Did I over react?

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  redcurleysue 6 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #682925 Reply


    I have been living with my BF for two years now. In the beginning of the relationship he bragged about his previous flings and exes. He mentioned how witty he was and that he has also had sex in a restaurant washroom. Now we have had fights over that. Yesterday we went out, we didn’t have our kids and hence I decided to dress up and change the norm. I became very sexual, teasing him throughout the night and he kept shutting it down with a smile on his face. He claims that he was playing along by shutting it down but I didn’t feel it that way. I kept trying til he actually put it at stop that you are making me touch you with my dirty hands I just filled in gas. I stopped right there. Came home and started watching tv but i didn’t say a word. He kept pushing it and trying to touch my leg but I was angry so I told him please leave me alone right now. Anyways argument started and he said you were doing all that to just have that experience that i have had in my past. Now that I think about it yes maybe it is true but am I wrong in that? Is it not ok that I wanted to create our memory. Obviously I wouldn’t have been able to do what that girl was able to I am a mother of three kids but I tried to be sensual and he shut it down. Then he started giving his reasons that 1) he is thinking about making money and it is a weeknight and work is on his mind rather than being like that 2) his stomach was hurting (he never mentioned that to me) 3) we had an argument last night and that he wasn’t feeling the spark. I know it is a very trivial matter but am I right to have this feeling that he isn’t putting any effort? I have two kids and he has one and between three kids we hardly have time to be adults and date each other. When the kids weren’t here I decided to make it special but it all turned out to be a fight.

    #682927 Reply


    He didn’t wash his hands before sitting down to have a meal?

    #682928 Reply


    No after the meal he filled in gas when we were going home….. honestly all that doesn’t matter to me what matters is which he doesn’t understand that I was going out of my character to make it sexy for us but in his mind he kept thinking I am doing this to get even. I think even if I was if my man would make an effort to get even with an ex or something I would feel happy about it.

    #682933 Reply


    What are you getting even about? You aren’t creating memories by duplicating what he did with another woman. At least be original. Sounds like you fight a lot about nothing.

    #682935 Reply


    Why are you trying to act out of character? He’s with you because he likes you, not someone else. He may have felt turned off you weren’t being yourself and you were trying too hard.

    I’m sure when whatever happened with his ex happened, it was spontaneous and natural. What you were trying to do is stage something and that won’t feel the same.

    Stop comparing yourself with his exes and just be you. Nothing is more attractive than confidence in a person.

    #682936 Reply


    I really don’t understand this getting even thing either. What’s that about?

    #683463 Reply


    Be yourself if you want to create your own memories the stop copying what the other girls did to him. And It’s good if you don’t talk about exes it will just create a fight.

    #683477 Reply


    You are the perfect example of why sharing information about sexual experiences with exes is a BAD, BAD idea!! It’s been 2 years and you still can’t let this go to the point you’re trying to stage some sexy encounter even when he kept shutting you down. Do you know how annoying it is to not be in the mood and be trying to eat dinner and put gas in your car and have someone throwing themselves all over you? Then you get home and he’s wanting to touch you and you’re wanting to be left alone. Do you really want to re-create something to remind him of being with another woman? That makes no sense to me. And he shouldn’t have to give you a list of excuses. If he isn’t in the mood, isn’t feeling it, etc he shouldn’t have to tell you if he’s thinking about work or doesn’t feel great after dinner or whatever. You can’t force yourself on someone. If this were a man trying to do this to a woman they’d all be yelling sexual harassment!! How about next time you want a sexy night out you share with him that information so you both can be on the same page? And use some creativity instead of bringing up his past sexual experiences. Gross.

    #683501 Reply


    I agree…make your own personal memories. As as for him bragging about his past….oh who cares?

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