Confusing signals… or is it me?

You should definitely move on, but I don’t think there’s a need to be hurt and angry (I detect a note of bitterness in your post, correct me if I’m wrong). This guy did you a favor. You were completely incompatible. If anything this should have ended sooner (awkwardness, frustrated energy, feeling forced, boredom– all things you mentioned & none are conducive to a relationship). You should be grateful that you’re no longer wasting each other’s time!

More often than not, it will not work out with guys you date. It’s just how it is. The majority of guys you date are not the one for you. No need to be hurt and angry when you realize a guy is not a match. Just wish him well and move on.

No need to be upset about giving him a birthday gift either. You were dating at the time and what’s done is done. And you’re obviously a nice, thoughtful person. So don’t let this experience make you bitter in dating! If this guy happens to eventually reach out again, just tell him you’ve realized you are not compatible and wish him well.

from your initial post it sounded like you really are not that interested in him. many red flags.

I’m sorry you’re still hurt over it. (I assume you haven’t heard from the guy?)

In an earlier post you wrote: “He was waltz, theater, science, calm family.
I was hip-hop, parties and rebelling, politics, dysfunctional family.
Everything i loved he didn’t…i engender i asked him once if he liked motorcycles n he said… no theyre dangerous. I had to laugh to myself. I have never heard of a man saying that, and i realized. Oh. It’s probably because every man and woman i hang around has always loved motorcycles… just one example lol”

You two were clearly not a match. It’s as simple as that. I don’t think there’s anything to feel bad about, or be confused about. You can’t fit a square peg in a round hole. If anything it sounds like you two were forcing it for awhile, it probably should have ended a lot sooner than 2 months.

It’s easy to like someone at the beginning…when you don’t know a person, it’s easy to find them interesting, because you’re just learning about them. Over time, and over multiple dates, it should become easier/more fun/more interesting to be with them, if they are the right person….instead you’re saying it became awkward, weird, nerve-wracking, etc. That’s a sign you are not compatible with this person and need to end it. It’s really quite simple, nothing to feel bad or confused about. So please don’t overthink it.

I hope you can let this go and move on, and not ruminate over it too much! It happens in dating. You meet people, they seem nice, but you find out you don’t have enough in common, so you let it go and date others.

Hey all, i just wanted to provide an update since it’s been almost a month I’ve been out of state and am returning home in a few days.

So ive has time to think, obsess… in silence, by myself, with friends over whatsapp lol I’ve acted like a hot mess and I’ve also talked with myself about how I’m gong to move forward. He ended up texting me after a week, i text him, he text back etc… then 2 weeks went by and nothing from him. I decided to do one last text for closure, also thinking it was probably me and my crazy interest or weird self that scared him off…surprisingly, he did respond 3 hours later describing everything that was going on in his life… long message just about himself lol nothing about me. And he asked me 1 question… how i was. I responded and he did again an hour or so later… again with stuff just about himself. Not asking me any questions about myself lol

I wrote back a one liner wishing him happiness on his job activities etc he responded back with thank you….. And that’s been it.

I guess i realized something happened that made him not be attracted to me anymore, and that’s fine, but i also feel maybe he’s a bit self absorbed… maybe everyone is when they’re not interested in someone. He’s become super busy, so he says.

I’ve decided regardless of what i think, the writing seems to be clear… he not interested in me. So I’m not gong to text him back. I won’t burn the bridge while i work on myself but I’ll start dating other guys and i guess utilize all these burnedout relationships as exercise. I did hav a crush on him though so i an still bummed but i guess it is best to move forward and find the right guy for me… someone who does want to prioritize and get to know me.

Well, because i did like him, but after the weirdness i state receiving from him, i started being critical (inwardly).

I’m still moving on, and this is the best i can do now, so im going to do what i feel i should to move on and im ok with it. In another month, i might actually be like…”who was that guy i was so obsessed over? Oh that douchebag…” lol but until then, I’m comfortable not burning bridges (seeking closure) because it helps me to move forward. I’ll just never text him again.

He has helped me become more aware of these guys in the meantime so that i hopefully don’t gravitate towards them in the future.

I did learn something about myself though, about this type of man. The reason why I’m so attracted to him is because his energy reminds me of my father’senergy when i was a child, and it’s like I’m “going home” when I’m around him, so i think this is why I’m super attracted to him (i mean this in a psychological child trauma way, not in a crazy or weird way lol).

Regardless, it is okay, because I’m aware of it and i know i shouldn’t go back to him… And I’m not going to