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- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by
Sal.
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Alice
Guess I’m venting? What’s with the flakey dudes out there? Had a third date lined up and the guy flaked 3hrs before saying he had “car trouble”? Dude I’m not your employer, no need to use the “can’t come into work today excuses” on me, just say ur not feeling it haha
I mean shoot I wasnt sure yet either. I’m still more respectful of people’s time. I’d just say no to a 3rd date rather than setting it up.
It’s just funny to me I’m more of a man than some of these guys. Honesty is my best policy. When a guy fakes an excuse it’s so gross. Like wow what a turn off.
Saved me more wasted time.
Khadija
I’ll assume you met this man online.
I think it just comes with the territory, not that I’m saying its okay.
Many people are searching and meeting people online. These guys often cancel because they landed a date with someone else they want to get to know. Or he could actually have car trouble, unless you’re following him around you don;t know for sure.If it’s legit you’ll hear from again to reschedule.
Don’t take any of it personal and just move on. Since you planned to go on a date tonight, why not go out anyways?
Alice
Yes I just don’t dig the excuse, it feels fake. He could have setup something else right sway if it was real car trouble. Not into men like this, on to the next. Men like that are just not what I’m into.
Khadija
If it really is car trouble, he may have to take the car into a mechanic.
I mean if that’s the case the last thing I’d be concerned about is rescheduling a date. Just something to think about.
Either way you’ll know for sure if you never hear from him again.
Aus
oh I feel you girl! I had a guy friend (platonic) do this to me, he sent me pictures of his exhaust lying on the ground at his office parking lot. this was at 11am and we were supposed to see eachother at 7pm. Now I now he’s a bit of a player and most likely substituted me for someone else. but then grow balls and say it!! you know…
when guys do this I am always torn between saying nothing or calling them out.
Because not saying anything is the best course of action, but lately I’m feeling as though we let guys get away with their cowardly ways by just quietly fading away with our dignity in tact.
So my latest tactic is shaming them, now this might not apply to your situation, but more in general. Like with the above mentioned guy, I told him that his elaborate photographic evidence was cringe and over the top and that I feel embarrassed on his behalf.
I’m just sick of playing it cool when flakey guys think we buy their bullsh*t excuses
Alice
Yea I highly doubt the guy who flakes on me really had car trouble, it’s just silly. If the car trouble were real he’d try to setup another time to meet, like say “let’s get together for dinner on Wed cuz this should be solved by then”. But not setting anything up to replace the flake situation is a sign it wasn’t real.
I don’t even care if he had better things to do, I just hate being lied to. Car trouble is such an excuse you give your boss, it’s weak.
I wasn’t rude to him about the excuse, all I responded with was “alright, hope u work it out. take care” and left it at that. I’m not going to dive into his excuse with him and make it my problem or give him the satisfaction that it affected me. I ended up just hanging out with a friend instead.
The sad things is this guy will probs be reaching back out to me eventually and it will just be annoying.
T from NY
I refuse to sit back and say “oh well because we met online it’s just what happens these days”. It’s also not “just dating”. Where are the men with honor? Where are the attention spans? It’s ridiculous how many men I’ve encountered who ask me out then don’t follow through. I will not make excuses for them. I don’t lead men on. I don’t say yes to a date then back out last minute when another guy comes along. We are all looking for a human who does what they say they’ll do. I want you to know I normally don’t encourage calling men out. But I think it depends on the circumstance. I had a guy ask me out twice before he went out of town one week. Reminded me about how we were supposed to meet when he got back! Then 4 days after his return still hadn’t made a plan. I let him know that since he wasn’t making a plan (he was reaching out about inane things) I felt his interest level was low and wished him good luck. So done with flakes!
Alice
Ugh, T you totally spoke to me.
Seriously, who cares how we met and in what venue. Have some dignity!!! And holds ur word dude! I mean the guy wasn’t even a good kisser and I still was willing to give him another shot at a date cuz he had nice eyes. For fu***sakes! How is it we have more balls then some of these men nowadays?! Lol
I didn’t want to call him out cuz I really didn’t want him to see how much it bothered me. If he asks me out again or whatever I’ll probs just say “right, cuz ur not gonna show up again right? lol” and make the joke on him.
Apparently this is an epidemic if men flaking. I’ll never do that, it’s just not me.
Positive note, got a date with a new guy on Sunday. And away we go haha
Sensy
Rejection hurts, but he saved you from further pain since you would not have invested in yet another date.
Alice
I don’t look at this as rejection lol
It’s more of a frustration that I could have made other plan if he was gunna flake and waste my time.
Rejection would be if I asked him to do something or asked him to be exclusive and he said no.
I just hate time wasters, big turn off haha
Sal
100% feel ya on acting like meeting online is an excuse for bad behavior. It might be the mentality of some people online. It may even be somewhat of a reason. It definitely is not an excuse though!
You can’t change what others are going to do so flakes will come with dating… no matter how you meet. Could people please stop acting like flaking is ok just cause it’s “online” and it’s your fault for not understanding that?
Is it really too much to say flakers exist and they are rude without giving the lectures about online and you should know better?
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