Easier


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This topic contains 69 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lisa 2 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 70 total)
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  • #738993 Reply

    Jenna

    I think it’s easier to give advice when you’re not the person involved. For that reason could you guys help me write an email or note to my ex-boyfriend letting him know I don’t want him to sext with me? He is in a relationship and I would like us to maintain friendship, but I want to underline that respect is important to me and that he’s not being respectful.

    #738995 Reply

    girlnextdoor

    You don’t have to send him any email or text. You told him once, if he couldn’t respect your boundaries then, he doesn’t deserve you as a friend.

    He doesn’t seem to be a person with a strong moral compass as he is cheating on his current partner. Looks like he has no regard for other people’s feelings, neither yours, nor his girlfriend’s. I wouldn’t want to be friends with such a person.

    #738999 Reply

    Raven

    He has a GF but is sexting you?
    What a catch…

    Ask him, “Does your GF know you are sending me these messages?”

    #739014 Reply

    Jenna

    He’s like this. I understand I am aware and there is a reason I broke up with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did similar things while we were together. That being said, we have a lot of mutual friends and history and it’s easier to maintain friendship then stir up problems.

    #739015 Reply

    Hello

    If you insist on being friends then just ignore the sext messages. If he doesn’t get a response he will get bored and go elsewhere. This isn’t complicated. You are just making it complicated. Justbecause someone sends a text doesn’t mean you have to respond.

    #739016 Reply

    Khadija

    That’s pretty sad that you feel like you have to be friends with such an ass.

    Ignore the messages and distance yourself from him.

    #739020 Reply

    kaye

    Dear Ex,

    Because we still have mutual friends, I want us to be able to stay friends and things not be awkward when we are around each other. But we both know a platonic friendship doesn’t include sexting!! It’s not only disrespectful to me, it’s also disrespectful to your current girlfriend to send those type messages. Please stop sending inappropriate messages or I will have to block you.

    #739022 Reply

    Honeypie

    Sorry but what are you 12? You really don’t need advice on how to tell some cheating loser to stop sexting you. To me you are enjoying the attention otherwise you’d simply not text back to any of it. Please, you aren’t sitting there in turmoil at all. This is such a non issue, simply don’t respond.

    #739023 Reply

    L

    How about: I’m curious if you are still really into me and is that why you keep giving me attention and sexting with me? If so. Please let me know because I love the attention.

    #739039 Reply

    anon

    Next time he sexts you, forward the messages to his GF with a sweet “Oh, I think these were meant for you hon!”

    #739045 Reply

    Jenna

    So far I have been ignoring the messages. He hadn’t gotten the hint and this is about the fourth time I’ve woken up to these messages.

    For those saying I am enjoying the intention, you sound like a victim blamers. How can I be responsible for the actions of someone else?

    I told him today simply that I’d like to continue talking
    respectfully and friendly. He agreed. Hopefully it should be fine.

    I am not going to forward messages onto the new girlfriend. I was here for the bunny boiler thread. Trust me getting involved in that mess is the last thing I want to do.

    #739047 Reply

    Jenna

    I should note I am the one who broke up with him. I’m not looking to see if he wants to get back together. I broke up with him because of things like this.

    #739048 Reply

    Hello

    I don’t understand why you are even texting with him. What purpose do you have for even texting with him? So what he is a friend in a circle of friends. You aren’t a victim you are a drama queen. The problem you have is you are all talk and no action. You already told him once not to do this. You should have either blocked or stopped responding to him when he decided to continue. Trust me. He loves this little game you play with him. It probably tickles him that he keeps doing this and you keep responding back with a pissed off text message. You can still stay cordial in face to face situations but not have to interact with him. What else is he supposed to even talk wih5h you about? The weather?

    #739064 Reply

    Emma

    Guys know that for as long as you are responding you are still “hooked” so it boosts their ego. One woman in a relationship, another one is lusting after him (this is what he thinks). He feels like a MAN LOL a small man that he is, he needs to feel big LOL

    #739069 Reply

    Better off Single

    Every time he sexts you send him a picture of Jesus or a picture of an extremely obese woman in a bikini.

    #739071 Reply

    Honeypie

    Oh no no no to you and your comment of victim blaming. Ignore him or block him- it’s no big deal and extremely easy to sort this, yet you choose not to. Stop attemtping to look like some kind of stalked victim, you simply aren’t and it’s offensive of you to imply so.

