Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Do some guys not get hard as fast as others?
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by Danita.
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Anya
So, I’m grey-ace, and my boyfriend is the first person I’ve ever been sexually interested in. We’re not really at the stage yet where we’re planning to have sex any time soon, but we have been doing a fair bit of kissing and grinding recently. Our relationship is only 6 months in, and normally this would feel really fast to me as I’m not a particularly physically affectionate person, but he makes me feel secure about these things, so I’ve been feeling pretty good about it.
One thing, though, was I wanted to see if his pupils were dilated while we were going at it once (mostly bc I am in science and the funny thought popped into my head that I wanted to see if it was true), and they weren’t. This isn’t overly concerning to me, but when I laughingly mentioned it to a friend, she asked if he was hard, and I had to stop and think about it, bc we haven’t been naked together, but I don’t think so.
He seemed pretty into it, especially as he initially started it, and I’m confident he loves me. So, I don’t know. Is this the kind of thing that varies from guy to guy? Can he be aroused or into the kissing and not be hard and that just be totally normal, or should I be concerned?
Miss_AIf you had clothes on, it’s possible he was hard and you just couldn’t tell. But if I was making out / grinding with a guy and he wasn’t hard at all, I’d be concerned. Maybe I’m just paranoid because I wasted two years in an almost sexless relationship with a guy with severe ED. I don’t ever want to deal with that again – at least, not for a long time (I’m only 30). May I ask how old you are? And what does grey-ace mean?
cupcakeI think you are overthinking ( watched his pupils? i mean come on now). Just enjoy and be in the moment. Dont create drama where there is none
AnyaI’m in my mid-twenties, and he’s one year older than me. And grey-ace sort of just means I’ve never really experienced much sexual attraction or interest in others. Not absolutely none, but besides my current bf, pretty close to never.
Miss_AI think you’re fine, just keep taking things at whatever pace you’re comfortable with. If the time comes when you get naked together and he’s not hard at all, then I would say it’s cause for concern. But at this point, just keep enjoying your relationship and see what happens.
NewbieGrey ace means you have little sexual desire but you like his to be big? Im so lost in the new generation lol
DanitaI am 33 and I had too google what the gray ace is.
Sorry for not posting anything of value. I am just amused. -
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