He asks me out and then he doesn't follow..

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This topic contains 23 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  BETTEROFFSINGLE 8 months ago.

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  • #671809 Reply


    Seen him 3 times, only kissed, then he went for a trip and on Wednesday sent me photos from his trip, to which I didn’t react so he followed with ´let’s meet this weekend?’ And I said yes but I ll let him know by Friday cause I don’t know if I ll be back by then. He said to not worry. I sent him a message yesterday (Friday) ´´´how are you? I m back:)’ and he said he s arriving late that night..I said nice, I love the city where he s now, he read it, and nothing else..what am I supposed to think?? I didn’ ask for anything, he initiated, so what is the game here??

    #671811 Reply


    You have been on three dates, so he knows whether or not he wants to spend more time with you. If so, he will be planning a nice date to impress you and send a signal that you are special.

    So wait and see. Accept a date if it’s a real date where he picks you up, etc.

    #671812 Reply


    It just sucks..like I have no decision to take. He decided whether he wants to or not..! These kinds of situations make me wanna not reply any of the messages!

    #671815 Reply


    Well if he sees you as a woman he wants for his own, he will contact you today. If he messages asking for a date, simply answer, give me a call.

    He just got back last night? So naturally you already have plans tonight. But he can call and talk. Don’t make an excuse about your plans, skim right over that, it’s not his business, you barely know each other.

    You shouldn’t be waiting. Get busy. Assume he will call but it will be a tiny moment in your busy world. If he wants into your busy world, he can suggest a date that is worth your time.

    You are waiting because you have nothing else going on.

    #671816 Reply


    So he said let’s meet this weekend, you said yep sure if I’m back, he then says no issues, you then relay you are back- but he seems to still be away though and not back till later? Is that right?

    If that’s the case let him be- he isn’t back and maybe feels not in a position to commit to a time yet if he isn’t even back yet, or could be he doesn’t want another date. Who knows? But the ball is in his court as you text saying your back.

    He might be the sort who doesn’t like an approach of yeah sure let’s meet but I’m not sure if I’m about- I’ll let you know when I’m back. In which case you don’t want to waste your time if he’s after someone who’s always available.

    Give him time and see. In the mean time flirt with others as theee dates isn’t anything to commit to or wait around for

    #671817 Reply


    You told him you may not even be back by the weekend? Was he supposed to wait around until Friday only to find out you could not make it? If the situation were reversed we’d would tell a woman to go ahead and make plans and not wait on someone. He may have gone ahead and made plans rather than wait on you. He isn’t your bf. He may be dating other women and decided to schedule one of them in rather than end up alone over the weekend. Just chill. Obviously travel and timing wasn’t in your favor.

    Now wait and see if he makes other plans with you again. By the way, did you really think you would not be home for the weekend at all? Because waiting to tell him Friday is pretty last notice.

    Also. You could have said not only that you were back but that Sunday would be a good day to meet up. That way you not only tell him you are back but what day now works for you. He still may have ignored it but that is really the only power you have in this situation. And here’s the deal. Why do you want a say in a man who doesn’t show high interest? Women shouldn’t chase after men. So no, you have no decision to take because it’s up to the man to pursue you. It was only three dates. That’s hardly enough time to know if you really like someone or even know what they are about or their intents with you.

    #671819 Reply


    Yeah,, i get all that, and I said yes to the date. And he is back by now. The only thing that’s bugging me is why want to see me and then not follow? It’s like he s checking if im still there?? I do agree though I shouldn’t have told him about my plans. This dating game is so taugh haha.

    #671821 Reply


    He arrived late last night so maybe he just hasn’t thought ahead to plan a date yet.

    A lot of men think differently to women. They complete one task, then think of what to do next. Women are thinking ahead permanently, men aren’t!

    Just wait and see. He’ll ask you out when he’s ready to.

    #671825 Reply

    Stephen G

    Women shouldn’t be proud of multitasking. There are many studies and now books showing that the multi-tasker does a half-ass job. If you want to be highly effective focus on one task only. I tried to each myself several programming languages at the one time. I spent hours and hours on these languages and never got beyond average. When I focused on only one language I picked up far more knowledge and hands on experience. 5 hours of nothing but Java beats 25 hours of studying Java,Python and C++. As I was constantly jumping back and forth between these three languages I was getting nowhere slowly.

