This topic contains 12 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Kelly 6 months, 1 week ago.
July 22, 2019 at 6:27 am #757795
I had started to really like a woman who my friend was friends with.
I told her on a night out and we kissed.
She had only recently (5 weeks) got out of a serious relationship (which was at times violent)
From that time we started to hang around together (5 of us women) and we started to sleep together.
We always met in the group.
Then she asked me to the cinema just the two of us.
It was great and we slept together again.
Then we went on another date and she called me her “half girlfriend “ and really opened up about her life.
This has gone on for 3 months and we text daily.
Last week I tried to find out where it was heading and asked her out again.
She got really odd and said I was asking too many questions and I needed to chill out and relax.
She’s always been reluctant to say we were going on “dates”
She is still messaging me every day and initiating conversation.
I went out the other night and she was asking where I was and what time I got in etc.
I’ve been told that she hates talking about things and might not be ready for a relationship.
Can anyone help?
My head is a mess.
When I was ill in hospital she was messaging me all the time checking on me.
Is she unsure?July 22, 2019 at 6:36 am #757796
She’s only 5 weeks out of a violent relationship…July 22, 2019 at 6:39 am #757797
It’s about 17 weeks now.
It was 5 weeks when we first started to speak /kiss etc
When I say violent it was her GF sometimes used to slap her and shout at her,be aggressive etc.
They were together 2 years,and before that 4 years but a 2 year break in between.July 22, 2019 at 7:19 am #757798
she does like you but not in the way you want to be liked , if you know what I meanJuly 22, 2019 at 7:54 am #757799
What makes you think not in that way?
Surely her saying “half girlfriend” means more than friends?
Also once I joking said to her “calm down mate”
And she said
“Don’t call me mate,we aren’t mates”
And we’ve been kissing and sleeping together.July 22, 2019 at 9:39 am #757807
Does anyone have any opinions ?July 22, 2019 at 10:05 am #757810
I think she likes you but either is not ready for a relationship or might not want one with you. No one on here is going to be able to tell her what goes on in her head. 4 months is not a long time to get over a relationship, especially not an abusive one. She might just want to stay independent and casual for now. i mean “half girlfriend” doesnt sound too promising does it?! i guess? I would interpret that as “have sex part if a relationship but not the commitment part”? no?i mean what did that mean to you?July 22, 2019 at 10:07 am #757811
Someone who tells you they’re not ready for a relationship should be avoided. That’s not an invitation to try to change their minds, it’s a signal that if you keep messing with them, you’re going to get hurt.
You’re reading too much into the contact she had with you while you were in the hospital. Apparently it didn’t mean anything other than polite concern. So you’re going to have to let go of that as a sign of serious caring.
This person is giving you massive mixed signal so you need to be responsible for yourself and pull back. Tell her you can’t see her or talk with her for a while until she’s had some time to let the dust settle on her last relationship. Tell her you can’t just be friends now as you’ve been intimate. If you need to block her, then that’s what you have to do if she won’t respect your wishes.July 22, 2019 at 10:39 am #757817
She is totally giving me mixed signals.
Today she messaged me soon as she got up.
Then at work,on her lunch and now.
I mean I like my friends but I don’t talk to them that much .
Last time I seen her she told me a woman tried it on with her but she refused because of me.
So obviously I’m going to think she is into me.
She’s messing with my head …probably not on purpose but she is.
Since I said to her I’m feeling like a idiot and need to know what’s going on she’s been messaging more than ever.
She did say in convo
Until I know I want to be 100% commited I won’t be with them.July 22, 2019 at 4:34 pm #757846
She’s been messaging lots today
Started speaking tonight tooJuly 22, 2019 at 9:04 pm #757867
Sounds like she’s into but afraid of a commitment right now and possibly getting hurt again. Continue on as you have been without bringing up the what are we talk. In time she’ll calm down and become certain she can trust you and you’ll be in a committed relationship.July 22, 2019 at 9:29 pm #757870
You are a fwb. Nothing to be confused about. Someone willletyou know if they really want to be with you.July 23, 2019 at 2:48 am #757904
Do you not think she’s speaking a lot for being a fwb?
Why say the “half girlfriend” and why not sleep with the other woman,saying I didn’t because of you.