    #739078 Reply

    Jenna

    “He loves this little game you play with him.”

    What game am I playing? What am I doing?

    I literally wake up to these messages. I have told you all I have ignored them. Why does everybody here like to villainize people who post questions on this message board? It is really disconcerting.

    The reason I maintain communication with him is none of your business. Real life is complicated and sometimes it’s messier and harder to burn bridges.

    #739079 Reply

    Jenna

    I am absolutely astounded by the comments I’ve gotten on here. There is absolutely no reason to extrapolate any of the nonsense that you guys are posting toward me. I’m trying to get attention from him, I’m playing games with him, I am childish, etc.

    Because I posted that an ex-boyfriend was sending me sexual and graphic messages? Suddenly, I’m in image her child who seeks attention? If that were the case, it seems I wouldn’t be having any problems here at all. Life would be peachy and I’d be getting all the attention I could ever want. Why would I be asking how to stop it!

    Why didn’t you leave him? Why did you stay? Why don’t you just tell him off? Why don’t you just block him and ignore him? Why don’t you just ignore the things he says? All of these questions put the onus on the wrong person. The problem isn’t the person who’s the recipient of bad behavior.

    I spent this morning writing out possible responses to maintain a cordial friendliness and nothing I wrote sounded good. I decided to have people who were impassionate help me come up with a reply.

    Boy little did I know how impassioned you all are!

    #739080 Reply

    Better off single

    What I suggested is something I would have done.

    I would have tried the obese woman in the bikini first and if that didn’t work, I would have sent the picture of Jesus. If you got a lol after either of those it breaks the ice because you made him laugh and then, you can tell him it just makes you uncomfortable and to please stop.

    If it doesn’t, keep sending really crude pictures that could possibly turn him off to the idea of wanting to sext with you.

    #739083 Reply

    Anon

    Don’t feel bad Jenna. These trolls are all so miserable in their own lives that they take pleasure in bringing you down. Just be firm and clear with him about the sexting and continue to be cordial when you see him in person.

    #739098 Reply

    Honeypie

    I’ve never heard such nonsense. He isn’t coming round your house is he? Stalking you? Turning up places and bothering you in other ways? If so the you have a point but if it’s just waking up to an ex an ex sexting you, simply reply that you have to block him due to him not listening to you state you don’t want it and so it. It is no big deal, you are making it such. This is silly and you sound a bit precious. If there is nothing more to it, and you are not afraid of him then you can deal with this with ease yet choose not to, and people here including myself don’t understand why you are making a song and dance about it with the facts you’ve provided.

    #739102 Reply

    tammy

    yeah.. if I was in your place I wld have simply told him vide message that such kind of sexts and sexually explicit forwards make you uncomfortable so please avoid sending such messages in future. simple and easy. :-). I have had men sending me sexual forwards and if I wasn’t comfortable I simply told them not to send them. most people wont send again.

    #739117 Reply

    Jenna

    I want to thank Kaye for the good advice. I did send him something similar. Sorry that I got sucked into the negativity and overlooked the positive response. That was rude of me.

    As a teacher I should know better than to give attention to the ones who missed behave. LOL.

    #739118 Reply

    Jenna

    *misbehave

    #739124 Reply

    T from NY

    I am a huge advocate for respectful discourse on this forum but found nothing over the top in peoples responses to you. Bottom line you are allowing this behavior by not giving him any consequence. It is not starting drama or making problems or making things awkward between friends for you to respond appropriately to a man being inappropriate and disrespectful to you.

    And I find it very sad that you do not let his new gf know what a horrible guy she is dating. Think if you were in her place, really cared about your partner and had hopes and dreams and someone knew it was all a facade and chose just “not to get involved”. Happened to my friend when she was 8 months pregnant with she and her husbands 2nd child. Found out not only did he have a 19 yr old mistress (they were 33) — but his entire rugby team and thier wives knew and no one told her.

    But I digress.

    Stand up to sexual harrassment on behalf of all women when you can. You can do it in ways that cause the least fall out. (Anonymous to girlfriend. Telling him — if you send one more of these I will send on the group text etc) But whatever shiste goes down after you put him would not be your fault. If people in your friend group blamed you — now that would be victim blaming. But it would be for doing the right thing.

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