    #671871 Reply


    He did contact me at the end..only to ask me ‘what are you doing tonight? Come to my place for a glace of wine’
    Let me be precise; I never gave him any indication that I m after a one-night stand! In fact last time he mentioned his place I told him I preferred to keep it outside of the house..I am not ugly, I am educated and mannered, I dress decently..why???? He is a director of a hotel, from a good family, I told him I don’t want sex so early and he still treats me like the least of them…i wanna cry does it even warrant a reply??

    #671874 Reply


    Sorry to hear that Flower. He’s obviously setting you up for a casual fwb arrangement. Not your fault, just seems to be case with many guys these days. I probably wouldn’t answer. Just ignore and keep your chin up!

    #671885 Reply


    It takes time for people to show their true colors….scope a guy out for a few months before you feel that you know him. Meet his friends and family before you decide if a guy is right for you.

    Slow down.

    #671887 Reply


    Ug what a creep! Texting you late at night and asking to come to his for “a glass of wine”. That is so low class. No way I would consider going out with him after that. Not replying is fine. But I think I would text him. “We don’t want the same things. Good luck with life”. And then not reply. In my experience though, when you say that these types keep trying and what they want never changes. Like I told one guy, “I do not go to a man’s house until I get to know him well.” His reply, “Well let’s met for some coffee and then go to my place.” gross.

    #671896 Reply


    Well you two arent after the same thing and he’s kept that fact to himself until now.

    I would defo reply- something like ‘No thanks- I’m simply not that kind of woman. There’s plenty of them out there though so good luck with your search 😊

    #671906 Reply


    Once again it proofs that if you get a weird vibe from a guy, there is a reason for that, so do not ignore your vibe. STOP right there and go date others. LOL

    You can reply if you can’t help but try to be nice, but it is quite insulting, I feel you. LOL

    I’d ignore him for good. We women need to learn to be tougher and smarter. We act like sissies but most of us have bigger balls than majority of men these days. So toughen up and actually act the way you feel. LOL

    #671909 Reply


    “…most of us have bigger balls than majority of men these days. ”

    And that is just one of the reasons that men are becoming ‘meh’ about women.😂😂😂

    #671911 Reply


    Women are not women anymore. Where have all the good women gone? Very few women today are anywhere near wife material! It’s time to woman up,go and put your big girl panties on. 😂😂😂

    #671920 Reply


    OMG is Stephan like recruiting his fellow woman hating club members to post on this site?

    #673507 Reply


    So i went with the advise of Honeypie and texted exactly what she proposed ‘no thanks- I m simply not that kind of woman, but there is plenty out there, so good luck with your search :)’
    And I sent t in the morining, after I realized he unmatched me from the dating site. He read it and didn’t reply; so I thought I d never hear from him again, not without a regret; cause he was treating me sweetly when with me (chocolate, kisses on the neck, hugs..) until, a week later! He sent a pic from the skiing trip he s at, asking me ”how are you?” And then ”how was your weekend” so what’s the deal here??

    #673510 Reply


    Flower, this happens so often. He’s e-tethering you. Probably bored or got rejected by some girl. Don’t fall for it. He’s disrespected you before, don’t get sucked back in. You deserve better!

    #673511 Reply


    So there s no way to turn this thing around?

    #673513 Reply


    Well he unmatched you, didn’t reply to your earlier text and took a week to reach out again with a non specific message. He could well have sent that same text to several other women. I probably wouldn’t bother. But it seems like you like him and want to give him another chance? Go for it but just be prepared that he’s either going to try bedding you again or disappear on you. My two cents worth. Good luck, I hope I, wrong.

    #673514 Reply



    #673516 Reply


    “wifey material” is such a stupid…ugh.

    …and it’s like screw that! Women are not the property of men. It’s like we’re supposed to posess a sex drive only activated by male desire and we shouldn’t have any kind of feelings due to all of the options out there that can replace her. If you’re that uncomfortable in your masculinity, maybe you’re not “husband material”

    Half of these women have their “big girl panties” on battling it out on the world wide web competeing for romance. so “growing balls” is kind of a side effect.

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