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- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
kaye.
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Denae
I am a bridesmaid in two weddings in the next two years. Both my best friends are engaged. I am so excited to be a part of this with them. Out of the three of them, I am definitely the most fashionable. They dress cute, but I have a huge closet, love shopping, have good style, and probably over 50 pairs of shoes and dozens of accessories. I love looking good and am often complimented on my great style, taste, and look daily. I know shape, body type, fabrics, the works. If someone tells me what they want, I can often tell them what looks good, and a great shape and style for them to look the best.
My friends know and acknowledge this. I was previously invited to a friends dress shopping experience before her wedding last year.
I am honest too with others, telling them what looks good and what doesn’t. I really thought my two girl friends, or at least one of them would ask me to dress shop with them. I didn’t expect to be the only person, but me, and whomever else they ask to go. One of my friends lost her mother last year suddenly, so doesn’t have her to go with, which is really sad. I really thought she would invite me and the other engaged friend, we all are friends for over 8 years to be in her mothers place.
Today, I found out neither one of them is asking me and I’m a bit shocked and hurt. My one friend has a mother and sister, so is bringing them, which I get. Not as surprised by this one.
But my motherless friend has no female family. She said today how she is bringing her future mother in law, her future sister in law-whom she barely sees barely talks to, who isn’t even in thr wedding at all, and her new sister in law from her brother, whom she also doesn’t know that well since her brother recently eloped.
I was kind of hurt that she didn’t ask me, who knows her so well, would be honest about style and have her best interest at heart as her good friend.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Tallspicy
Yep. The weddings are not about you.
And you might be coming off as overbearing about your “style”, which comes through on this post. I am not saying this to be harsh, as I too love fashion. But to people who that is not a core driver, it can come off as pushy and judgy into a dress they do not want.
Tallspicy
You could volunteer if it means that much to you.
Lane
Not everyone cares for fashion like you do and if your assistance isn’t elicited it means you are probably too overbearing, too pushy, and what they like will be met with a negative such as “oh no, this makes you look to fat, or too short, or this will fit you better” and will ruin the whole experience for her.
Sorry but you would be the last person I would ask too as you take it far too seriously when it should be a fun lighthearted experience. My son was married last week and his fiance’s gown was beautiful because she picked it which is how it should be. A little feed back is one thing but they really should be the one to pick what they like and chose the one they want whether you agree with it or not as that is the ultimate experience of being a bride. It sounds like you take it too seriously instead of stepping back and allowing the bride to enjoy the experience and picking the dress she wants without running the show or too much critical judgement.
kaye
I agree with what the others are saying but let me see if I can explain this to you with a story. My ex brother-in law was a chef. Once he came to town to visit and we wanted to take him to some of the nicest restaurants in our town. We made reservations weeks in advance. The first night we took him out it literally took him 15 minutes to order!! He was asking the waitress how things were prepared, what was in the sauce, if he could substitute this kind of fish, this kind of cream…she went back and forth to the kitchen asking the chef questions no less than 3 times. Then when the food came of course he was critical of it, explained how he would have made it better, how the prices were ridiculous, and I could go on and on. It was embarrassing and made the experience miserable for the rest of us.
Moral of the story… taking the “expert” on something with you doesn’t always enhance the experience. Sometimes you just want to leave the KNOW IT ALL at home and enjoy yourself!!!
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