EX COMPLICATED

I agree with newbie. When you first get into the whole exclusive status it should be fun, romantic, and exciting. Like not being able to keep your hands off each other and want to spend every second possible with each other.
Things turn south when drama or the need to control the outcome gets into the mix.

When you break up and try to work it out again, there is always that sinking feeling a breakup is coming, you go through waves of excitement and waves of negativity because something you did or the situation triggers doubt. Once doubt gets its creepy little hands in the middle of it all, you can expect a sabotage. so why get emotionally involved and attached just to get heart broken again?

Why not keep looking for someone else who is new and exciting? Plenty are out there and nobody is a unicorn.

And what guy is going to turn down easy sex with someone familiar?

Your options are:

Give him some time, do not message him no matter how much you feel the need to and when he texts you, don’t be negative toward him if for some reason you are a sucker for pain. Patterns don’t lie. Pay attention to what he said and how long it took him.

keep doing your own thing like he doesn’t even matter. Treat him how he treats you and just let him fade out of your life and keep moving on because he’s a sh×tty boyfriend if he really is one.

If deep conversations or asking a question about why he is acting a certain way toward you are uncomfortable, too difficult for him to answer, or you get a bs reply skirting around it, he’s not boyfriend material and does not give a sh×t about meeting your needs. How can you meet his when he won’t even properly communicate?

I’d ditch this guy. He may be attracted to you, but from what you posted, he doesn’t see you as a potential partner either.

I don’t think hes into you much based on your post. and I certainly don’t feel hes using you for sex. you invited him to spend the night with you to which he agreed. most men would have accepted non committal easy sex. Please note that he dint initiate even that, you did.

I think you need to cut your losses here and move on. your just chasing him and trying to get him to reconnect with you when he seems pretty disinterested. making him say things is not going to help I feel. you will just feel more frustrated and bad about self.

you must stop initiating all contact with him. if he texts reply. but avoid long monologues and detailed conversations vide texts. don’t nag and don’t pls keep asking what he feels for you or make him say things that he doesn’t want to. that makes you sounds needy and insecure and will only put him off more. see him only when he makes plans to see you. keep your messages brief and let him take the conversation ahead.

try it out for a couple of months and see how things flow. basically you put the ball in his court and just follow his cues. you will have all your answers then I think.

We’re not back together, we just had that talk. I told him I felt him kinda off and he just told me he’s confused and that dating is the last thing in his mind rn. I told him i’ll move on then and he told me he didn’t want that, that he wants to start over slowly. i told him i agree but that he has to make an effort to see me too and he said ok. But im not sure, I don’t want to force him to do something he doesn’t want to. I’m so confused what should i do?

Thats why we talked about it last night, i understand where he’s coming from because I gave him a hard time at the end of our relationship and he’s scared I won’t change. It seems like we both agreed on how we want to do things. But now I’m just overthinking everything and I don’t want to bring it up again, should I just let things flow and see where they go???

You learned a valuable lesson in why you should let exes be exes.

B