This topic contains 16 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by A 5 months, 1 week ago.
February 9, 2019 at 2:33 pm #739154
I had what I thought was a great first date with someone last Sunday, we met at 3pm and ended up having a few drinks, decided to go to dinner and then she came back to mine. She said she had never felt that amount of chemistry with someone before and it was the best first date she’d ever been on. We had been chatting for around two weeks before getting around to arranging this date and she told me she had been seeing someone else after we’d slept together but I assumed it was along the lines of just maybe having been on a few dates as you do with dating apps.
Got this message from her the next day and she blocked me before I could reply:
Hello! Ugh I would like to do this in person. I must say I really enjoyed meeting you yesterday and didn’t think I would like you so much. Like I told you I am seeing another person and waking up this morning I must admit I felt terrible. I am not a ‘more than one guy’ sort of woman and I have been seeing him for a while (albeit not formally exclusively of course). But I feel even with that I need to keep things simple for my own peace of mind. I am so very sorry and this has been very confusing. I hope you don’t think I am a total ****.
Feel gutted to be honest as haven’t connected with someone in that way for a really long time.February 9, 2019 at 2:51 pm #739155
you already posts this. Go back and read the advice you gotFebruary 9, 2019 at 2:54 pm #739156
She’s dating someone else she cares about more. You’ll find someone new. Don’t worry.February 9, 2019 at 3:01 pm #739158
Hello… She cheeted on her BF with you…February 10, 2019 at 7:18 am #739263
Don’t waste any time on a girl who can treat you like that! Trust me there are PLENTY of others looking for a nice guy!February 10, 2019 at 8:41 am #739279
She is either married or in a serious relationship. Forge her, she cheated.February 10, 2019 at 8:41 am #739280
*forgetFebruary 10, 2019 at 10:35 am #739297
And this is why you don’t jump into bed with someone on the first date. You don’t know them or what’s going on with you.February 10, 2019 at 10:44 am #739300
I know it is hard when you finally meet someone you really like. But, take heart, she liked you and someone else that is free and single that you like will like you too.
She is a preview of coming attractions.February 10, 2019 at 10:47 am #739302
or what’s going on with THEM, sorryFebruary 10, 2019 at 12:43 pm #739341
At least she is honest with you that she is dating but NOT exclusively, there is a difference.
Wake up to reality that nowadays the dating scene is crazy and that unless you label yourselves exclusive, you are FREE to date whoever you fancy!February 11, 2019 at 12:35 am #739452
Not sure what this girl is doing dating you in the first place if she’s already seeing someone else? Forget her and move on. She sounds like she has no clue what she wants.February 11, 2019 at 2:45 am #739462
This must suck, I’m sorry it happened. Sounds like she really likes this other guy and that’s no slate on you as she didn’t know you beyond this night to like you or otherwise. You don’t know the back story- he might have messed her around and she thought she could move on, then realised she couldn’t yet, or she might not have realised how into him she was until after you guys slept together, or she might just not be a pleasant person and used you whilst she’s not official with anyone currently. Whatever the reason you clearly are left feeling like this and it’s horrid. Time to block her and move on. There’s lots of decent women out there. It’s usual on here for the girl to get the goodbye from the guy after sex early on, so the same applies. Chin up and forget her. Good things will come.February 11, 2019 at 8:12 am #739471
Well, she did what everyone should do- she let you know and didn’t ghost or string you along. Probably 90% of women here have been ghosted or faded on by a guy without the balls to do what she did, which was give you an hard stop and a reason for it, so you didn’t have to wonder.
This is how dating works, bro. Or like we tell the women, if you can’t have sex without getting attached don’t sleep with them until you are in a committed relationship.February 11, 2019 at 1:22 pm #739503
She and the other guy are not ‘exclusive’ so, technically, she’s not doing anything wrong. She’s trying to keep her options open, be open hearted, but found out she can’t do it. She, more than likely, wants the other guy to be in a relationship with, but he hasn’t made her his one and only, yet. You just got caught in the crossfire. If it doesn’t work out with the other one, she may be giving you a call back at a later date.February 11, 2019 at 6:57 pm #739571
Thanks all for the replies.
Just to add some more info that I got from the date.
She divorced a couple of years ago (she’s 38 now so the same age as me). The ex-husband lives abroad. Perhaps she isn’t fully over him and even though she thought she might have been emotionally available perhaps wasn’t?
When we spoke about our experiences with dating apps we both spoke about our bad experiences from them – ghosting, etc. She told me she had been seeing someone in the back end of last year but he ghosted her over Christmas and New Years which hurt her. I wonder if this guy might still be on the scene or she has met someone else from Bumble in the last month or so. The fact she said she had been seeing someone for a while makes me wonder if he is still on the scene in some form. Either way he is obviously not fully into her if he is ghosting her and not fully committing to her after that amount of time.
Also when speaking about our experiences with dating apps we both said how much we hated the whole multi-dating side of it all but how it seems to be the way now. I also commented on how I would prefer to just date one person at a time and even though not jump straight into a relationship would prefer that exclusivity at the beginning. Perhaps that scared her off when she had time to think about it the next day?February 12, 2019 at 12:05 am #739599
She told you she’s not interested in going forward and blocked you. Now you’re overanalysing the whole thing.
Sorry to say but she could even be lying just to get you off her back, maybe you were crap in bed or she just wasn’t feeling it. Leave it alone and get on with your life.