This topic contains 13 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lurker 5 months, 2 weeks ago.
January 9, 2019 at 2:42 pm #735495
We got to know each other on the Internet. We couldn’t see each other right away because I was not at home over the holidays. While I was on my trip, we chatted and flirted for hours. I’m usually very skeptical about online dating, but it seemed great! He even offered to stay with him when I returned. I said let’s have a drink first. On my return I met him and the chemistry was right, after a few hours we went to him, talked and ended up in bed. The sex was very good in my opinion, he also described it as intense. The next morning we went for breakfast and spent a few hours together in town before saying goodbye.
On the same evening he also wrote to me and also the following days we wrote, but the flirting stayed completely away and he did not ask me directly after a second date. He just said he had to work a lot. Then I said that hopefully he would still find time for us to meet. I may sound like a teenager, but I’d like to go on a second date to see how it goes. I really liked the first one. But since he doesn’t flirt so much in the chat anymore, I’m not sure if he wants to see me again or if he just wants to be polite.
So can someone please just give me a few words of wisdom to ease my troubled mind? Does he seems to be interested? Or Maybe I am just a impatientJanuary 9, 2019 at 2:53 pm #735498
Oh god, im really not the sex police but you decided to have sex with a guy you knew for a few hours, besides some flirting in texts. Thats a one night stand. Dont ask this guy for a second date. That should come from him. But to me it looks like just one night was fine. If the flirting stopped that doesnt mean he didnt like it, it just means he wants your expectations low so that in case he asks again for you to hop over, you will go for sex. Its been said a lot on this forum; you cant sext a guy into a relationship. They will take it, but they dont feel the same kind of bonding a woman can have with having sex. Sex is everywhere so it doesnt exactly make you stand out of the crowd. Im blunt here, but there are tons of articles that give you insight in what attracts a guy, also on this website, so read up on thatJanuary 9, 2019 at 2:58 pm #735500
Honey, you allowed yourself to be played…January 9, 2019 at 3:22 pm #735512
Another one bites the dust.
This is typical hook up behavior for online dating.
He may call you when or if he wants to hook up again but, I’m willing to bet he is on to the next.
My suggestion going forward is to take your time and get to know someone before you land in bed.January 9, 2019 at 3:26 pm #735513
We don’t place as much value on things given to us for free, as we do on things we had to earn or work for.
You hopped into bed with him on the first night. He got you easy. Why would he work hard for you now?
Chalk it up as a lesson learned and next time keep an aspirin clamped between your knees.
Make a man EARN your time, your trust, and your body. If you give it away like it’s free on the first meeting, you devalue yourself not only in their eyes, but your own.January 9, 2019 at 3:32 pm #735515
This is on you, if you are going to have sex with a man you only know a few hours, then you really can’t place any expectations of him. If you let go of expectations, is the only time he will call, and you still can’t place any expectations of him. If a man is consistent for 3-4 months, then maybe you can.January 9, 2019 at 4:03 pm #735523
You met someone on the internet and decided together you were going to have sex. That’s apparently all he was interested in. It’s called “hit it and quit it”. Sex isn’t a contract or guarantee you will see a man again or that he’s even interested in a relationship. He’s now “busy working” so you won’t get a second date to see how it goes – if he does call again it will be because he wants to have sex again.
You’re a big girl. You decided to meet him, go to his place and go to bed with him. If you can’t handle it, you shouldn’t make these choices.January 9, 2019 at 5:56 pm #735545
I got sexual with my last boyfriend on the first day we met, not fully intimate but far enough, I took it for what it was, a bit of fun and didn’t expect there to be any more. The next day he was keen to see me again but I refused dinner as I was tired and he turned up at my hotel (I was in town on business and leaving the following day) with a beautiful bottle of wine and food because he just had to see me, but he wouldn’t sleep with me. In the days that followed he remained in contact with me and came to visit me 2 weeks later, we were in a relationship from there on for 2 years.
My point is that if a man wants you, you will know it and you can do what you like with your body (as long as you take care of yourself of course) but you have to not expect anything more from it. If you can’t separate your feelings you will end up burnt. I will be direct with you, it doesn’t seem like he is interested in anything more from you. And if you go into panic mode you will push him even further away. Just chill and let him come to you, if he doesn’t you have to take it for what it is and next time don’t get sucked in by thinking you have a connection with someone via text flirting.January 9, 2019 at 9:15 pm #735564
Once in a while, a woman somewhere will put out on the first date and end up in a relationship. And she will brag. But those cases are rare.January 9, 2019 at 9:39 pm #735566
Was that aimed at me Andrea?? Kudos!
If it was or it wasn’t directed at me let me just reiterate that I am only giving the picture of what it looks like when a man wants you and it does work out. Absolutely it’s rare and I probably wouldn’t play around now like I did then and OP has to realise that if you play the game you have to match your opponent.January 10, 2019 at 6:27 am #735592
so thanks for the text/advices.
You are totally Right. Usually I am really not the Kind of Person that puts high expectations on stuff like this. But I guess I just crushed too fast into the whole Thing this time. I feel really stupid. But I guess it will pass!! Thanks anyway!!January 10, 2019 at 9:54 am #735609
So me and this guy have been dating but he doesn’t want to tell anyone because he doesn’t want to lose his friends.
it makes me feel that im not important to him,
What should I do?January 10, 2019 at 10:40 am #735614
If you’re over 12, dump him. Because you aren’t important to him in the least. Beyond lame.January 11, 2019 at 5:37 am #735716
Why does he think he’d lose his friends?
I’ve been a secret girlfriend before but there were religious reasons.
If a guy isn’t proud to be with you, you shouldn’t give him a moment more of your time.