He choose tinder over me


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This topic contains 44 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Passing person 7 months ago.

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  • #679904 Reply

    Sally

    I met a guy a year ago on tinder and it wasnt the right time it was more like a summer romance. We re linked a couple of weeks ago (we stopped using tinder since a long time ago like a year). Things were going well i was supposed to sleep at his house yesterday but he texted me like at 7pm sorry i cant make it tonight im going to finish work super late and have to be early at work tomorrow. I just said ok work well then he texted me late at 11pm saying he just got back home etc i was a bit cold i dont know i felt something so i put back tinder on and in a minute i found him so i asked him what was that? He said loooool cant believe you found me i just put it 20 min ago i just put it by curiousity i was bored and you were cold and speaking not much…

    He said that i didnt have to tell him he cant be on tinder cause i am too. He didnt believe me i made an account with no pics by curiousity. So we went on some huge arguing moments he complained that he felt alone he just wanted to talk to people or meet new people just like that with no romance or sex in his mind. And he didnt promise me anything its his own business and hes not going to close it. So i told him that it wasnt right to invite me at his place cancel me like that at the last moment and now using tinder to meet new people instead of reschedule our plan… he says we are not compatible and will never understand each other and i should mind my own business he has the right to chat up and meet girls. And this morning we argue more he said he dont want to talk to me anymore and to delete his phone number…

    I am extremely shocked and in tears we are in contact for like a year and a half i cant count recently how much we late night talked open hearted and now he is such in a rage he cuts off all contacts for tinder? Who am i ? I feel so unmeaningfull and broken i thought he cared a bit about me…



    #679906 Reply

    peggy

    Sally-I am sorry but I would delete him,like yesterday…He is uncaring and unreliable at best and a liar and cheater at worst. You are best to just moa. Even if he was not officially your boyfriend,this is poor behavior.

    #679908 Reply

    Khadija

    He sounds like an ass.

    Please move on from him and block this guy.

    Lastly, a year and half is a long to be talking to a guy without commitment.

    Your time is precious, stop wasting it on people who aren’t ready and willing.

    #679914 Reply

    Sally

    I cant stop crying i just cant believe what happened… He even made me guilty about the fact he was feeling so lonely but he should told me and i cant understand how tinder is better to cure that instead of making news plans for an evening night in… i saw his instagram story the day before it happened he putted a quote about loneliness that it sucks but hes never going to talk it… that day we didnt talked at all so now im guilty that i had to wrote him that day or maybe i shouldnt be so cold yesterday after he cancelled he wouldnt have put tinder back on his i barely responded hier yesterday night…. idk im lost

    #679916 Reply

    Khadija


    This isn’t your fault at all.

    Please stop blaming yourself for someone else’s actions.

    Do you really want to be with someone who talked to you like that?

    If, so you have bigger problems.

    #679917 Reply

    peggy

    Sally-I will say again-stop any contact with him!! You did nothing wrong except be too accommodating and naive about this guy’s intentions. This poor behavior is all on him nd it is stupid to beat yourself up over this guy. He is emotionally available-to you anyway and treating you like crap-there is no excuse for it. Don’t be one of those sad girls who become a doormat because they invest everything in a man,especially the wrong man!!

    #679921 Reply

    Sally


    I feel so low. Choosing me over a dating app… i feel like i have any value to not even compete with girls he even matched yet. I feel ugly like everyone out there on this app is so much better that even our friendship went to trash in a minute without even thinking twice and having any remorses… how can you forgot all that just in a heartbeat ? Its not like we know each other for a couple of days or weeks its been a year and a half. He didnt care about hurting me telling me all that in my face like it was « normal » its normal and his liberty to make new connection on tinder… he bring that like a friendly app and that i was crazy not understanding him and dont know how it could hurt me… he claims im crazy and strange that it affects me cause im acting distant

    #679926 Reply

    Sally

    Karma is never a bitch for that kind of people im sure he already has someone to meet and who he chatted all day…while im still sad and he already forgot about me

    #679928 Reply

    Sam

    Are you 16?
    I don’t even see anywhere in your post you even dated this man. He wasn’t a boy friend was he? Why so shocked?

