This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Andrea 2 months, 3 weeks ago.
May 22, 2019 at 10:58 am #750848
So, my on again off again fwb and I have had a rocky couple years. AS of late he is acting more jealous and not wanting me to date others. However, when I ask him to clarify what we are, he doesn’t answer but gets upset. So I’ve started dating others. Anyway, after he and I had an argument and I blocked him for 2 weeks, he emails me incessantly and I fall back into communication with him. Before you know it, within the hour, we are dying to see eachother, he and I are both actively trying to figure out how to skip work, leave early, and stay over eachothers houses. he’s uncharacteristically open with his feelings, literally begging me to stay over. This happens for 4 straight days. i in return am expressing how I can’t wait to see him. We are texting all day long for 4 days straight.
Finally the day comes where he had dinner planned and I was going to stay over. I cancel sleeping over, but we have dinner. I just didn’t want to go there. I need to get away. However, while he’s driving me, we both end up in his house. Of course we had sex. But here’s where things make me angry:
He asked me to say something in Spanish to him. He knows I don’t speak Spanish, but I am from Latin descent. However his ex before me was latina and did speak Spanish and it’s clear in his meal choices, and how he jokes around and throws affectionate latin terms at me, that she left a mark on him. No, he’s not Latino at all.
I’m very bothered by this. I know I need to get rid of him and start my life. But there is something that pulls me back. This time, I know I need to leave.
Am I right to be upset about this? Is it possible he’s with her? She is his ex from 5 years ago. However I found out last year he was still helping her with the car he gave her…
I’m just confused and besides myself…May 22, 2019 at 11:19 am #750850
I think its time you tell him you are ready to move on and then stop taking his calls.
Perhaps he is still seeing her but, at this point it doesn’t matter.
This all sounds like its going nowhere fast and holding you back from a real relationship.May 22, 2019 at 11:45 am #750851
If you’re FWB, and not exclusive, it’s none of your business.
You’re obviously emotionally invested and if he won’t commit you have to let go.May 22, 2019 at 12:16 pm #750853
” AS of late he is acting more jealous and not wanting me to date others.”
Well, if he wants you to be exclusive, he needs to commit to you and move forward with a relationship. He wants his cake and to eat it too.
I assume if you are dating, you want a relationship. Staying exclusive to him as a FWB is not going to further that goal. Also, I don’t think you have done a good job (either of you) of keeping the distance required for a FWB to be healthy. Sounds like you’ve both gotten attached.May 22, 2019 at 1:52 pm #750860
FWB is the dumbest situation. You might as well just give permission to eachother to sleep with others while being exclusive.
The Fine Line
The only way it will work is if you really don’t care about being with eachother and have an understanding it’s just sex. To avoid getting emotionally involved -No dates, no dinners, no Netflix and cuddles…just sex put your clothes back on, say thanks, and leave feeling cheap yet satisfied.May 22, 2019 at 3:23 pm #750864
DTMFA. Among other things he has a fetish for Latinas. You aren’t a person beyond fulfilling that fetish.May 22, 2019 at 4:21 pm #750866
Why are you getting so emotional about a man who clearly doesn’t want you as his girlfriend and thinks you are good enough for sex only and not for a relationship?
Face the facts already and stop imagining that he gets jealous that It means something.
98% or women in FWB end up thinking that he will change his mind. No he will not.
He is comfortable just with getting sex from you. He doesnt want you, he clearly shows you this. Why are you wasting your time?May 22, 2019 at 8:03 pm #750876
Hope he’s better at sex than intelligence. He sounds like a step above idiot. How do you talk in Spanish if you don’t speak the language?May 23, 2019 at 3:38 am #750888
All it means is he wants exclusive access to you sexually and he’s into Hispanic women.
He’s not in love with you and he’s only keeping you around for easy sex and companionship, until he either gets bored or meets someone he feels is girlfriend material.