Dating a busy guy

I am still online and looking, but haven’t been asked out. I am getting emotionally invested and I hate that I am. I am trying to keep myself busy and do things with friends, but It’s hard. I know I need to distance myself a bit and keep on trucking.

No, he hasn’t been too busy to hang out. We see each other once a week. He might be seeing other people, but we’re not exclusive so that’s “ok”. I am trying to meet other people, just haven’t been asked out yet.

Take a bold step and go out where the men are….fishing conventions, sports, race car track, shooting range….go out and ask questions…you will meet men.

Barb –

I can tell you first hand, dating a busy man isn’t for any kind of woman, I believe it takes a certain kind of lady to be able to successfully date a busy career driven man.

My guy is exactly that, he’s beyond busy, he’s a workaholic and self admits that. He’s been living this way for years, so it’s really what he knows.

When I first met him (almost a year ago) I didn’t know what I was getting myself into in regards to dating a workaholic. My insecurities got the best of me. I had a hard time accepting his schedule even though he did the best he could to make time for me and make me feel important. But because I wasn’t used to the limited time, I pushed for more, I didn’t appreciate his efforts, I pressured him and that eventually broke us up…

Now we are in a better place. We’re seeing each other, but with an understanding that his career is SUPER important to him right now. And to be honest, what I failed to accept before, I now admire. I now fully understand his reasons for working so hard and so much and I respect his time. Due to me understanding, he does his very best to make time for us to hang out, spend weekends together. We are now in a place where if he needs to get some work done, he’ll still invite me over and work while I hang out, watch tv or whatever. As long as I have him in my space, I’m happy and he appreciates that.

I think what you need to do is first figure out what he’s looking for, if u haven’t already? Does he have time and room for a relationship? Or does he just have enough time to casually date? Also, if so, are u ok with that?

If he wants a relationship, and wants it with you, you have to ask yourself a few questions:

– are you emotionally secure enough? Because to date a busy man, you NEED to be secure! Otherwise it will all fall apart really fast!

– do you have your own things going on? You need to be busy too! A career driven man needs a woman who has her own life and things going on. He can’t be with a woman who is just going to be sitting around waiting on him and missing him, cuz that will make him feel guilty and then guilt turns into resentment.

– are you independent? You have to be ok with possibly not seeing your guy as much as the typical couple sees each other.

– Can you be understanding and accepting of his busy schedule, long hours and maybe even unpredictability?

Im not saying you have to be the only one to accept, compromise and be understanding, IF he really wants to be with you, he will have to compromise a bit too and he will, it just won’t be as much as you prob wish for and it def won’t be as much as your friends relationships.

If you can’t be this kind of woman, it’s not going to work. You will push for more than he can offer and he will begin to retreat. And if you can’t be this kind of woman then THATS OK! It just means this type of relationship isn’t for you.

Hi Sanni!

Your comment really hit home. Can you tell me a little about how it went? I’ve been seeing a guy for about 3 months and he is that extremely busy, workaholic guys who has been that way for about 3 years. I have respected that and worked to genuinely understand that and be independent yet supportive. However, I do get insecure about only seeing him once a week or so, and his friends also getting time. Any advice / story / thoughts are appreciated.