This topic contains 19 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by kaye 3 weeks, 5 days ago.
April 20, 2019 at 11:12 pm #746865
Yes I can get a date. Tonight I had a first date from plenty of fish,
very nice and intelligent 57 yr old man. I’m the same age. Hes traveled and is an executive and down to earth and funny.
But he wanted a kiss, then another with the tongue. I mean, I could like him, possibly, once I know him, but I certainly didn’t feel like making out. So pulled away nicely. Haha.
Hes attractive but only a 6 out of 10.
Then he invited me to his house nearby but of course I said no.
Why would a grown man think I would come over on a first date. He must be very horrrnny.April 20, 2019 at 11:22 pm #746866
Hope you managed to hide your (very) mean and bitter side of you that is on constant display on this site? SMILEApril 20, 2019 at 11:24 pm #746867
I’m trying to be a kinder person and I apologize for the nasty way I talked to you. Now that I have a post, I see how hurtful it to be bashed when you have a question.April 20, 2019 at 11:46 pm #746871
entertainment. Food. Sex. That’s why.April 21, 2019 at 12:20 am #746872
Hahahah…. all good…
Sounded like you had fun… so is this guy a yes or no at this point?April 21, 2019 at 10:48 am #746886
Well at least he is not very advanced doing the smooth talk first. I would be turned off too honestly. If chemistry develops fine but in this case i would have felt like any piece of meat would have done the trick for him. So next guy i would say. And yes, you do come across as mean when its not necessary. So im glad you changed your tune. Online dating at your age (close to mine too) can be horrific so you have to keep a sense of humour about itApril 21, 2019 at 7:56 pm #746920
Well, I certainly hope there is going to be a 2nd date soon so that we will continue to have a sweet OP…April 21, 2019 at 8:12 pm #746921
He’s horney. Sounds like you are proud he stuck his tongue down your throat,April 22, 2019 at 1:07 am #746937
He sounds like the type to watch alot of porno and we all know how much old annie loves a good porno hahahahaApril 22, 2019 at 2:25 am #746944
You want to know why a man French kissed you. How juvenile. Like most men you meet online he was hoping for a date and easy sex. How complicated is that to understand. He thought you would come over because like most women on here, they end up at thr guys house and having sex.April 23, 2019 at 3:47 am #747114
I’m a guy in my 50’s too, so I think I can offer you some perspective. He was testing the waters. He wanted to see how far you wanted to go.
I find dating women in their 40s and 50s way more relaxed than younger women. A lot of us are coming out of a bad marriage and have grown kids so we have the freedom to do the less strings type of relationship.
Good luck with you adventures in dating.April 23, 2019 at 9:57 am #747127
Personally I never did like non-paid dating sites like POF. I found enough flakes and losers on the paid sites! Lol Also if I didn’t find a guy attractive enough to want him to kiss me on the first date, I wouldn’t want to see him again. The physical attraction has to be there for me.
And I don’t think it matters the age of the guy, they all seem to want to take you back to their place for sex! The problem is reading this site you can see there are plenty of women who WOULD have sex with a guy on a first date. So you can’t really blame him for trying.
I always made a point of telling guys when I was online dating that I didn’t have casual sex and wasn’t going to be sleeping with him after the first few dates. This “3 date rule” is so prevalent now I always made it clear I wasn’t sleeping with him until we were in a relationship. That way I tried to weed out guys who only wanted casual or just wanted sex. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.April 23, 2019 at 5:24 pm #747165
Looks like Karen is the new Anne.
@Anne – The new you is way better. Don’t be a Karen. Karen is a git.April 23, 2019 at 11:22 pm #747203
Kaye, I assume you have a boyfriend or are married. Did you meet your husband or boyfriend online?
I don’t know many men who are online dating that will agree to a “relationship” before they sleep with you. They may agree to be exclusive sexually or date just you if it all works out, but men don’t agree to relationships if they haven’t slept with you and tried it out.
ESPECIALLY if the guy has it going on.. is attractive, smart, has a good job and personality.
These men would never agree to that. They don’t have to! They have women falling all over them.
If you are a 9 or a 10 and good in bed, maybe.. But before a good eligible man tries it out, never.