    #679933 Reply

    Hel

    This is th e problem with Tinder guys… They all do this…He is an ass you deserve more than that, dont woryy you’ll find a good bf soon

    #679943 Reply

    Sally

    Why do you think he react this way ? So violently

    #679945 Reply

    Lane

    Because you relly had nothing but a lot of talking a don’t see any indication that he was ever seriou about you be seen who are don’t accept like this.

    Your ‘guydar’ ready sucks and your low self-esteem isn’t doing you any favors…men can sniff it a mile away!

    You need to do some hard work on yourself as person who as a high level self esteem wouldn’t allow a man, or anyone for that matter, to determine yiur value and tell them “f you” and walk away with their head held high! You need to get to that point.

    #679946 Reply

    Lane

    Crap…phone’s possessed. Not sure what i meant in the first paragraph other than he was never serious about you and he is perfectly within his right to see and date other girls a you not couple nd single people are allowed to do what they want, when they want, with whomever they want and no one can tell them they can’t.

    I’ve bailed on plans when a better one came up or didn’t feel like doing it and if you have an issue with it then you have the right to stop speaking or making plans with me again. It really is that simple.

    #679947 Reply

    Sally

    We were seeing each other really often but never at his place it would have been the first time yesterday. We did x mas shopping, movies, restaurants and even at his gym

    #679948 Reply

    Sally

    But why being so arsh to me ? I even told him that he knows i am not confident about myself thats why it hurts more he used to compliment me a lot to help me feel better and now e said : why should i care ? Its ur problem

    #679949 Reply

    Sally

    I know him for a year and a half and never he talked to me like that thats why im so in chock

    #679950 Reply

    Sally

    I should precise too that he was my first one a year ago thats why it hurts so bad

    #679951 Reply

    Lane

    Because It’s not his job to mak you feel better and after awhile it gets super old, like a burden. He became your crutch and relied on him too much and he’s at his end point with you. Its your job to fix yourself and become a better, happier and confident person!

    If you can’t or won’t do it for yourself then expect this will become an ongoing pattern in your life. So either pull your big girl pants up and get to work on fixing you or continue to wallow in self pity…the choice I yours, not his or anyone else’s.

    #679952 Reply

    Annie

    You said ” I know him for a year and a half”. That statement is false if you were texting back and forth before establishing contact. Nowadays, girls claim they are friends or know a guy from texting alone.

    Nope.

    #679954 Reply

    Sally

    No we dated over the summer and year ago and made my first time with him. He had a complicated relationship at the time so we ended up but still met casually for coffee and still texting and 2 months ago we started dating after he told me he missed me. So we never lost totally contact and now this reaction how can he understand that i dont want to be intimate with him again if he wants to meet other woman. I felt like it was another person he never treat me like this even when we fought in the past

    #679956 Reply

    peggy

    Sally,sorry..it sounds like you were someone to hang with on his terms. Very casual. So moa and next time,go slow and find out a guy’s dating goals before you get too involved with him.

    #679957 Reply

    Sally

    What i tried to understand why did he get mad to the point of asking me to delete his number? I thought he cared a bit cause he is throwing away our friendship too over a dating app thats what i cant understand the most

    #679958 Reply

    peggy

    OK,Sally-I am getting frustrated and will just say this once more-IT DOES NOT MATTER WHY!!! Just look at the fact that he is treating you like crap and sounds like a jerk. Like I said,do not be one of those pathetic girls that practically beg him to give you some attention. Expect better of yourself and any man you want to date.

    #679959 Reply

    Lane

    I’m getting frustrate too because you REFUSE to listen to what everyone is telling you. He was never serious about you, just having some fun until it stopped becoming fun for him and he wanted out. He KkNEW tha trying to ‘talk to you’ would be futile as you would go round and round and round and round with him like your doing here so getting MAD and asking you to cut him off was the easiest and best exit plan for him.

    I know your hurt, I know it really sucks but he actually gave you a gift by removing the crutch (him) so you can stand on your own to feet and become a better version of yourself. I know you don’t see it now but hopefull this Is the kick in the pants you need. Accept his gift and start the proceess of becoming a stronger, happier and confident woman that you can become if you put in the hard work ito achieve it. Make this your next goal!

    #679969 Reply

    Amanda


    Men do not like women with low self-esteem. I think he got feed up with having to prop yours up and when you caught him on Tinder he just lost his pose. People get emotional sometimes. The thing is he is tired of being friends with such an unconfident woman. Men love confidence, so work on your.s

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