This topic contains 296 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Louise 2 years, 5 months ago.
January 17, 2019 at 8:54 pm #736497
Chance of the GF respond is slim, whether she knows previously or just found out…
If I were the GF, I would not say anything back to OPJanuary 17, 2019 at 8:58 pm #736499
You guys probably won’t believe me, but what I’m hoping for at this point is for us to never talk again and I’m able to move on. I wish the gf well and hope she finds someone that treats her better. And I hope my ex has learned a lesson and won’t cheat on anyone again.January 17, 2019 at 9:04 pm #736500
Well, whether on not you will talk again depends only on you.
Hope you won’t put anyone’s house on fire to teach them a lesson, hahaJanuary 17, 2019 at 9:12 pm #736501
I’m surprised that you didn’t include them both in the same message…January 17, 2019 at 9:14 pm #736502
If that’s what you had to do to be done with it so be it. I see nothing wrong with it as long as you learned something and leave this whole mess in the past. It’s better than being stuck for years in an illicit relationship with a cheater.January 17, 2019 at 9:24 pm #736505
Agreed, Lala. I’m just done. It’s hard to explain how emotionally taxing it is – for everyone involved.
And no fires – geez – anonymous emails are about as far as I’d ever go. And if I wasn’t dealing with nice, sane peeps, even that would be a noJanuary 17, 2019 at 9:31 pm #736506
I say you are done because it was emotionally taxing. Well, it could have never happened, that one is on you.January 17, 2019 at 9:31 pm #736507
*you sayJanuary 17, 2019 at 9:34 pm #736508
Ya I wish I hadn’t. And for anyone reading this and are contemplating it, don’t!!! TrustJanuary 17, 2019 at 10:09 pm #736511
Aimee, you’re not done.
I’ll await the next update…January 18, 2019 at 6:16 pm #736575
Aimee…how can you be so sure she didn’t tell him, either time. The first time you contacted her could have been the reason he backed off after meeting you. As for this last time, how do you know?January 18, 2019 at 7:06 pm #736577
He would have told me or ghosted me. He’s brought up the ski trip repeatedly since then. No drama on his end.
And for those wondering, no I haven’t talked to him since the last email. Don’t know for sure but I have a feeling she hasn’t told him.January 18, 2019 at 7:08 pm #736578
He was backing off bc of guilt/ moral conflict. But not enough to end things.January 18, 2019 at 7:32 pm #736579
It’s very unlikely that she didn’t/doesn’t know he cheats. Women who are that close to a man tend to know. The reason she stays are no one’s business but her own and that may be why he stays with HER…he’s a serial cheater and for whatever reason, she looks the other way. Or allows herself to be sweet talked into staying. I doubt anything you said or did changed that, but IMO, your behavior seriously lowered your value in those moments. Not judging…we’re all human and I’ve done my share of ridiculous things when a man was involved. I just think that once you’ve put some distance between yourself and the situation, you’ll cringe at how you handled it.
On the surface, I agree that the gf needed to know and do what she would with the information. However, this rarely works out well for the person who tells. I found out the husband of a good friend was cheating on her (not with me). I struggled with it for a while and finally decided to tell her because I believed that if the situation was reversed, I would be more upset with her for not telling me than telling me. So I told her and provided evidence. She was shocked, but thanked me. Now? They are still together and we are no longer friends. Women tend to “know” and some choose to ignore it. Forcing it into the light rarely results in anything positive, for anyone.January 18, 2019 at 7:57 pm #736580
Ya I’ve definitely had a few moments of regret today for how I handled myself. Anger doesn’t bring out the best in me. However, if it ends things between us, then there is some good to come out of it.
He definitely isn’t with her because he thinks she’s turning a blind eye. He’s scared he’ll lose her if she finds out. And I’m totally guessing but I think she’s scared to lose him in general. She knows what’s going on but loves him too much to leave. Who knows, though. I just can’t imagine being in her shoes and staying silent. Love makes you do crazy things as I can attest to.January 18, 2019 at 9:29 pm #736584
Women don’t come here to post questions because they understand men or know how to have good relationships. What Aimee did isn’t cool and she knows it. She came here for help, not so a bunch of self righteous B’s with too much time on their hands can boost their egos by putting her down. Just saying.
