Break ups

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  anon 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #756671 Reply


    Is it normal to take at least a year off from serious relationships to focus on yourself before entering into another serious one?

    #756672 Reply



    #756674 Reply


    Yes, I find its helps to recenter your life by spending time focusing on you so when you do meet the next guy you’re less inclined to be over involved in the relationship. When your able to maintain your independence by continuing to keep doing your own thing and not over reliant on a partner for it keeps you from smothering each other. It also helps in healing as you don’t want to still have strong feelings for an ex while trying to get to know someone else.

    I always took long breaks between relationships…heck took a 4 year break after my 20 year marriage ended as I truly enjoyed being single too much haha

    #756676 Reply


    So you’d be hesitant to be in a relationship with someone who hasn’t been out of a relationship for more than a year?

    #756681 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    It depends. How long were they in the previous relationship? Were they married? Are there children involved?

    When you say “they haven’t been out of the relationship more than a year”, are you talking 3 months? 6 months? 9 months?

    Keep in mind that even if someone IS out of a long term relationship for a year or longer, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are over the relationship and ready to date.

    But I definitely think it’s normal, healthy, and necessary to take some space after a serious relationship ends in order to clear your head. Whether that means 6 months, a year, or longer, depends on the person and the circumstances.

    #756683 Reply


    It depends on how long and how the relationship ended. You can’t shut off feelings with a snap of a finger so IMO it depends on if they’ve reached the point of ‘indifference’—don’t love but don’t hate their ex either (rarely think of them). Without knowing any details of the length of their relationship and the ending its difficult to say if one is truly ready or not. They say for every “five (5) years” it takes one year to heal enough to be able to enter into another and find its a pretty good gauge to use based on my own personal experience and others who’ve gone through a breakup or divorce too.

    #756689 Reply


    I think maybe a year and a couple months at the most. He was on bumble shortly after the break up but I didn’t think anything of it since they just broke up. I’ve been focused on my career and have a big licensing exam to pass at the end of the summer so I’ll worry about him after that. Wise plan? And like you said he may want to enjoy being single and not tied down so I think it’s wise to wait till a later point. Makes sense?

    #756691 Reply


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    #756703 Reply


    Just focus on you and don’t invest more than he does. Take it slowly by carefully listening, watching and observing him. Believe the NEGATIVES; whereas if he say’s or does anything that is contrary (opposite) of this developing into a potential relationship, then hit the brakes and walk away. Sit in the passenger seat and be cautious about where he’s driving you—straight ahead or off a cliff lol.

    #756708 Reply


    I honestly wasn’t going to reach out till I take my exam. Don’t want to get distracted. Is that a good plan?

    #756712 Reply


    Are you posting again under another name and about this stupid exam?

    #756831 Reply


    I think waiting till after your exams is a great idea. If you reach out now, it will be a huge distraction and you need to focus on your career and what you’ve been working towards. If he is meant to be, he will still be there post-exam. Good luck!

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