This topic contains 2 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Cracks in the Crystal Ball 3 months, 3 weeks ago.
March 22, 2019 at 8:40 pm #743741
During my time as a Master’s student in the UK, I went to a friend’s house party on a Saturday and met a guy there (let’s call him James). James is friends with my mutual friends and a mutual friend of ours introduced us. We got chatting and found that we had a lot in common. I could see (via body language) that he was getting more comfortable with me and it became more obvious that an attraction had formed when he started flirting with me, though subtly.
We spent the whole evening chatting and the attraction grew. I noticed that when I was talking to other friends, he would always be next to me (either standing or sitting) and would join in the conversation even if it didn’t involve him. He invited me to dance with him and once we got tired, we sat down next to each other. He put his arm around me while my hand was on his lap. It felt very natural and I felt very comfortable with him. Before all of this, he had asked for my Facebook details and added me.
During our conversation, he mentioned that he would have to sit for four exams in July 2016 because he was ill when we all sat the exams in January 2016, as well as complete a dissertation. He also said that he would be leaving the UK at the end of the course to return to France for work. So with that, in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect anything to continue after our conversation which is why before he left the party, he wished me all the best for the future and said that he had enjoyed getting to know me. Also, mutual friends told me that he had gotten out of a relationship in February 2016 so I imagined that he may have not been interested in anything serious.
On Monday the next week, he messaged me on Facebook and we spoke for about an hour. I was ecstatic that he had reached out despite how final his goodbye was. I thought that we may speak again during the week but he didn’t message me again.
I saw him the next week in the university’s library and he was his usual friendly self. We were in the study area of the library so we didn’t talk but I caught him looking at me and smile longingly so I felt that the spark was still there. He left the library later and I messaged him to ask how he was. The conversation was very flat and he didn’t seem interested in talking to me so I told him that I’d leave him to get on with his work.
From that day onwards, he didn’t message me again (until my birthday in September 2016) and whenever I would see him in the library, he never tried to talk to me or get my attention. I began to think that he lost interest, but got confused when I saw him at a party a month later.
I went to the party with my male friend (let’s call him Mark). He and James know each other so they got talking while I was to the bar. I went over to say hello to James and he wasn’t as friendly and was close to being a bit cold. Strangely, after that, I noticed that he was always everywhere my friends and I were during the party (e.g. near us at the bar, at the pool table, etc). He came over with his friends to take pictures with us seeing as we would all be leaving soon and he proceeded to talk to me then.
By the end of the night, we all went to our student union for a party and he came with his friends. While I was dancing with some friends, my friend Sandra told me that she saw him looking around as if he was looking for someone who ended up being me because she said that she saw him dancing with some friends looking over at me. Soon after, I noticed that he and some friends made their way over to where my friends and I were dancing. I bumped into his friend who pushed me towards James to dance. We were dancing together when randomly, he walked off with his friend following behind. I then saw him later on in the night, flirting and dancing with another girl.
That night and his overall behaviour made me ask a number of questions:
Why was he behaving hot and cold?
Did he like me but not pursue me because of his busy workload (exams and dissertation) and the fact that he was going to leave the UK soon?
Was he jealous of my interaction with my male friend, Mark, because he liked me? Or was he just jealous that my attention wasn’t on him?
Did he not pursue me because I thought something was going on between Mark and I? I ask this because I started to hang out with Mark a lot in the library while we worked on our dissertations and James would’ve seen us when he was there?
If he didn’t want anything at all/serious, why did he act jealous?
James followed me on Instagram after we left uni but out of annoyance, I unfollowed him on Instagram after some time and he ended up unfollowing me.March 22, 2019 at 9:57 pm #743744
You are reading too much into these interactions.March 23, 2019 at 6:28 am #743758
Cracks in the Crystal Ball
Life happens. So just live yours.