Guy is shy about being naked

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This topic contains 27 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Melissa 3 months ago.

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  • #739908 Reply


    I have been casually seeing a guy for 3 months. The physical chemistry is off the charts. We cant keep our hands off each other. Every time we meet I immediately touch him & and he responds in kind.

    I have tried to escalate things to full sex but he says he’s a bit shy in that area. The guy just turned 60 years old. He was married for 20 years but got divorced last year.

    When I try to take off his shirt he’s ok with that. But when I unzip his pants he just takes my hand and gestures me to rub him down there. He wants it only on top of his jeans to the point where he gets off.

    I’m so frustrated that he’s so private down there. We are ok with tons of hot & heavy with shirt off but it doesn’t go further. He also puts his hands in my pants & tries to get me off but I hate it. He’s rough and uses both hands.

    How can I move this thing forward. He seems like a school boy at 60 years old!!

    #739911 Reply


    you cant force him. you have to let him get comfortable. be patient.

    #739919 Reply

    Amy S

    Why bother granpa probably isnt going to be getting it up anytime soon if he hasnt already.

    #739938 Reply


    Do you really want to move things forward? You are saying he is rough with his hands so he might be a terrible lover.
    For me this is indeed too high school and i wont give handjobs to a guy just to get him off. At some point if both of you are a match you want to make love in a meaningful way.
    Have you cleared up what the two of you are? Dating, a couple, handjob relief? I would talk to him about how he thinks where you stand and if i wants to be a couple, ask what is keeping him from getting naked.

    #739950 Reply

    better off Single

    This is one of those moments when you give your man a confidence boost and tease him so bad he won’t care about being naked.

    #739952 Reply


    Jabbing his hands down a womans cherry is not my idea of lovemaking. Its gross. If he tries again I will pull him out as it hurts!

    He seems rather mechanical in his approach & not sensual like me. Maybe its because he’s a computer programmer and not at all a “feeling” type of person like me.

    Is there any hope for this type of guy? I’m really not interested in having to “teach” him everything!

    #739954 Reply


    yes, having to teach a repressed 60 year old doesn’t seem like a good prospect. That is really too bad considering you seem to have the chemistry that is so hard to find. I think you need to have a conversation with him.

    “I am extremely attracted to you and would like out physical relationship to progress. That would require that we get naked together and the thought of that excites me. I would like to hear your thoughts on it because I’m sensing you are reluctant to go there”

    Hopefully he will respond in a positive way but you still have the mechanical teenager to deal with.

    #739962 Reply


    Op – is it possible that he has STD, or have half of a penis due to some accidents before?

    #739976 Reply


    He’s not ‘shy’ he’s creepy & selfish!

    #739979 Reply


    Melissa, if at 60 years old he has a hang-up about you seeing his penis, it’s time for you to discuss it with him.

    Or, since this is “casual” as you say, end it and find someone who isn’t afraid for you to see his hardware.

    He could be hiding a deformity (which is something that can be overcome) or a disease (which you’d want to know about since he lets you handle it), or he may just be pathologically shy. And if it’s the latter, he won’t get better about it until he confronts it.

    #739994 Reply

    Better off Single

    Yeah listen to everyone else. Throw this one back. He’s acting like a teenager.

    #739995 Reply


    He is not shy, please ladies have some sense. The guy is 60 and been married for 20 years. There is another explanation. He might have an STD or another illness. Maybe he is missing a testicle.

    If he is rough and wants to get you off through your jeans I doubt you’d enjoy sex with him even if there is nothing wrong with his genitals. And you can’t teach things like that.

    Either way, you have to find out LOL Talk to him without pretense, and don’t let him sway the conversation away by saying he is “shy”. Make sure you find out the real issue.

    And do not be afraid to tell him – straight up – that what he is doing with his hands and your jeans ain’t working for you. Duh!

    Stop being afraid to speak up.

    #740005 Reply


    Okay there is some good advice here. Possibly he has an STD but is too embarrassed to say. Said he wasn’t happy for years when married. Hard to know if he engaged in affairs then or went to hookers. Really though, he doesn’t know what to do except immediately grab my crotch. Doesnt appear experienced in any way.

    I told him I was really sore down there last time. He just said it really turns him on to see a woman orgasm 2 or 3 times in one night. He never even apologized.

