Cheated on and losing everything, biggest mistake I've ever made.

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This topic contains 31 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  ANM Staff 10 months ago.

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    You know the expression “Im gonna kill you” or “I’m going to kill you”. It’s not a literal meaning of actually killing the person. It’s more like just doing a slap or hit. It can also be used as a joke,but mine I was thinking of as hitting him. After talking to people I realized I could get charged with assault and,it’s not a good idea. so I was able to think clearly and calm down and be rational about this even though I’m hurt. The reason I went on here or any kind of form is because I don’t have any real life friends. I just have problems connecting with people and I guess he picked up on my weakness and preyed on it. It was really nice to have someone attracted to me or think about me, and to just have someone. It just turned out to be too good to be true,and I ignored the little red flags because I really liked him. He was sweet,caring,nice everything you’d want in a guy and,then it is blows up when it turns out it was all a lie.



    You’d be smart to remove the phrase “I”m going to kill you” from your vocabulary because @FancyNancy is right, you make statements like that in public and people who don’t know you may not take it as a joke and you could find yourself in a lot of trouble.

    I sincerely hope that you take this mistake you’ve made in getting involved with him into an opportunity to improve and move yourself forward. Because if you don’t, you’re going to keep having problems and next time you might no the lucky enough to walk away free and clear.

    You talk like a powerless victim. It’s your life – take responsibility for shaping it the way you want it, not taking crumbs or defaults. If you don’t take control of your thinking and beliefs and life, people are always going to be able to walk all over you. You knew you shouldn’t get involved with him, but you didn’t trust your judgment and you were desperate for attention. That’s a weak place to live.

    I wouldn’t believe a word this guy says and I’d cut him off and never, ever look back. Block both of them on any channel and get your head down and work. Find yourself a counselor and start working through your issues. Wishing you the best.




    I know I’m moving on,I’m just done with dating. I’m not desperate for love or attention. It was just nice to actually have someone there for me. I know my problems and I try to work them out. The red flags were small and not that noticeable, unless you were really looking. Once I took a step back from the relationship now,I can see what I was missing. It was just easier to ignore them and,not believe that it was there. I mean no one wants to believe that the person there falling for is cheating on them. I mean I do feel like a victim because I was the one hurt,but I’m picking myself up. I’m not bothering with them or anyone else. I’m new to the dating game and this was a harsh lesson,that some people aren’t who they say they are. That they will lie,cheat and hurt you. I know about that but I’ve never experienced it before. I just wish he’d lose everything like I might,but I’m not going to do anything. It’s just a thought out of anger and hurt. I know I couldn’t go through with anything it’s just not in me to do it. I guess like you said I let him walk all over me because I can be a push over. That’s something I know I need to work on. I just give a lot and put others before me,which I need to stop doing. I’m just too nice and trusting. I think that’s why I have a problem connecting with people,because I give and be a push over then get hurt.



    I want to thank everyone for letting me talk this out. This helped calm me down and get into a better mind set. I just need move on which I’m doing.



    Sometimes we learn hard lessons by experiencing them and that is usually the only way. You are in your young twenties? Stop acting like its the end of the world. Even if you get fired from this job then maybe you won’t be near this guy who you are obsessed with. Have you thought about furthering your education? Finding a better career? You will meet many people in your life sometimes like this. Don’t focus on it. This dude sucks. Stop caring about him. Does he look like Brad Pitt and has a giant bank account and treats you like a princess? Seriously maybe see a therapist and ignore that guy. He prob has other girls he talks to too. He has nothing to offer you but negative consequences either you understand that or you are just as crazy as they are.



    Im not obsessed with him,he was a guy I was dating and loved. It just turned out I was his side chick,which is something I’ve never experienced before. Yes it feels like the end of my world because I was starting to really fall for him. I’m sure you’ve experienced heartbreak before and felt like it’s the end. I know the feeling won’t last,but it’s just so raw right now. Like I said I’m new to the dating game, I took a chance on him which is big for me. I stick to myself mostly and was working on fixing that part of my life. He came along and I liked him and he said the same to me.To have strong feelings for someone and, have them tell you the same was nice. Then to find out it was all lie,well that just hurts and something I wasn’t expecting. Some people find love easier then others,I love the romance of couples and wish for one someday too. I know the road won’t be an easy one, because there’s likely more like him out there. There’s going to be a lot of heartbreak to find a partner that’s right for me. Some people find their “one” either early in life,later or never.


    ANM Staff

    Threats of violence, even if they weren’t meant to be taken literally, are not cool here. They’re really not cool in places outside here, too. Don’t do that.

    I sincerely hope that talking this out has helped the OP. This thread is done.

    I’m not making this one disappear (yet?) so that point is made clear.

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