Cause for Concern?


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This topic contains 19 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  anon 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #749435 Reply

    Bella

    I’m going on a date with someone. The other night through texts he revealed he just moved out of his exgirlfriends house, last month. He made sure to mention they were broken up for a year though, and he stayed for the lease.

    I’m wondering if Im going to be the rebound girl. To me, this sounds like he JUST broke up with her. We exchanged IG’s and as I scroll back to last year she’s still on there, for 2017. He said he hasn’t gotten around to deleting all the memories. I know when I broke up with my bf, I deleted every single pic, and blocked him everywhere including ever social media we shared. The same day.

    he lives in my neighborhood, and we are meeting up for the first time today. We get along, but this is in the back of my head.

    Should I worry?

    #749437 Reply

    Lane

    Yes you should worry and probably not wise to get enmeshed in this bull crap situation. I call bull on the lease excuse because if it was her house I highly doubt there was a lease involved and he was just a live-in BF where she could have easily replaced him with an actual ‘tenant’ IF she needed help to pay bills. You don’t actually believe they haven’t been sleeping together or done any couple stuff at all during this entire year, do you???

    I would go with your gut instinct on this one.

    #749439 Reply

    Andrea

    Lane is spot on.

    #749441 Reply

    Bella

    I see on his IG he moved from another state into mine, then also changed jobs. I also see they travelled alot together.
    I’m seeing him tonight…lets see what nonsense he gives me..

    #749444 Reply

    truth

    Boys make up such ridiculous stories, lol.

    Let us know how it goes!

    #749445 Reply

    Bella

    Definitely will. Problem is because he lives 2 blocks from me, I may run into him again even if this fails…
    That’s why I was so hesitant…
    his ex looks opposite from me, straight hair simple..I have curls and curves…

    #749448 Reply

    Devil’s Advocate

    Lane exactly why can’t you believe they moved into a rental house together and signed a year lease and he stayed to fulfill his obligation? Where do you get his ex owned the house and there was no lease? Geez.

    And Bella just because you went and deleted all your pics of your ex the day you broke up doesn’t mean everyone is the same way. Some people don’t feel a need to delete someone completely who was in their life for years.

    Just tread carefully, pay attention and ask questions.

    #749451 Reply

    Better off single

    Because everyone is a liar and doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. 🙄

    Let the trust issues begin before stopping while you’re ahead making assumptions.

    #749470 Reply

    Bella

    So I just went into his IG and found her. Seems she was still posting the 2 of them together and calling him her “fly bae” just last June of 2018. She doesn’t live near him anymore seemed to take a job opportunity someplace else. My worry is they didn’t break up but she moved and they are having trouble dealing w long distance. I see on both their ends the pics together stopped BUT if he’s fresh outta this 5 yr relationship only a year then I may be rebound…
    Again I’ll get back to you all but this is concerning now….

    #749472 Reply

    Devil’s Advocate

    You do realize next month June 2018 will have been a year ago?!?! If you can’t find any evidence in the last year they were together-together then his story checks out. But my advice to you is if you haven’t even been a date with the man and you don’t trust him and have to scour his IG account for evidence he’s telling the truth then save both of you some time and just cancel the date.

    #749474 Reply

    bella

    So the last post where they were posing was in July 2018. he told me they broke up last year. It appears she moved away and is travelling. She’s not commenting under his pics, but is liking them.
    He’s not commenting but is liking her pics…

    Yeah, so the last pic they were together posing was July 2018…they looked very much together…

    #749479 Reply

    Shoshannah

    Well, yes, July 2018 is almost a year ago. So that’s consistent with what he’s saying – that they broke up a year ago. A lot of people remain friends with their exes, maybe that’s why they are liking each other pics. As for living together even after a break up, I could never imagine myself in such a situation, but I know it happens. A good friend of mine lived with his ex gf for more than a year after a break up, simply because financially that worked for them (they had a great appartment deal). They did remain friends too, so they actually made good roommates for each other. And I am 100% sure that there was no intimacy between them during that time. She cheated on him before the break up and, from what he said, ever since he was disgusted at any thought of a physical contact with her.

    #749480 Reply

    W

    I have a friend that lived with her ex for about three years after they split, because they remained and still are best friends.

    And not everyone deletes stuff from social media. I still have all the photos with exes. Why delete them. It’s my history. It’s who is am, my journey through life.

    Give the poor chap a chance

    #749485 Reply

    Complicated

    I haven’t dated in the internet age but is it common to interpret comments in IG, out lack there of, as a sign on commitment?

    I think Bella is reading too much into someone clicking like about a picture.

    #749486 Reply

    Khadija

    I would cancel the date plain and simple.

    I’m with Lane on this one. I call major BS.

    #750165 Reply

    Bella

    UPDATE: i went on the date.
    We basically bar hopped throughout the neighborhood. By the 3rd bar, which he really wanted to go to, we were both almost drunk and making out alot. He made comments on my ripped jeans, while drunk, saying they looked like hobo pants. I’m sorry but every man I’ve dated while wearing those jeans loved them and would ask me out again. they are tastefully done. THen he asked if I could please wear my hair curly next time we go out. Which led me to think he wanted another date. he confirmed he wanted to see me again.

    I told him the week was hectic as I have a wedding to attend, and I’m available during the wknd. He seemed annoyed. But we kept making out. I also noticed him looking at the girls next to us at the bar. Anyway we left, and, after asking me twice to go to his place and my denying him, he walked me home. He lives up the block from me. The next day we text everything is fine, we are both recuperating. We continue to textbut he makes no mention of seeing me again. Fast forward to yesterday.

    I’m on the platform of my train and i see him walk down the stairs. But he appears to be in a rush. We lock eyes, but he looks away quickly. I’m thinking “what a dumb ass” So when I got to work I texted him saying I may have seen him. He says ” i think I saw you but you looked more tanned than usual” WTF?

    Anyway, he changed the subject to the weather and I simply sent a smile emoji. I’m DONE.

    He wants someone who is 10 years younger than him. I realize his ex was 10 years younger than him. I’m his age range and require more i guess…

    Should I just delete the number and block?
    One of my male friends said I should’ve reached out with adate and time seeing as he had already asked me out…

    Don’t know what to do…

    #750167 Reply

    anon

    You already seem suspicious of him, and now annoyed by him in the matter of one date. Why are you bothering? Do you think that more dates will make you love his stupid pants comments and be less annoyed when he chats up girls at the bar?

    IT IS NOT WORTH DATING MEN WHO ANNOY YOU WITHIN 5 DATES. Nothing in your post speaks to why you like this guy. Before you dated him, you were suspicious, on the date, you don’t mention having fun, you run into him and you think “what a dumb ass”? And you are wondering whether to go on date 2?

    It doesn’t matter if you are a rebound or if he still loves his EX, because YOU DON’T LIKE THE MAN. YOU LIKE THE IDEA OF A BOYFRIEND.

    #750173 Reply

    Bella

    I just feel it’s wrong to just ignore me in the train. i kinda wanna just tell him, “this isn’t working out good luck wit your search” and not do this childish slow fade nonsense that has become so popular.

    #750175 Reply

    Louise

    Then do it, what’s stopping you?

    #750177 Reply

    anon

    Clearly neither of you is into it, so just walk away or tell him you are out. Why are you putting any energy into this? You will go on a date with many men that you either don’t like or don’t care about. It’s absurd to give it any more thought.

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