follow up


This topic contains 46 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lane 2 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 22 posts - 26 through 47 (of 47 total)
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  • #731182 Reply

    Lane

    Rebekah, I understand you’re struggling and its perfectly normal to have a lot of insecurities while you adapt to this new transition. Of course it involving a sex blogger he’s rooming with certainly didn’t make it easier for you but he really is bending over backwards to make you happy and you really need to appreciate his efforts as a man who wants his woman happy will move mountains to make her happy…he is definitely in love with you!!!

    Honestly, I wouldn’t be concerned about the ‘tricks’ though because my ex husband’s first wife was ‘a nymph’ (his words) who taught him how to pleasure a lady and I was the beneficiary of it lol. I often said, if you ever talk to her again, thank her for me ha ha.

    I know this LDR isn’t going to be easy but you do need to relax some, not be so temperamental or it could ruin this relationship and I would really hate for this to happen. He really does sound like a stand up guy and you need to thank and acknowledge him for doing everything he could to make you happy and feel safer with him. Stop being so cautious and love this man deeply as deeply as he’s showing you by moving or you could lose a good one! I really want this to work out for the two of you you but you do need to cut him some slack and give him the trust and devotion he deserves.

    #731186 Reply

    Haha

    Ok, Lane is drinking again. He loves her deeply but she had to force him to move out from a nymph. And now she has to be thankful because her bf learned sex from the woman he had as a roomate. That’s hysterical. Oh from a woman who dates a married man for two years,

    #731188 Reply

    Lane

    Well Ms. Funny, I’m actually here to try and HELP women, you’re obviously here to shame them, including the OP who I’m pretty sure didn’t come here so women like you can bully and demoralize them further.

    I’m sure Eric would be proud that your using his forum to abuse women on here. My BF is divorced BTW ha ha.

    #731191 Reply

    Lane

    OP, please ignore the TROLLS on this forum. They seriously HATE women who are in happy and loving relationships because they can’t find it themselves obviously or they would behave the way they do. When something’s lacking in one’s life they want to hurt those who are not…I’m an easy target because I’ve been successful in love and it burns them for some reason?

    Again, give your BF the credit he deserves for making you happier!

    #731221 Reply

    Haha

    Yes, Lane. We are all Uber jealous of you. You remind us every single day. And not a day passes where you are wrong or harsh, even though on one thread you tore a woman to pieces and pretty much called her pathetic for not leaving an abusive man. Seems your own manic moods dictate which way you flow but the constant with you is that you are never wrong. No one has better advice than you. And you are so much happier than anyone else on here that you have to remind us every single day. Usually when people have to keep telling everyone how happy they are they really aren’t. They just need to keep saying it so they even believe them self. Someone so happy wouldn’t take so much glee in putting down al the other women on here as mean and unhappy. It’s hysterical she says she is an easy target because she is so successful. So successful is she that she hangs out on a dating forum and makes women feel bad because she is so successful and gets off on telling them this.

    #731448 Reply

    rebekah

    Lane, thank you very much for such an insightful and reassuring post! It helped! And I take into account your constructive criticism too – while I think it’s good that I set up a boundary, it definitely could have been done in a less temperamental way.

    We talked about it with him, we both apologized… so I think it’s time to put it past us.

    I won’t be replying to this thread anymore – simply because I think at this stage I have to give him and us some trust and faith and hope that it will work out (and having starngers online questioning that doesn’t help).

    OK, I appreciate your input too, but I think you misunderstood something – I don’t worry about their friendship as such, it was just the exclusive living situation (plus him being inconsiderate about it) that bothered me. So that they are still in the same city doesn’t mean much for me. It’s a huge city! (One hour flight between us is less than you can spend on an underground there.) And I guess my phrasing ‘he’s behaving’ was… maybe inappropriate? All I meant is that he is showing all the signs of care, consideration and even remorse.

    We spent plenty of time together last week and it was great. We have great plans for Christmas during Christmas/NYE break. And he is moving in a few hours. Most importantly, he’s been very concerned about me being upset (it really showed). All this together reasures me that we should give it a chance.

    So I will.

    Merry Christmas to you all!

    #731449 Reply

    rebekah

    also, some of you seemed bothered that I appreciate some posts (like Lane’s, Padmini’s, Emma’s and others) but not all? I wasn’t aware that there’s a competition… and seriously, can you not see a difference between Lane’s and Haha’s posts, for example? you don’t have to be an expert on this forum to see the difference. I really hope that other OPs see that too. now really it’s time for me to go :)

    #731465 Reply

    Blu

    Lane, Padmini and Emma. Nuff said. The whackiest women on here.