In my experience if you’re going to blow the whistle on a cheat to his GF or wife, you have to be prepared to lose her as a friend or if you are just acquaintances that she won’t believe you and will cut you off. Chances are slim you’ll be believed and actually thanked for it.
Aimee burned the bridge behind her so she can’t go back to him because of what she did. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, I don’t know, but at least the benefit to her is she is definitely done and maybe this woman will wake up and get out. But if she’s financially dependent on him and only a GF, not likely. I’m amazed at the capacity women have to turn a blind eye to a cheat when there’s money on the line and she’d have to go out and take care of herself when she’s used to be taken care of.
Aimee learned a tough lesson here and hopefully will act better in the future.January 19, 2019 at 11:58 am #736603
As much as I love my ex, I would stay away from him if he had a girlfriend. He would have to contact me, ask if I was still interested, and then break up with her BEFORE our date. Also, you should never be so quick to be s*xual because this was technically your “first date”. Back off until there is proof that he has broken up with her.January 19, 2019 at 2:45 pm #736614
Also, I agree with Cindy. Aimee has a history with this guy. He more than likely ended the relationship without closure the first time and that is why she feels compelled to pursue him. I agree that her methods are not right, but let’s not act like men don’t use women and leave them confused and more likely to do wrong in the wake of emotional turmoil.January 19, 2019 at 2:57 pm #736615
Thank you for your support and guidance, Cindy and sweetanddeserving. Empathy and kindness are always admirable traits.
We originally broke up because I moved away so yes, there were lingering feelings and good history.January 19, 2019 at 3:16 pm #736616
I hope that things work out for you. My ex broke off our engagement by text and blocked my number. He initiated most calls, so his extreme unnecessary methods did cause me to send two texts (very short texts) from a texting app, two short e-mails, and then one final letter that nicely explained my feelings with no blame on him (even though he really was the one who went out of his way to create problems in the relationship). He had closure on his end and then ran off not allowing me closure, so I felt that some speaking up (politely) was allowed on my end.
I backed off because I want him to feel that it is safe to return and that he will not be bombarded with questions. However, I also backed off for my own good as well. I deserve to be strong and to live unaffected as he is (pretending) doing. I am now in a huge international pageant and if I win, it will be good for me and also, his loss!
I know, Aimee, how difficult it is to move on when you live someone and the relationship dissolves with one person already reaching for the next thing while the other is depressed and confused, but things will get better.January 19, 2019 at 3:31 pm #736617
I’m so sorry to hear about your broken engagement. Ending it via text and then blocking you was a very cold and heartless way to end things. Just based off of that action alone, you are far better off without him.
Wishing you lots of luck in your upcoming pageant and cheers to you finding your real Prince Charming. He’s out there just waiting for you. :)January 19, 2019 at 4:18 pm #736619
Thank you… Your Prince Charming is looking for you too!January 20, 2019 at 4:59 am #736697
“Empathy and kindness are always admirable traits.” – said a vindictive woman that tried to break two people up and in 5 pages shown absolutely no remorse for her actions. Instead there are 5 pages of whining and calling her ex’s GF names, because she is smart enough not to respond to some idiotic email.
Basing on what she writes, I really doubt that she knows what she has done is not cool. I think she is just sorry it didn’t work out the way she wanted.January 20, 2019 at 7:36 am #736706
Did you expect her to contact you back Aimee, after the email?! No way that’s ever going to happen.
She’s probably addressed it with her boyfriend, but you’ll never know as he’s not ever going to contact you again either.
Which was your goal.
No contact ever again.
Mission accomplished.January 20, 2019 at 8:04 am #736714
Perhaps a little more coffee is in order this morning. If you read the thread, you’ll find plenty of remorse, no name calling as I don’t know her but have heard she’s very nice and no expectation of a response back to me. I was wondering why she never brought it up to him…
Not to deflect, because I have no problem owning my part, but why is the woman the one primarily attacked in these situations? And not the man who actually made the commitment to his gf?