Confusing Guy?

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  • #728752 Reply


    Hi everyone!

    I am a freshman in university and two weeks ago, I ran into a confusing situation with a junior who goes to the same university. He and I know each other very loosely because we’ve seen each other at other parties and we’re a part of the same school organization.

    The whole night at the party, he noticed me and was staring at me. At the end of the party, I said hi to him and he followed my friends and me outside and he asked me what I’m doing after the party. I said that I don’t know because I have class in the morning, and he said, “Oh, you have class in the morning? I was gonna ask if you’d maybe want to get drinks with me” and I said, “Yeah, sure! Where do you want to go?” And he suggested a popular bar near the party, and I said “yeah, I gotta fake ID and everything, I’m good” and he asked me what year I’m in and I told him I am a first year.

    He said that’s cool and proceeded to talk about the school club we’re in. About a minute later, he said, “Actually, it’s kinda late and I think I might just go home.” And I said, “Oh okay, well then I’m just gonna catch up with my friends!” And he said, “Yeah, I’ll see you in our meeting this Sunday!” So I walked faster to catch up to my friends and that was it. It was really confusing that he changed his mind so quickly.

    I don’t know what caused him to change his mind. My friends, who were there to witness the whole thing, said that they could tell right away that he was into me because he tried to wrap his arm around my waist and he purposely waited for me outside the door at the party so that he could talk to me. They also said that he was looking at my lips and they could sense that he was trying to get with me.

    This guy has noticed me before. There was one time when he tried dancing with me at another party, but I was dating someone else at the time (I’m not anymore) so I didn’t engage with him. He has noticed me at other parties, stared at me and has approached me to say hi and make small talk. But I was completely thrown off when he showed interest that night after the party. Maybe my shock showed through in my answer to his question. I always thought he was just a friendly guy, but I didn’t know he was interested!

    Anyway, I am very unsure of how to proceed with the situation. I don’t have his contact info and he doesn’t have my contact info. We’re not friends, so we don’t talk to each other. I don’t know why he changed his mind within 2 minutes (literally).

    What should I do? Thank you for your help!

    #728754 Reply


    he changed his mind because of your age.

    #728755 Reply


    @Ewa: I live in New York City where the culture seems to be that people don’t care about age. He and I are only two years apart. I’m 18, so I’m not illegal or anything. He is at most 21.

    #728758 Reply


    Maybe he has some rules that he doesn’t date younger girls? no idea . could also be that he wanted one night stand and got the impression you’re not into that
    was it the first time you have actually talked to each other ?

    #728759 Reply


    @Ewa No, it’s not the first time we’ve talked. It’s funny because every time he’s approached me to talk, it’s about our school club, which is our common interest. It seems like his “opening line” is always about our school club. I remember the very first time we actually talked was a month or so ago and we recognized each other at a party and formally introduced ourselves to each other.

    #728760 Reply


    Well it is illegal to drink at age 18 and use a fake ID. Maybe he isn’t interested in dealing with that. He can get in big trouble with the law for giving an underage drinker alcohol and taking her into a bar. Not all college kids care but maybe he is more responsible that way. All this is just guessing. No one knows why he changed his mind except him.

    #728761 Reply


    @Umm you have a really good point, I didn’t think about it that way. However, the bar that he suggested is a local bar that all the college students go to and the bar is really relaxed about underage kids and fake IDs, and I’ve never gotten in trouble for going to that bar with my underage friends with fake IDs.

    I heard from a friend that he just got out of a long distance relationship. I don’t know how long ago that was, but it was just something that my friend told me. Not sure if that has anything to do with him changing his mind.

    #728795 Reply


    When you said you had a class in the morning he figured he couldn’t get sex.

    #728803 Reply


    Yeah, that makes sense. But I wonder why he didn’t stop and change his mind earlier because one of the first things I said to him when he approached me was that I have class in the morning. Yet he still asked me out for drinks and talked to me.

    #728813 Reply


    Good point. Well I think a valid question that could possibly help me is, what should I do? Should I talk to him like normal? Bring up the drinks thing and ask him about it? Or just drop it all?

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