This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Scrappy 3 months, 3 weeks ago.
April 20, 2018 at 7:49 pm #698237
Ok, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months now, he is quite older than me, he has been so good to me and everything, but suddenly this week, he messaged me Monday and Tuesday, but on Wednesday,and half of Thursday no message from him, on Thursday he messaged me at 9:15 pm at night saying ”gorgeous,I have been thinking about you” and I replied an hour later”hi baby,how have you been? and still today the ticks of Whatsapp remain grey, like as if he has not seen the message, this is all very weird, he always messages me at least something. or sends me a video or whatever, he told me the past Sunday that this week he was going to be very busy or so I have heard, but still, there has to be something wrong, cause to me everything was fine, his mother knows of me, I have even talked to her, cause she does not live here. he even asked me if I wanted to live with him. I’m telling you everything seemed fine, but all of this is giving me bad negative thoughts.
what should I do? or what is happening here.I rather him always initiate messages, so I never do myself. maybe since he is older, he feels insecure that I am younger. I don’t know.
April 20, 2018 at 7:54 pm #698239
You are over-thinking-live your life. It sounds like all is well and he is busy at the moment.April 20, 2018 at 7:57 pm #698240
I doubt you being younger makes him insecure– it’s very accepted for older men to date younger women.
He’s just got stuff going on ! Don’t freak out because you didn’t hear from him for a day and a half.
I dont’ know how old he is and how old you are but I do think people under say, 30 like to text a lot more than those older than 30. That’s a generalization! But I do know a lot of people my age (I’m 42) who really aren’t big on meaningless back and forth chit chat texting.
So that’s where the age difference may play into things.April 20, 2018 at 8:07 pm #698243
Do you two ever speak over the phone or in person?April 20, 2018 at 8:59 pm #698247
@Raven,@Ali We mostly communicate through whatsapp, he has called me, when he is coming to pick me up.
But I am just tired of waiting, tomorrow is Saturday we always go out, so now what am I going to do, he knows our routine, but still at least a day before like today he asks me when are we going to see each other.
What will I do if he has not even replied to message that I sent him yesterday, he messaged me yesterday at 9:15 pm at night saying”gorgeous. I have been thinking about you, an at 10:13 pm I replied back; ”hi baby,how are you? and til now HE has not replied. I mean its Friday an how busy can he be, other weeks he has texted me normal, inspite of anything. I am not getting this.I don’t want to make up excuses for him and I also don’t want to message him again, either he replies or I wont.April 20, 2018 at 9:12 pm #698250
I would leave him be. Make other plans for Saturday. You have been dating for two months…not very long.
Let him come to you. Make plans as you wish and if he misses out well that is on him.April 20, 2018 at 9:28 pm #698253
@Ali UPDATE! I had not seen his whatsapp LAST SEEN status and it says that the last time he was seen on whatsapp was today at 7:01 am, he has not gotten online since that time, so Weird, he usually connects through out the day. Something must be going on with him or he has gotten caught up with some work or something.April 20, 2018 at 9:54 pm #698256
Are you sure he’s physically ok?April 21, 2018 at 4:28 am #698262
Only 2 months of dating and you’re already getting uptight about contacts and weekends. Guys have other things to do on some weekends, not always needing or wanting to be with a girlfriend. Stop with your expectations! Be fun when you see each other and stop stressing. Neediness and clinging will destroy a relationship!April 21, 2018 at 12:56 pm #698270
@peggy He, reached out to me last night and today morning! He seemed fine, he then tells me that he was super busy this past week, so today in the morning he says hi again, and explains how his week was and told me that today he was finishing a report, and that he had an event and he did not know when he was coming back. He then tells me that he could come and pick me up at 7:00pm and if it was alright with me. And i replied “” ok but dont come so late”” he replied. “” ok beautiful , thanks. An hour later he sends me another message saying: i was wrong gorgeous, it’s tomorrow when i am super busy ( he’s referring to tomorrow sunday). So i don’t understand what is all this crazyness./ what do you understand from all of this? Is he putting up excuses or is he meaning what he is saying and being truthful. Or he testing me, i am angry and feeling uneasy.April 21, 2018 at 2:10 pm #698281
OMG!! You told (ordered) him not to come so late?? Even though he’s busy, he still contacts you and wants to see you and yet, you’re still not satisfied. You’re feeling uneasy and angry. You’re obsessed by keeping track of his every move on WhatsApp. He asked to see you and then you wonder if he’s being truthful and think he’s testing you?
If you keep acting like this, I predict this relationship won’t last and he’ll dump you.April 21, 2018 at 2:37 pm #698289
Sophie honey, You got to breath!
You’re being needy & demanding… He contacted you, apologized, gave you the 411…
What else things do you have in your life?April 21, 2018 at 2:39 pm #698291
@Joe, did you read the message well or not? read it all, your focusing on the late part, what about him changing, the event was today and now is tomorrow?? either he has lost it or he is acting like this o to something else going on.April 21, 2018 at 2:48 pm #698294
Yes, I read the entire thing. Do you not ever mix up the days, especially when you’re busy? Give the poor guy a break and don’t be so suspicious. I repeat, if you become a thorn in his side he will dump you. Try to be more relaxed and trusting!April 21, 2018 at 2:48 pm #698295
I stand by my original post-you over-thought,are acting panicked and rude-and that is confusing and putting him off now too. Sophie-I think he back pedalled because he is busy and /or he got a negative vibe from the “don’t be late “statement.
You are lacking confidence and it will affect your dating,if you don’t get things together. My 2 cents worth…April 22, 2018 at 3:37 am #698326
OMG! Chill already. I always think ‘what’s the worst that can happen’ In this case, he dumps you…but YOU are giving him reasons to dump you. Two months do not equal a lifetime OR a LONG relationship. ‘ordering’ him to NOT BE LATE-is just shooting yourself in the foot. YOU are showing him the future with you. I don’t know anybody who would be ready to jump into marital ‘bliss’ with a partner so needy after dating 2 months.
AND- you DO NOT have a ‘routine established’because you have been together for just 2 months!
Why not spend this week without him doing things YOU want to do? WHAT did you do before you started dating him? Be an individual- capable of maintaining- clearly, he IS an individual, doing his own thing and sometimes people are busy-that’s life. Perhaps if you supported his word, maybe ask if there is anything you can do to help him- anything-water plants, walk the dog, etc…if he says no, then enjoy the free time for YOU!
Honestly, my opinion is that you should get used to spending much more time without him, b/c the odds are not in your favor. Sorry-sometimes the truth is hard to hear. But, you need to be your OWN person b4 you can be someone else’s person.