    #742123 Reply

    rebekah

    hi Ladies, so it’s been weeks that he moved out, our relationship has been amazing. really, wonderful. everything calmed down, we forgot about the whole drama. until yesterday, he told me that she’s invited him to her birthday party. and he asked me if it’s fine if he’s going. I said sure. but now I have some flashbacks of this drama and second thougths. it’s ok, right? honestly, if I tell him that it’s not fine, he will not go. I know that I can do this and he will respect it. but this is his old frineds circle, not just her, the whole group of more or less 10 people that he will be able to catch up with. so that’s cool, right?

    #742125 Reply

    Padmini

    I am real glad to hear that everything is going in the right direction for you! :)

    I have a solution: Why don’t you accompany your boyfriend to the birthday party?

    #742127 Reply

    rebekah

    thanks, Padmini. I’m afraid I can’t. we’re still in different countries and the party is on a Wednesday, no way I can take a day off to fly to a party in a middle of a week.

    #742128 Reply

    rebekah

    no, but it will be fine. he’s been proving that he’s trustworthy and cares about me feeling secure for a long time. it’s been really really good between us and not for a second he thought about judging me of being insecure or anything. he just took that I felt uspet and it shouldn’t be like this. a catch, really. so it’ll be fine. I just had a moment of hesitation.

    #742140 Reply

    Emma

    Rebekah, why are you doing this again? why do you go against your own feelings and pretending? He asked you if you would prefer if he doesn’t go, you should have said. honestly, yes I would.

    #742150 Reply

    Lane

    Rebekah just let him go if he wants to go! Seriously, let him enjoy some social time with a friend and others who will be there too. Don’t keep him on a tight leash, he’s an adult man who shouldn’t FEAR going somewhere because it will piss off his GF. Men do come to a point where they will tolerate being ‘mommied’ but it wears thin and will start feeling if nothing he does makes you happy or you’re always mistrustful then he’ll come to see this relationship as too much work. Do you TRUST HIM? If so let him go and stop being so darned worried all the time.

    #742164 Reply

    kaye

    Rebekah,

    I don’t disagree with you not wanting him to live with her and voicing your displeasure. But NOW I think you’re acting crazy! He LIVED with the woman ALONE who wrote a sex blog and you trusted him. Now you don’t want him to even go to her birthday party with other friends in attendance? Do you not see how crazy that sounds? He told you about the party, asked you if it was fine, and you said yes. It needs to stop there. Don’t second guess it now and tell him not to go. You will look like a jealous, insecure fool! You could deal with him cozied up on the couch with her watching tv and having drinks but not going to a birthday party with lots of people? What is wrong with you?!?

    #742190 Reply

    Khadija

    You got what you wanted about the living arrangement.
    Don’t make a fuss about him going to the party.
    If you do he will feel like you are trying to control him, you don’t want that.

    #742198 Reply

    Padmini

    Rebekah, thanks for reminding me that you are in an LDR. :)

    It is good to know that you are now back to feeling secure after having a momentous concern about the matter, which is quite understandable.

    So I would recommend that you not think of the matter further or say anything to your Boyfriend about it!

    I send you loads of LOVE! We are all here for you! :)

    #742317 Reply

    rebekah

    thank you ladies, you are great! and I agree. I will not say anything… It really was just a moment of hesitation (and I wrote this post here after a night out with female friends, after a few drinks). he is being great and he’s been super understanding. so sure, it’s fine. thanks again, cheers!

    #742318 Reply

    rebekah

    Emma, I appreciate your input too and I know how women-empowering your input is on this forum, but in this particular case, I think I should not get too little-baby-tantrum either. But I very much appreciate your replies too.

    #742373 Reply

    Honeypie

    OP I can completely understand where you were coming from regards the living with her thread. His disregard and respect for your feelings and the relationship totally. I can also completely understand why you feel as you do about this party too. However I think at this point the only thing to do is for him to go to it and you grin and bear it. Her birthday will then be over for another year. Sounds like this whole episode is at an end and this is the final bit. If you say you don’t want him going I think it’s totally understandable however not what you should do given he’s sorted the situation and now got it, you can say honestly it makes you feel anxious again because of all the stuff but that you trust him and you’ll deal with that anxiety and he should go.

    #743119 Reply

    rebekah

    hi you wonderful ladies! it was fine. I didn’t say anything, he had a good time, and now we’re back to normal (read great).

    #743132 Reply

    Lane

    Glad to hear it! Glad you were able to ‘let go’ of the leash and see that he wasn’t going to run away but come back and give you more love :o)

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