he might want children, I don't

You let him go…

If I didnt want kids, and my SO wanted to remove her uterus, I might not take it well either. Of course, this is hypothetical, as I personally want kids, and I won’t truly know my reaction to this scenario until I was living it but…

( Okay I’m laughing at the foresight that I might get a lot of hate or even a ban for what I’m about to say… but my goal here is to help you and give you insight to defuse your situation. Because otherwise the only other option is a break up like above. You owe me, Anna ForFrodo!.gif )

There is something unappealing about a significant other removing her uterus. Hold your pitchforks. I truly believe anyone is free to do whatever they want to their body. And I totally agree that removing your uterus when neither of you want kids is so very practical. And a girl that I love not having to deal with the side effects of birth control is a massive win. But there is just… SOMETHING about her getting a voluntary hysterectomy that doesnt sit well with me. I dont know if there’s something dehumanizing about it in some way. Or if even though I dont want kids and may be 100% sure it, I dont like the idea of it. Idk what. But yeah. It’s irrational no doubt. For context, slight tangent but related: facial cosmetic surgeries and lip fillers or boob jobs are a turn off. Women around the world are free to do it, and I don’t shame them I keep quiet. But that’s a personal preference. And I know some women might say, “A woman can do whatever she wants to her body! And a bf just ought to stfu. You controlling pig Anderson” and I would totally agree with the first two lines. Which is why I vet a potentially long-term partner for whether she is the type to do such stuff to herself in the future or not

Of course, needless to say disclaimer: this is just my take. Your future-hubby-with-a-question-mark might not feel the same. But the way he suddenly flipped his decision of wanting kids upon learning about your decision to remove the uterus, makes me wonder if he feels the same. And it’s hard enough to have the courage to be honest about something so potentially controversial, let alone be self-aware enough to recognize it. Either way, it’s a tough situation to be in and I wish you all the best whichever way it goes

i think more than you he needs to call it off. a friend of mine got married to this guy. post marriage, he said he doesn’t want kids. but she stayed with him. though she loves kids and is a teacher. anyways after few years she had some medical problem and the doctors suggested she remove her uterus. post surgery her husband started maintaining a distance and finally broke off with her. they are now divorced. my suggestion is that you break off now rather than later. you guys differ on some major life altering stuff.

In my opinion this is a dealbreaker. I think you should let him go. This is a huge thing to not be on the same page about, probably the biggest thing in a marriage, honestly (the question of whether or not to have kids), and there’s no way to resolve it. It sucks, and it will hurt, but it will hurt more to divorce later when he decides he wants to be with a woman who will give him kids. How old are you both?

He shouldn’t assume you might change your mind. I have several female friends who knew from a young age (like college age) that they did not want children, and are now in their 40s without kids, with no regrets. Some are married to guys who didn’t want kids, some are single. Your best bet would be to find a man who is on the same page with you about this. Or, if you are a bit older (30s, 40s), and would be willing to be with a man who already has kids but doesn’t want more– that would work too. But I think it would be bad to set yourself up with a guy who thinks he might want kids, and is gambling that you might change your mind. There’s a big chance you will lose that gamble.