Friend that is a boy

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Louise 6 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #683340 Reply


    I met this guy in September. We talked for a little bit off and on and then he asked me to get a beer w/him. That beer date lasted for 5 hours, and we started seeing eachother regularly. We told eachother how into eachother we were, we were staying the night at eachother’s houses, good times you know. And then one night (after a week of seeing eachother) I was at his house, about to stay the night and he told me that he wanted us to stay in our own beds. I let him have his space, but I felt that something was up so I texted him a couple days later asking him if things were ok and he said he wanted to talk to me about how he does like me, he’s just not ready for anything serious and how he’s sorry he didn’t tell me before. It was my decision to stop seeing him. So we more or less stopped seeing eachother. Flash forward a couple months (we have the same mutual friends so we run into eachother a lot) and the last time that he and I ran into eachother, he ended up asking me out on a date. I said yes, we went, had a great time again and then at the end I asked him why we didn’t do this back two months ago. He said that he didn’t know and that he’s still working with some issues. He likes me, wants to keep seeing me and he doesn’t want to see anyone right now but isn’t ready for anything serious still. Even though he’s moving 30 minutes away, he still wants to see me. I offered for something light and fun at first, but I didn’t last four days – we hadn’t even hung out or made any plans to hang out after that (he was in the middle of moving/I got perinoid that I was going to get ducked over). So I told him that I’m going to want something serious later and that’s why what I suggested isn’t for me. He texted back saying he understood and we agreed to stay friends.

    My question is did I make the right choice in walking away?

    PLEASE DO NOT comment on how awful this guy is or how stupid anyone in this story is. I’m sorry for the bluntness, but I’ve seen that too much on this forum and Not only is it belittling to people, it doesn’t answer the question at hand.


    #683427 Reply


    I also want to add that his friends tell me he’s just slow to adjust and that he had a terrible relationship in the past.

    Honestly I do feel like I rushed things to some extent but I do want everyone’s opinion.

    #683430 Reply


    Yes, walk away. He’s showing you he likes you to a point and it stops directly @ serious relationship. You looking for him consistently after a few days reveals you seek him out more than casually; you show you want something steady to build up and he does not.

    Him moving away and still wanting to see you counts for nothing…it is just talk. Actions speak louder than words and if you follow that rule in life, you’ll be happier.

    Let him deal with his issues while you go find someone that wants a relationship like you. Seems like you have something wonderful to give and there do exist people willing to give the same back to their special person. Him, bye Felipe. =)

    #683433 Reply


    You don’t think I went too fast?

    #683435 Reply


    No. He’s the one with the issues. You may have gone too fast on yourself, on your own principles. That only you can answer. But if you want fast and ruined the relationship, no. That was doomed already and he was dishonest with you about it and admitted such.

    He’s not emotionally available so he’s unavailable.

    #683439 Reply


    Thanks. I guess I kept going back and forth thinking that I made the wrong decision sometimes. His friends are my good friends too and they keep telling me how great of a guy he is and that he just needs some time. While I know that they mean well and I don’t doubt that he is a wonderful friend to them and to others and a good guy im genral, he can still only like me to a certain point and the two of us can still want different things.

    #683447 Reply


    Any other thoughts? Love to hear ‘em.

    #683454 Reply


    What thoughts are you looking for? He doesn’t want a relationship with you.

    #683475 Reply


    Well the question was if I made the right decision by walking away. I wanted to hear other people’s answers to that particular question.

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