Guilty of nothing

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Kayla 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #712675 Reply


    I’ve reconnected on about three occasions in the past year with an old group of friends. We have gotten together for dinners, drinks etc. One of the members of the group is an old boyfriend from a long time ago. We chat and laugh and maybe flirt a little but nothing more. He recently called me to tell me that his wife found pictures of me that he hid in his phone and she thinks there is something going on between us for a variety of reasons (between the two of them) besides the pictures. I am married and do not want her causing issues. do I just ignore?

    #712678 Reply


    Ignore them, and stay away from the old boyfriend. You do not need that.

    #712685 Reply

    Anne ohio

    Of course ignore. You certainly can’t contact either of them, or gossip about it to anyone in the circle.

    #712688 Reply


    Why was he hiding pix of you on his phone?
    That guy is BAD news.
    Run far away from him & the drama he is creating…

    #712692 Reply


    He apparently took pictures of me at the last event we went to and I didn’t know

    #712715 Reply


    I agree with Raven, I stay away from drama in my life. They are obviously having problems that don’t involve you. He should never have told you his wife found the pictures and thinks there is something going on. Especially when he took those pictures without your knowledge. He should have been able to explain it away to her along with the fact you’ve only seen him 3 times in a year and that was in a group of other people.

    And if you are married and are guilty of nothing then what issues could she possibly cause? I tell my husband everything so if something like this came up I would tell him. He trusts me so there wouldn’t be an issue and then if she did come around saying something crazy he wouldn’t be caught off guard. Seems like a non-event to me.

    #712732 Reply


    I would tell your husband this happened and then avoid this man in the future.

    #712739 Reply


    Something isn’t adding up.
    How can you not know he took your picture? If it was secretly taken it would reflect that when she saw it. How does she know you? Just to see some random pic of someone at an event, how does that get tied back to you? Why does this guy have your phone number? How would she know who your husband is and how to contact him?

    If it’s all so innocent why would you worry? Does he have text messages from you or phone calls?

    #712743 Reply


    If you communicate occasionally then ignoring this message would be odd. I think your ex is giving you a headsup in case his wife does something stupid.

    Tell your HB and ask him what he thinks you should do. If your relationship is solid it won’t have any adverse affect, and if your ex’s wife does take some neurotic steps, they would land on deaf ears and do no harm, your HB would have been prepped.

    #712777 Reply


    I am on the fence on this. It depends on whether or not your husband knows this guy you socialize with is an ex. I feel you told him that he is part of this gathering, then he likely would trust you and appreciate you being honest about it and support your decision to stay clear of these events and this guy.

    My gut says, this wasn’t all that innocent, or you wouldn’t come here to seek advice. I agree with Kaye’s comments that if you are honest and open with you’re husband, this kind of stuff wouldn’t be an issue.

    I also agree with OK that I’m not sure you are sharing the whole story. You said that you flirt with this guy. So have you led him on in any way that he would take pics and want to keep them? That’s not usual ex behavior unless he is feeling inspired at the possibility.

    One thing I know for sure is that when a spouse is infatuated with a person outside the relationship they many times keep bringing up that person in conversation. I had an affair in my first marriage many years ago. And it was a guy from work. In retrospect I kept mentioning him to my spouse. Anytime I shared information about work, projects, etc.. I always seemed to mention him as part of the story, it was not really intentional and as I think back, I was so infatuated I couldn’t help but talk about him. Maybe your guy is like this and that’s what prompted her to look at his phone. But, and 5his is a big but! Usually people (IMO) don’t focus on people who don’t encourage them. Sure, the odd stalkers and serial killers and … you fill in the blank. But I find it odd she would focus on you and not other women he might be socializing with.

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