Boyfriend's daughter and me staying over at his place


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  • #815017 Reply
    Anon

    I think as others have mentioned- you have poor communication between you both and that is the weakness of the relationship and there are reasons why you don’t feel like communicating properly. If he wants to be on Tinder, he considers himself single. I’d let him be single.

    #815021 Reply
    Liz Lemon

    I agree with what Anon said above. And clearly you can see he is not invested in this relationship if, after a year and a half of dating, he downloads Tinder behind your back but continues to date you like nothing is wrong. You also admit that you have been “immature and threatened to break up with him way too many times”. None of this is a healthy relationship dynamic. Surely you can see that.

    Then the fact that your communication is so awful is like the nail in the coffin. I don’t know how you managed to keep your cool and not say anything through dinner after seeing the Tinder notification! If that happened to me I would confront my bf on the spot. But you clearly repress so much of your feelings with him, about everything. And he turned it around on you and blamed you for ruining the night when you confronted him. The whole dynamic here is just so toxic.

    So yes, I think this is grounds for breaking up, in my opinion. You don’t trust him and you can’t have a relationship without trust. At any rate he is already on Tinder behind your back so he obviously does not consider himself a taken man. So like Anon said, let him be single.

    #815022 Reply
    Sophia

    If you can’t trust him anymore then break up. You have nothing without trust.

    #815038 Reply
    Newbie

    I dont understand why you keep trying so hard to make this work. As you have been post a few times now during the past months its become cristal clear he only likes to be half in this relationship. The promise to see you once a week when youre a year in already says this is a situationship. Its not growing. In fact, its the opposite, more hurdles come up, like him downloading tinder after you break it off two days later (if that is even true). Then there is the thing about your family not Speaking english. Yesh thats very unpleasant for him if he would be at a party for instance and him not able to understand or say a word. I wouldnt like that either. But to make it an excuse of why you and him are not fully working is just bs.
    I has been clear communication is also a problem for both of you but at this point i dont see the reason to work on it. There is always one of you not into it. Why not just quit the drama and move on as a newly single

    #815044 Reply
    Lynn

    The reason I’m trying so hard to make it work is because I keep asking myself what if he’s a good man and I misjudging him. And I haven’t revealed before that we own a business together.

    #815048 Reply
    Raven

    I missed the business part…
    What type of business?

    You’ve been with this guy for 1.5 years & you’re still trying to decide if you’ve misjudged ‘Mr. Bad to Worse?’

    #815054 Reply
    Lynn

    Newbie, I am only available Wednesday and Friday nights.

    Raven, it’s a retail business.

    #815056 Reply
    Newbie

    I dont know what to say to you. I get its hard but you are creating your own unhappiness and block ways to go on a different path. If you are happy with one day a week and him deleting tinder again, then go for it. To me this all sounds like hard work, for him as well and not a lot of love created. But maybe thats fine for you for now

    #815071 Reply
    Lynn

    Newbie, I am just hurt and confused right now. Although I have some suspicion, overall I trusted him. I have told him if anything just please be honest to me and he said he always would but now this. I don’t know if I can trust him again.

    #815382 Reply
    Liz Lemon

    I don’t know what else you need to hear from us. This thread is 3 pages long already. As someone else has commented, you keep coming back to post here, which suggests you are unhappy. It definitely shows there are long standing problems that have been dragging on for months. But ultimately you have to make the decision to end it, if that’s what you want, we can’t make that decision for you.

    This man has violated your trust in a major way. You understandably feel that you cannot trust him again (I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes). This is on top of all the longstanding communication issues you have been having with him. Like Newbie said, I don’t understand why you are trying so hard to make this work, when it’s clearly not working.

    #815453 Reply
    Lane

    We ALL know breakups suck. Yes, you will be in emotional turmoil for a bit but the one thing a break up does, is free you up to meet a man who can meet your needs! You think breaking up with a guy you’ve been with for only 1.5 years, and rarely see is tough? Try over 20 years with one you raised kids with! I finally did it and am now with a wonderful man who I am ready to take that final step of commitment with when I sell my business (an offer is being presented per my broker) and move to the place we purchased together over 1.5 years ago. I’m the procrastinator lol.

    You can sell the business, liquidate, have him buy your share or you buy his share. There are lawyers who can draw up the contract or a broker who can sell it. Seriously, I have no idea why you don’t just rip the band-aid off and go through the pain v. waiting around for it. Personally, I would rather go the dentist than be in the relationship your in. Geez, my marriage to my ex, even towards the end, was better than yours. Yeah, yours is pretty dismal.

    #815457 Reply
    Lynn

    Thank you all! I appreciate all your inputs.

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