And we all want the most eligible men we can find, right? Well then, don’t get your hopes up thinking you can get these men to say he will be exclusive and in a relationship without sleeping with you(and not just once either).April 24, 2019 at 12:07 am #747207
Kathy – I beg to disagree….
My current BF committed to exclusive and came off all dating sites before I slept with him…
In general, men are a LOT more into girls who don’t sleep with them early…
My BF asked for home date on 2nd date and got a firm “no”…he later told me that I was the only girl that said no to that, and made him think that I was a gf material…
Unfortunately, nowadays women give it up too soon…April 24, 2019 at 10:27 am #747237
Yes I am married. After some bad experiences online dating I met my husband through a mutual friend. And I totally agree with Sisi! My husband is a very attractive guy, successful and “has it going on” as you say. We actually had an interesting conversation just yesterday about how he’s had women get drunk on first dates and be crawling all over him and he’s had to tell them NO! I agree with Sisi that quality guys are looking for a quality girl they can bring home to mom and see as gf and wife material. Some girl who sleeps with a guy too soon is going to make him think she does this with every guy she dates. When you don’t he realizes you’re different.
After about 20 years away from home going to college and establishing my career I moved back home and partnered up in my own business. So there are still a lot of people around here who I went to school with. Several of them are friends with my husband even though neither of us knew each other back then. But every once in awhile he will be having someone we went to school with doing some work for us at our business or around our home. And he will always ask if this is a guy I used to date or have a “history” with. He’s always relieved when I tell him no. What guy wants to be married to a woman who slept around with a bunch of guys he knows?
I don’t think it’s unrealistic to expect a man to be sexually exclusive and just date you until you can both decide if it works out. It’s not like you’re marrying the guy! If you sleep together a few times and he’s not feeling it or doesn’t see it going anywhere he’s free to break it off just as he could any time. Why is that unrealistic? A guy who is interested in you doesn’t want you sleeping with a bunch of guys and sleeping with him too! It’s a mutual arrangement.April 24, 2019 at 11:43 am #747248
I agree with kaye and others who say that if you uphold your value your chances of finding a good guy are much higher. It is strange that women do not see that. Would you like a man whore? the standards are different for men and women still, and yet none of us want a man whore. Then why do you think a man would want an “easy” woman? of course you don’t sleep with men on the first date usually, of course this is what you’d tell him, and of course he is just going to believe you. Duh! and how is 3 dates much more different? 2 or 3 extra hours of communications?
Sex is the most intimate thing among humans, you are letting someone INSIDE your body. What’s up with women who place no value on that?
You are also risking a lot, infections, emotions, heartbreak potentially. Would you not want to find out a little more about this person before letting him in? What is he is an abusive dick? LOL there are so many what ifs.
The longer you make a man wait the better it is for you LOL. I am not talking about years here, I am talking about months. If the guy is into you, he will only respect you for that. And he will value you afterwards. Knowing that you were not easy and that he had to work hard to get you.
If he is willing to jump to the next available option because you are not giving in to sex after 4th date, let him. This is not your guy. And of course 99% of men you meet will not be your guy. You’d have to weed through a lot of dudes to find that ONE guy who’d be yours.April 24, 2019 at 2:42 pm #747272
Kaye, I totally agree with you when you say “I don’t think it us unrealistic to expect a man to be sexually exclusive and just date you until you both decide if it works out”. I totally agree.. But I call that “dating” to see if you want to be in a relationship. I think a relationship is formed after a few months of this. And I think most guys think the same way.
I don’t think you can say you are in a “relationship” during this trial period(including sex) to both see what you want.
I guess it’s just a matter of semantics.April 24, 2019 at 2:43 pm #747273
* it is unrealistic*April 24, 2019 at 4:38 pm #747282
Seems like we agree and it is just a semantics issue. By saying “relationship” I was trying to exclude arrangements which were casual or FWB. By relationship I meant dating someone where we could both see long term potential. Not where the guy made it clear he wasn’t ready for a relationship, is a commitment phobe, wanted casual no strings or just wanted sex. And not where he was let’s just be friends and see where it goes. A “relationship” where both parties are looking for a long term exclusive committed relationship and trying to determine if this is the person they can see a future with. I don’t disagree it does take several months to see if you are compatible and fall in love with the person before you take it to the next step. I guess you don’t consider it a relationship until that point.