Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Exclusive but not in a relationship, want to spent weekends working
- This topic has 1 reply and was last updated 2 years, 12 months ago by
Baru.
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Sushi
Hello All,
I really need some advice. I have been in a abusive relationship for a long time and never thought i could find someone nice. I finally found someone who seems perfect for me. We have been dating for around 2 months now. On our third date he asked me to be exclusive and i asked does that mean being bf and gf . He said may be after some more date. Now after so many dates he told me we are exclusive but not in a relationship and he needs time. For last 2 months we are meeting on weeekdays where i meet him after work at 7 and stay over his place until morning then go back to working or work until afternoon from his place. So we hardly get 2 to 3 hours before sleep to cook , eat watch movie and do cuddling. We have good time. Even on the weekends we meet in the evening up untill only breakfast either on friday evening or Saturday evening but thats all. I have told him directly that i want to spend more to get to know but he still says he has to work. Am i not his priority, might he be seeing someone els,. Is he losing interest?
Baru
Hi Sushi,
If he told you he needs time for relationship and only spends time with you in the evenings, it sounds to me like he’s having his cake and he’s eating it too. And by spending time with him only on his terms you’re accepting it.
I can understand why you don’t like this arrangement. It’s ok to spend only evenings together sometimes, but he should also be available for you to spend time with you during the day normally for more than 2-3 hours. And doing some fun activities together! When a man really likes you he wants to have fun with you, he will introduce you to his friends and family (if possible) and he will invest in you.
It’s true, that 2 months is not a whole lot of time, so instead of badgering him I would pull back, next time you’re expecting him to ask you to come over in the evening make some other plans and tell him something like this: “I’d love to spend time with you, and I already have other plans tonight. Why don’t we plan to do something fun this weekend?” And see what happens. If he still uses some lame excuse like he has to work, you have your answer and he’s not that interested and he just wants some easy company. It doesn’t mean he’s seeing other women, I wouldn’t accuse him of that if he said he wants to be exclusive and if you have no prove of that.
Men might not say it but they need a little bit of tension and a chance to chase you in a healthy way. Give him a chance to bond with you by only investing as much as he invests in you. If he doesn’t pick up his game, he might not be the right man for you.
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