Only IF that happen’s HE will need to work super hard to get *you back* in his good graces! Unless that happens you give him zero (0) attention. I would not hold my breath or wait around for that to happen though, based on his current circumstances (broke and broken) and best to accept its over forever.

A, the advice is not bad, its prevalent when dealing with a short-term romance, such as this, as woman have a tendency to over-compensate or over-indulge when there are two competing motives involved. In most cases (not all) it does not bode well for the woman to trap herself into the ‘friend-zone’ while she is secretly hoping or yearning he has a change of heart.

I think it would be OK to briefly respond only IF he reaches out to take his temperature so to speak but it needs to come with boundaries or she could find herself being his counselor (someone he vents too) v. a potential GF if he gets through this and wants to see/date her again.

In these situations I’ve always taken the “out of sight, out of mind” approach (aka “moved on”) and had several come back a few months to a year later, when they were in a position to pursue something long-term. They were the ones to contact me out of the blue and within a short time I knew their motives were pure because they stepped way up and batted it out the park. A couple others I just wasn’t feeling it for and had no desire to re-connect but the main factor in this is I had fully moved on and was living my life—not sitting around pining for a man to notice I was alive.

Another thing to add here is I was meant to be on holiday this week for 2 weeks and I feel like he was hoping those 2 weeks will give him some space but I had to cancel
I also feel like I shouldn’t be asking to see him knowing he didn’t feel well

This morning he changed his photo on whastapp to a photo with a girl. I did some research and it turned out it is his sister.
Do you think he is doing it deliberately to get some response from me ?

Honey, I am going to be really blunt…. stop it!!!

Once a man tells you he needs space, you should assume he is not thinking about you at all. I guarantee he did not change his photo to him and his sister as some secret way to communicate something to you.

Imagine if you said anything… how could you say anything that would do anything other than make you look crazy and stalkerish?

The fact that in all this he can change his photo means he is not so badly off.

You should assume this is over. And you were never his girlfriend, so please open up to loving yourself and focusing on you instead.

Ewa,

Men generally do not change social media unless they are very bored and a bored man should not be asking for space.

We do not know if he is coming back or not. This man is not your boyfriend and has made that very clear. By actions and words. So stop acting like a girlfriend.

For every reason you say he is coming back, there is a reason he is not.

At 4 months, he should not be backing away and you should be official. Even if he had an accident. He could like you and simply be incapable right now.

Is it possible he only wants space? Yes. But is it probable? No.

You should be living your life and if he comes back, then you decide. But right now you assume he is coming back when he has given you no indication of when this space might end. You think it is about his hand, but did he actually say… I will call you as soon as I am healed? No…

I am not trying to hurt you, I am trying to make you understand that waiting is going to drive you crazy at 4 months, you deserve a man who is capable and into you and showing it.