This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Sophia 3 weeks ago.
September 21, 2019 at 5:46 am #773720
We been together 8 years,I am working 3 weeks home 2 away.When away told him I am not feeling happy and would like a break to figure out what I want,hoping he will start making an effort for our relationship as lately he became very comfortable.Last time when arrived home he told me can’t be that he is happier when I am away then when I am there.That we don’t have a connection anymore and he sees me more as a friend.I accepted that he doesn’t want the relationship and we went to bet.Second day he calls me in tears that he feels as he made a mistake saying all that and he wants to work on the relationship.When came home he was cold again he said he sees me as a responsibility (I was living in Spain because of him ),that I need to be more social and go out more.Next day we talked again and he didn’t seem to bother same thing he cannot see me there.Went to a friend place for a week then went to work away.Havent seen him yet most of my stuff are still there at his place.While away heard he is seeing another woman.I am so hurt and lost never thought he will do that to me ,especially because we were gonna try for a baby this year.He keeps sending msg here and there to check on me.Never said he misses me or wants me back.Never mentioned to me he has another woman.Where do I go from here.I don’t want to beg or humiliate but still love him.Never been in this situation.Now I am supposed to go and get my stuff and don’t know what to do.He seems more worried about the keys of the apartment .Please help me without being judgmental.September 21, 2019 at 7:37 am #773722
All I know is that if a man isn’t willing to fight for the relationship, then its over. Two people have to work at it, and if one or both stops, then the relationship dies if its not properly nourished.
It sounds like both of you had become too comfortable, neither of you were really putting in any effort, nor communicating much with each other, or you would have discussed it like you discuss anything else when TOGETHER, not when your away. Seriously, if you can’t even discuss things that are bothering you, like two normal human beings communicate, and have to wait until you go away to have that type of conversation, then its no wonder your relationship was already dead.
Sounds like you were trying to get a reaction, using ‘the break’ to see if he would fight for you, it backfired, and now you have to live with the consequences in the poor manner you handled it. You essentially gave him a ‘get out of jail free card’ and he took it.September 21, 2019 at 9:18 am #773729
Better off single
It sounds like he checked out. You deserve better.September 21, 2019 at 10:10 am #773731
nothing you can do. figure out your next move in life and get going. hes flaky and doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. what happened in the past doesn’t matter now. nor do all the unfulfilled promises. it is a difficult situation but you have to look ahead.September 21, 2019 at 7:37 pm #773773
I’m sorry this is happening to you, Ana. It’s a tough situation.
From what you’ve written it definitely seems the relationship is over. Do not torture yourself further. I agree with tammy. Forget the past and unfulfilled future promises.
You don’t want to beg or humiliate yourself, so you leave with your head held high.
Have your friend help you move out your things, preferably when he’s not there. If he is don’t even talk to him. Do not engage. Grab your things in silence.
Leave the keys on the kitchen table in plain sight, and lock the door behind you, on the apartment, and the relationship.
Block him everywhere, delete his number, find a new apartment, straighten your crown and move on.
You got this.