    Our dates aren’t romantic either which is a drag. He complains about co-workers at his work not “knowing what they are doing” and they are incompetent. But he’s really nice to me all the time and fusses about to clean up my spills or messes in a restaurant.

    #740014 Reply

    Amy S

    So hes bad in bed with no romance but good at wiping up. WTF. Thats his good points he knows how to use a cloth. Stop putting up with this loser.

    #740018 Reply

    A new mode keeps me Single

    there is just no sexual chemistry between them it doesn’t make him a loser.

    #740026 Reply

    Amy S

    Well a 60 year old man that doesnt know how to touch a woman in a sensual way without hurting them may not be a loser in your eyes but Im sure you would feel different if he had hurt you down there…..

    #740027 Reply

    Better off single

    It has happened to me before. I wouldn’t call him a loser for it. If he was interested in learning what I like and did it he could possibly become inspired to get creative on his own.

    If he hurt me down there I’d tell him it hurt and let’s try something else. if I’m not getting satisfaction or he’s unwilling to please I would just see it as a lack of sexual chemistry and move on to someone else. If hes unwilling to even go there, can’t give a legit reason why, and I have to be the one to progress things- it would never happen anyway and I’d still move on.

    #740031 Reply


    There’s an adage “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” which means its very difficult to teach someone new skills or change someone’s habits or character.

    I bet you 10-1 his ex wife and his sex life was NIL. I remember my dad telling me once “having sex with your mother was like having sex with a nun” haha. Back in the day you didn’t have sex before marriage so many men had little to no sexual experiences prior to marrying, nor did the woman, so their sex lives were often boring and dull.

    Today younger men have more experience, as do woman, so those sex issues are less common today with those who engaged in sex pre-marriage.

    If sex is important to you, and its not to him, where do you expect this to go? I would cut your losses and find someone who know how to rock your world!!!

    #740171 Reply


    I think some of you ladies have very warped thinking. Just because the man is 60 doesn’t necessarily mean that he has a wealth of experience with women. The guy was married for 20 years. As someone mentioned she might be the only person he’s been with hence the reason why he’s hesitant with a new person.

    The only way you’re going to know what’s up is to have a conversation with him about it. If you can see a future with this man then it might be something you can work through. If you don’t see a future with him just end it if he’s not satisfying you. Is there a big age difference between the two of you? If so maybe date someone more your age. It might make a difference.

    #740184 Reply


    We are close in age. I am 56. I have had 3 long term partners. With this guy, we cannot for the life of us keep our hands off each other. Whether it’s a kiss or holding hands.

    I have to avoid seeing him at times because he may be all I think of in any one given day.

    #740196 Reply


    You might have had 3 long term relationships. This guy might have had less than that. Maybe his wife is the only other person he’s been with. Age is not indicative of how much sexual experience one has had. It might take him a while to be open with someone new.

    #740226 Reply


    Good point!

    #740230 Reply


    How can you feel comfortable enough to be intimate but too afraid to discuss sex? Maybe he has issues with having intercourse during initial dating phase or believes you do not want this. Who knows? I think it’s ridiculous to assume he has sexual disease or deformity. If you are so into this man then simply have a conversation and ask what he likes sexually, discuss what other things he likes to do, etc. only way to figure this out is to see what he says or doesn’t. But it does seem clear he appears clueless as it relates to foreplay if his first move is to grab your crotch. Some men, young and old haven’t had much experience or explored and learned ways to please a woman. Other men are just selfish and focused on what works for him. Only way to know with your guy is to start having frank discussions about sex and what you both like outside of this adolescent hands in the pants crap.

    #740233 Reply


    Maybe he’s incontinent and doesn’t want you to mess with his Depends undies.

    #740235 Reply


    I could try initiating a talk about what last poster said. He’s not an open guy & rather shy discussing his feelings. Not sure this would work in his case.

    If what you say is true, he probably already feels incompetent & worthless. Clearing the air is great I agree. I may bring it up and then gauge his reaction.

    Either he is okay getting into this very personal topic or his face turns beet red and he looks uncomfortable. In any event, I want a man not an adolescent. If he’s having problems speaking verbally, it doesn’t sound promising it will be any different between the sheets!

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